Saturday, July 09, 2005

This is a message that goes out to all blog readers!

You must kill any and all moths that you encounter. Moths are the larval offspring of Satan himself. If allowed to propagate themselves on our plane of existence, they will meld with one another, and form a portal by which Lucifer will gain footing upon all of our souls.

Please do the righteous thing and kill a moth today.
Blog Question Of The Day:

If you could pick only one card to represent you, from a standard deck of cards, which one would you pick?
Blog Profound Thought:

I hate juicy bugs on my windshield.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Blog Profound Thought:

I don't think mosquitos should be allowed in the house.
What the hell is wrong with people?

This is a classic example of why people should be hunted for sport. It also serves to indicate why some of my 'alleged' anger problem is, in fact, justified.

This also serves to illustrate how easy it is to forget the irritation of urban driving.

But now to the story . . .

I'm driving on Circle Drive. Which, for anyone that knows, is always a bit of a lesson in frustration during the summer, as the city seems pre-disposed to screw with this road every summer. We are stopped at the intersection that is currently recieving construction right now. The whole place is an utter cluster-bomb of disorganization. Rather than be the Mr. Wizard that everyone else is choosing to be, I just stay behind the big truck ahead of me, and decide to wait it out. The light changes and we go through the intersection.

The lane from College Drive merges into Circle Drive after the intersection in question. And predictably enough someone wants to merge from College onto Circle Drive. Now keep in mind my comments from above about the Mr. Wizard phenomenon and how I chose to stay behind the big rig. The consequence to this is, NO ONE is behind me. I use the emphasis of capitals to make a significant point. Ther is no one within vision range, in the lane behind me.

Can anyone guess what behaviour is witnessed by the dumb bitch driver of the red mini-van to my left? Survey says . . . !?!?!?!

You guessed it, she HAD to cut in FRONT of me. I'm bloody near inside the cargo trailer of this truck, because he is going slow, and this Captain Calamity really must be in the lane ahead of me. The idiot sow basically cut me off, getting in, in front of me. I just about slammed my brakes and got out of the vehicle to point out how much territory was available BEHIND me. But nope, she had to slip into the micrometer of space separating me from the cold steel of the back of this cargo trailer.

People irritate me.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

My chocolate milk has a slightly wood-like flavor and odor. Do you think I should be concerned?
Lord and Merciful Creator? A few questions?

1. When have I suffered enough?

2. How much do I have to endure before I am allowed back into your good graces?

3. Is my life supposed to be about pain?

4. Am I being tested?

5. At the end of this ordeal, will a truth be revealed?

6. When is everyone else going to try to follow the moral dictates you made me adopt?

7. Does it ever work out fairly?

8. Why can't I give up?


And just if you're curious, I could do without the taunting. All it accomplishes is making me angry. I don't learn anything. In case you were wondering.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

What is wrong with the following sentence:

My pen is in your hand.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Blog Guessing Game:

How much will the garage addition to my new house be quoted by the local building contractor?
10:30 Blog Question:

Does anyone know of a good site, with Canadian pricing, for household items, like appliances, sheets and towels, and similar goods?

Friday, July 01, 2005

Blog Question Of The Day:

IF you were to have a super-power, what would you want it to be?

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Blog Interesting Factoid:

At 4:08 in the afternoon, I finally got around to turning on my MP3's. I have not listened to a recorded song since Tuesday afternoon.
I must confess that today has been one of much confusion and considerable introspection. I'm not exactly sure how to process the various thoughts that are swirling around in my brain.

The salesman finally got his walking papers today. Which I am okay with, because about the only thing he was really accomplishing was pissing people off. He'd chased my boss right out of his own office, and had everyone in this organization on high alert, at all times.

However, what I blanche at is the almost giddy glee that has followed his exodus. I can understand some smug self-satisfaction in seeing a hated enemy be vanquished and sent packing. I can accept a little extra curl to the smile that should adorn your face every day. But I think exultant joyfulness is over the top. You hated the guy; the point is taken. But keep in mind, someone just got fired. Their entire world was turned upside down in the span of a few minutes. Be happy he is gone but do not rejoice the event. It is not wine and roses for everyone.

Now I wonder if I'm psychic, because I had a very peculiar dream last night, that would tie into what has happened today. I dreamed that I was starting my first day on the job with a new company. However, it wasn't a new company at all. It was one that had employed me not so many years ago, and sent me packing with all the grace and civility that was afforded our salesman today. The dream was surreal because of this fact. I could not get myself to understand why I would sign back on with these jerks.

It had some other odd moments to it. One, Saskatoon was this traffic-snarled metropolis that I did not know how to manuever. I haven't been scared to drive in Saskatoon since I was 16 years old. And those of you that know me, are aware that point in time is WAY back in the mist. I couldn't find a place to park, so I put it down by a meter on the street. Then I went inside to get parking instruction for the underground parkade and was met by the full force of a Government of Canada terror alert security process. I won't go into the details because they are mindless and boring, but it was security check after security check. For some reason the company I'd just signed on with, had leased office space in a Goverment of Canada building.

Some random weirdness from the dream:

- My old boss, who became my new boss again, and about a dozen earrings in each ear. This included one giant, pirate buccaneer gold one, in each ear.

- All the computers had very small, LCD monitors, maybe 7" in width. But each desk was also equipped with a large plasma TV, to which the computer could be linked.

- The computers were Apple Macintosh machines, running the OS X - Jaguar operating system.

- There was a screw-up with someone's sound and we had rap/metal going for awhile in the office

- No one had offices, it was just a rabbit's warren of desks and book shelves that separated work environments.

It makes me question the concept of clairvoyance though. To dream about things that hadn't touched my last since I was summarily dismissed so many years ago. And have this happen the night before the termination of someone else who was reviled in the organization. The parallels must make you consider some exotic concepts.

Am I wrong?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Blog Question Of The Day:

Do they make oscillating fans that have remote control units?

Monday, June 27, 2005

I burped.


It had flavor.



I was unimpressed.
Blog Question Of The Day:

What is my explanation for my slightly creepy fascination with teen comedies?

Saturday, June 25, 2005

There is a topic that does not often get the attention it deserves. In a world gone mad, when you can be exceeding the posted speed limit, and still be passed like you're standing still, the topic I am about to advance would not seem reasonable. My trip in from Watson should have borne out how the world should all slow down. However, that is not the basis of the suggestion I wish to present.

We all need to agree on a minimum speed limit.

I was being passed like a road sign on my drive in. Which I was going to blog about until I got to Circle Drive. Upon doing so, I was intercepted by this impossibly ignorant butt-wedge. I'm trying to merge into traffic, like you're supposed to do. And predictably, no one behaves like they should, and let me in. So there's a bit of drama getting into the lane. And now I'm behind a large truck who can not go fast off the line. So I signal and go into the left lane.

Well so do Joe Seventy Year Old. This IDIOT goes a whopping 60 kmh in the left lane. Nor can I go back in the right, because that's a solid line of traffic. So the whole endeavour is limited by the haul trucks and this jackass in his Buick.

Thus we need a minimum speed limit. If you're not willing to do 90% of the posted speed limit, then you need to stick to side streets. Otherwise you're a hazard to all that drive.

OFF THE ROAD SLOWPOKE!!!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

A couple of things, as I sit here on a Thursday night.

Congratulations San Antonio. I was cheering for you. Not that I really wanted the Spurs to win as much as I didn't want the Pistons to lose. I'm not against the Pistons, but I was really cheering for the Miami Heat, and the Pistons. Go Shaq!!!

During the fourth quarter of an incredibly interesting basketball game, my satellite reciever decided to crap out. I have no idea what its issue was. I have had trouble with reception tonight, but that's because its blowing at about 100 km/h out there. I unplugged it, did some laundry, and then plugged it back in again. Everything was fine. Weird but otherwise non-consequential.

Why does Real Player have to be so insidious? When my reciever crapped out, I went to the internet to listen to the game live, via the web. Much props to the world for inventing the internet. That would have been impossible, 'back in the day'.

I've never listened to a basketball game on radio. It was kind of different. It really makes you notice how truly idiotic the color commentary can be for pro sports. San Antonio is up by 6 with 18 seconds to play and the bonehead color guy is talking about San Antonio having screwed up by using their last time out already. It doesn't matter! Detroit is not scoring 6 points in 18 seconds against that defence!

Back to Real Player. Of course, to listen over the internet I had to install Real Player. I don't recall the last time I felt that dirty. I just hate Real software. I'm constantly scared its running roughshod over my computer. The very first thing I did when the game ended was uninstall Real Player. I hope I suffer no long term issues.

So yes, I'm the Mayor of Loserville. I watched TV all night. How many of you can honestly say you did much better?

Toodles!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Would golf be a more interesting TV sport if the players had to wear uniforms?
If you need me, I'll be the guy in the bathroom, he pants around his ankles, banging his head against the wall to distract from the burning sting in his ass.