Blog Question Of The Day:

Can I cut all of my grass in 45 minutes at lunch on Friday?

I was just reading Slashdot and a story on the front page caught my eyes. It was about HP calculators. It brings to my mind a question that will probably only be significant to Greg and I.

When I was in engineering school, the big 'cheating' issue was HP calculators, that could save text. How do they handle PDA's that have full spreadsheeting, and word processing packages?

The place we do not name, may finally have exhausted itself. The beast has grappled with me, for more weeks that I care to count. I have wrestled, and fought with this monster, never gaining anything better than a stalemate.

Now, finally, it may be over. Like the sick pet that you agonize with, as it lives the last days of its life, it has finally fallen, to lie prone on its side. The last few, hollow breaths are escaping, before the husk falls silent, and the pain dies.

The place we do not name is like a cherished pet that must die. You know that it will come, eventually, but in the mean time you must live with that soul destroying sorrow of watching something you cared about, stumble and wheeze its way to the denouement.

I never loved that project, like you would your childhood pet. But it was important to me, and I had a cherished feeling about it. When it began I have visions of it being my, point of pride, project. The one I could hold up and say 'I did that'. But it dragged on so long, and would not bend, yield or give me even an inch of victory. I fought it from beginning to end. Now, as it passes into closure, I do feel a twinge at its passing. It was long past time, and I'm glad that the suffering, for everyone, is over.

Be well my friends.

Blog Question Of The Day:

What features to a website make it the most interesting, and dynamic, such that you would visit it from 1-5 times a day?

I miss Candace.

I usually like the rain. When its not tied up in some big storm, its almost peaceful. The dim, grey sky, drops of water falling from the heavens. The affirmation of life, as all living things that the rain touches, reach up and embrace the giving water.

Usually I like the rain. However, in recent times I have lost my zest for rain. The reason? My grass. Somewhere between where I was, and here, I ended up with a landing strip sized amount of grass to cut. Its freakin' huge. What complicates this chore even more is, my allergies. If its green, I sneeze. That's the rule. And there's lots of dust in the air when you cut grass. If I do the chore, I've resigned myself to an evening of snorting and blowing. It's fairly unpleasant.

So the lush green-ness of my front yard does not impress me. It actually depresses me. Anyone for an asphalt front lawn?

Toodles.

Well, I'm going to New Mexico!

I sometimes wonder if maybe I shouldn't be the boss, and my actual boss shouldn't be the employee. Then again, maybe he indulges me because it is me, and he wants to keep my happy. Nonetheless, I just spent about $15,000 of his money, essentially to appease a couple of my whims.

Whim one is a trip to New Mexico for a membrane cleaning course. I'm fairly happy about this. Everyday I take on more and more responsibility for the safety and good performance of our membrane treatment systems. Any additional knowledge I can acquire just makes me more, and more comfortable in my role. My assistant is working on my flight, hotel and car rental needs for this excursion. About all I have to do is get on the airplane.

The second whim is my desire to build a pilot unit that more accurately reflects the conditions likely to be encountered on full implementation on a large scale system (something in the 100+ gpm range). That'll be a $6000 or $7000 touch. But once we have it, the machine will be incredibly valuable, as a method of acquiring new, high profile projects, and doing proper pilot testing, before implementation of a full system. Yes its a lot of money, but its money well spent.

So I guess, despite it being a lot of money, its all going to a good purpose. Now that I've talked my way around it, maybe Murray does know what he's going with these things. I guess I just need to believe my ideas are good, and not be so concerned with things being foolish, or ill-concieved. Have faith! I guess that's the phrase of the day.

This is G%, sounding off from the rain forest of Saskatchewan.

G&M's Word Of The Day:

Headbanger Twins

Blog Question Of The Day:

How is glass cut?

Blog Question of the Day:

(This is a non-rhetorical, serious one. I would like some opinions.)

Should I buy a Porsche?

(Red, 1972 Porsche 914 convertible)

Okay, someone knew just made 'The List'!!!

I suppose I can't really complain all that much. Its not like I paid for the song. Nonetheless there is still a sensation of indignance, raising itself from the depths of my insides.

I'm listening to this song. The one in question is Usher - Burn. Everything is good and then I hear something, faintly in the background, about half way through the song. Some soothing voice bastard, breathes quietly into the background of the song, "AOL Music, First Listen"

I suppose I can't really fault them for doing it. Downloading music for free on the internet is very hard on their business model, such that it is. Still, I don't think its uncommon for me, or anyone else for that matter, to get annoyed by this stupid ploy. Whether you paid or didn't pay, you don't want your song marred by this stupid corporate branding. Can we please find a fair model between gouge the consumer, and making a reasonable profit?

Just my one thought for the evening.

Okay, I'm sitting here watching the Stanlet Cup Finals, and I've got a damn question!!

They just did the national anthems. I'm watching my TV, and this girl comes on the ice for the anthems, in a red, Calgary Flames jersey. Much like the other 18,000 people in the building, who all appear to be wearing Calgary Flames home jerseys. CBC does the obligatory (but in this case necessary) graphic with the singer's name.

Who in the HELL is Heather Liscano!?!

They go on, and on, and ON about how its been 10 years. Which is true, and a heart-wrenching crime. But, I do have to ask the following question. If its been TEN YEARS sinec a Canadian team has been in the Stanley Cup Finals, then WHY can't they bring in a big name celebrity to since the anthem? Its the Stanley Cup Final, for Christ sake! Where's the Shania Twain, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morrissette, and so on. God, Jann Arden is from Calgary!!! She can't possibly be so busy that they couldn't bring her in. (However, now that I think it, didn't she butcher the anthem a series or two ago?) Just make a damn effort! Please!?!

Blog Question Of The Day:

I know she's hot but is Charlize Theron really worthy of an Oscar!?!

Haven't we had enough Shrek already?

I really didn't mind the idea of a Shrek 2. The first one was decent. I liked it. My question however, is did we really need this much hype for the sequel?

I mean, come on! People know who and what Shrek is. How many hundred million did the first one make? The concept of Shrek is not lost on us. The saturation bombing of TV commercials, product placement, and promotional tie-ins was not necessary. Really not necessary. Its so bad that, I've actually turned again the movie. I don't even want to see it now. I'm too pissed off at all the irritating commercials.

Just a thought I've had.

G&M's Word Of The Day:

Eeyore

I need to get something off my chest.

Who decided that pop-up ads right inside the web page itself, was a good idea? The marketing guru's didn't get the message that pop-up advertising pisses us off, by the fact that the dot-com industry went out with a flaming glory? We HATE pop-ups! I doesn't matter how craftily you weave them into our internet experience. We hate them, we hate them, we hate them!!!

And what's the deal with eBay? Is there even a competitor to eBay? Isn't it one of those things like Coke or gasoline, where you're gonna buy it whether they advertise or not? So why all the irritating pop-ups ads?

And how about Viagra? Have we not heard enough about his stupid crap? Okay, my dick is broke. I'll go to the physician and ask him for Viagra, or Cialis, or that P-starting brand. We all know what the penis pills do, and where to get them. I don't need to see a 70 year old guy in the steam bath, belting out a 50's standard at top volume. I'll keep my sexual dysfunctions discreetly to myself, thank you very much.

And how about the penis enlargement pills. Isn't that like the worst sucker bet of all time? Who actually believes this is going to work? You take a PILL and your schwanz is gonna get bigger. How the hell is that supposed to happen!?! Smarten up people!!!

That's enough bile for now. Enjoy your evening!

Map Of Springfield, USA

Just a couple thoughts I had, as I drove across the country-side today.

If sound has a finite, definite speed at which it can travel, how can you have a conversation with someone on the other side of the globe, with little perceptable pause between utterances?

Do cows care when their feet get wet?

G&M's Word Of The Day:

tacos

Blog Question Of The Day:

Does my desk need a snow globe?

I'm watching this Calgary vs. Tampa Bay Stanley Cup Final game. Calgary scored the first goal. They gave credit to Gelinas because it hit his skate.

Should you really get credit for a goal if your only contribution to it is that it hit you in the skate? What effort did you expend to get the goal? I would like to suggest that, credit for a goal should involve using your stick in a legal manner. If you touch the puck with your stick, you can have credit for a goal. If it hits you in the skate, you're no more important to goal scoring than the boards, the crosspost, or the guy in row six eating a hot dog.

G&M's Word Of The Day:

headache

Okay, I have a question!

What is the deal with public restrooms? It would seem that (and rightly so) those damn air blower, hand dryers have gone out of fashion. I do not recall the last time I saw one. At least not exclusively. Also what you don't see much anymore is the linen type. That was kinda nasty. This grunge-y looking thing that a million people had used before you. The most popular equipment for the drying of the hands seems to be the brown paper dispenser.

But what is with the new innovation that has come along with this? An infra-red sensor that you put your hand in front of, and it advances a measured amount of paper. What the hell is up with that!?! You can't tell me that the difference between profitably, and financial ruin is a couple feet of brown paper. Its not like its highly processed. Its never soft, or in any way desireable. Are we really concerned about a couple feet of paper? I feel cheated when I go into the washroom and this thing gives me an A4 sized piece of paper to dry my hands on. I have big hands, I need a big sheet of paper towel!

That's just me. I could be wrong.

Well THAT was easy!

I had this spare computer at my house. During my first year in Watson, we didn't get SaskTel high speed internet. (Not that its rock-solid now that we do have it) So if I wanted accelerated speed on my dial-up connection, I had to have satellite internet. And, if I wanted to network it in my house, I needed a server (loose interpretation of the word) from which to share the internet connection.

I got high speed internet last January. (by that I mean January 2003) This computer became redundant so it was disconnected, and stashed under a table in my 'office' at my home in Watson. (What I call my 'office' is really more of a huge closet, as I just pile stuff in there, and rarely do anything with it) I ended up lending it to my friend Greg, for some event he needed computers for. I think it was a mine safety contest, or something like that. He hooked it up and it didn't do what he wanted it too. I got it back from him, agreed that it wasn't right, and again shelved it. I took it out one more time, a couple months ago, and again it did not snap to attention right away, so it was stowed once more.

My buddy Sean and I developed a plan that would ideally include using this computer again. I remembered it was broken, so I brought it with me, to Saskatoon, to attempt to fix it. I began the attempt this afternoon.

Funny thing happened on the way to fixing the computer. It didn't need to be fixed. I plugged it into my setup here, and it booted on the first try. It had no issues. So I find myself relieved that I'm not tech support-ing my own equipment again. However, I am disappointed that I have not figured out what its problem was the last couple times I tried it.

This is probably one of those 'gift horse' situation. So, to follow the standard instructions for recieving one of these, I will not check any mouths.

Toodles folks!!!

My pants have fallen down.

Please submit your engineering proposals on how to remedy this situation to the following email address.

Grant's Pants


This contract will be conducted in a cost-plus arrangement. All due haste is required as there is a critical, public decency, crisis surrounding the current 'down' position of my pants.

Bonuses will be available for proposals of an inventive, or ingenious manner.

Blog Survey Of The Day:

Who among my devoted readership think that I should buy a replica Philadelphia Flyers jersey with the name and number of my new favorite NHL player, Alex Zhamnov?

How do you thank someone that has done you a wonderful favor, but you're really not in contact with anymore?

In my last job, I worked in a very traditional, business environment. Suits, ties, formal and stuffy. In this company we had a front line administrative assistant. Her name was Amanda. It was a daily affirmation to walk through the front doors in the morning, and get the sunny 'good morning' that she always gave freely. I liked her, but was always intimidated by her. She had that effortless beauty and grace that has always left me befuddled and nervous. Eventually I left that company, and embarked on a new career direction. Which, I would like to take the opportunity to say, I love with enormous passion. Amanda and I exchanged a few emails, but not long after I left, that fizzled out to no communication at all.

However, destiny is a funny thing. What I learned, as it turned out, was that the company I move to, was one that Amanda's father had owned. Amanda's father was no longer a partner in the company I move to, but her uncle remained the silent partner, to my boss, who was running the show. This piece of information came my way when Amanda took her trip to India. I was on her list of people to mail with her Indian exploits. I loved reading about her adventures, and must confess I was a little sad when the endeavour was over. At her request I printed copies of her exploits, so that her aunt and uncle could read about her trip.

I had a long talk with my boss this afternoon. It was the first time we'd crossed paths in the office in awhile, so there was a lot to be said. One thing led into the next and we ended up sitting there until 6:30. Towards the end, as we were talking about the company, its financial standing, and the ownership situation, Murray told me that Amanda had provided to her uncle a very glowing recommendation about me. I have to confess, I was a little shocked to hear that. I knew Amanda was a wonderful person, and I am infinitely glad to have met her. But, I did not know that I'd made any kind of impression on her, in the year and a half that we knew each other. I find myself in a place where, I'd like to thank her somehow, for the kind words, but I'm not sure how to do that.

Amanda, if by some miracle you end up reading my words, thank you. Your words, a simple act of kindness, are a deed I can think of no way to properly repay. Thank you Amanda, and know that anything good you could ever have said about me, is magnified tenfold, in my opinion of you.

Has anybody seen this Honda Element commercial where they recreate the vehicle out of, what looks like, Lego blocks? How many blocks do you think you would need if you actually tried to build a Honda Element with Lego?

Grant's Mini Bar

Blink 182 - I Miss You

Should I switch to a Commodore Vic 20 as my main system?

I sit here tonight, cautiously optimistic about the future course of my working life.

I was in Maple Creek today. That project is coming along wonderfully. It does not look very complete, in any of the pictures I could show (which I won't because they won't really mean anything to anyone else) but we're real close. By the end of next week, with two guys working, we will have 3 units complete, and ready to make water. In six weeks. 6 weeks and I've gotten the capacity for 650 USgpm of bottled water to be produced by a water treatment plant. I am taking a considerable amount of professional pride in that achievement.

And from 'The Place We Do Not Name' there is also positive news. The 'loan' membranes have come out, and the original membranes (each one having been individually, chemically cleaned) have gone back in. Performance on Day 1 from the original (but cleaned) membranes is slightly better than what we had from the loaned (new) membranes. This is an exciting turn of events as all previous attempts have been rather dismal failures. I have hope again, that maybe that project will finally, mercifully, go to sleep.

So I am happy, and full of hope tonight. Thanks for listening. Your support is more valued than I can say.

Toodles!

I love those Russian hockey names! My favorite from tonights Tampa-Philadelphia game? Jam-nov I know that's not the right way to spell it, but I giggle every time they said it on the game.

One more day of tribulations.

My #1 technician turned in his hat this morning. Well, he won't officially be gone until June 11. Thank god for that much. He will stay on long enough to get Maple Creek complete, to the stage of mechanical completion. There is other stuff to be installed, connected, and made work. Most of this being process instrumentation and devices not critical to installation. Still, my #1 guy will be out of the company, before we go to turn the switch on.

I can't fault him for trying to get a step up in life. He's moving on to a government position which, with his hands-on experience, should turn into a significant raise. However, this leaves me with the problem of, more work than staff. We were just trying to get a new technician trained, so we'd have three field agents instead of two. Now, instead of that, I have one trained technician, and an apprentice that is of little use to me yet. The strain is going to be significant for the next little while. The situation I was bemoaning a few weeks ago, where we had no projects, is now a sense of relief, as we're too committed for what we have on the go now.

Sorry for such a boring blog entry from my life. The staffing question has been plaguing me all day today, and thus weighing heavily on my mind. I thank you for listening. Toodles!

How can it be, one of those days, at 8:30 in the morning!?!

I really like this little 3 piece speaker set that I have in my office now. (I decided I needed a 3 piece speaker set more than the new salesman) This brings me to the focus of today's poset.

Blog Poll Of The Day:

Should I buy a set of these Creative Labs speakers for myself?

G's Word Of The Day:

Lonely

A few comments that I feel need to be made, after working another concert.

Why do people care so much about when the bars will close? Let's be honest, even if you know the time that bars are going to close, when the ticks on the clock reach the appointed time, you'll be too drunk to remember. In many circumstances you'll be too drunk to remember you're wearing a watch.

And why is it you can't know? Some yahoo will ask a front line person when the bars will close. Why can't you just tell the idiot, you don't know. Because you don't! Then you'll turn around and ask someone else, and of course the won't know either. Because no one knows! It hasn't been decided. Accept it and move on. Also, don't be so damn accomodating to the yahoos. They aren't going to remember anyway.

And why is it that so many concert-goers can be stupid enough to walk up to a completely darkened bar, and still want to buy a drink? Yes, I know they're stupified by alcohol, and aren't thinking clearly. But you'd think the frigid darkness that surrounds the bar counter would be signal enough that there will be no more liquor. Nope, the idiots still have to ask, can I get a drink? You're already drunk. Stick yourself with a pin and drink your blood. Its probably 2% more alcohol than you'd get from a beer.

And why do we gotta be SO, DAMN, ANAL about the bloody tips!?! This is a concept that I do not fathom. To watch people ferret through the quarters and loonies they've collected in a cup over the night, you'd assume they were homeless people we'd pulled off 1st Avenue. They scrap and forage through a collection of coins like they haven't seen hard currency in two years. Its a few, measly dollars. Relax people. Its just money.

Preliminary impressions of the new chair are all positive. This seating device may prove able to solve the sitting issues experienced this previous week.

Have you ever stopped to ponder how many trees have to die so we can wipe our ass?

G&M's Word Of The Day:

Friday!

For the sake of all that is good and pure in the universe, will someone PLEASE shoot me!?!

Blog Computer Question of the Night:

If you're on dial-up, do you even bother trying to do a Windows Update?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why is it, that when I come in after-hours, and there's no one else here, or anyone else coming in, that I still park in my usual day-time spot, and not right in front of the doors?

Just for the record, I hate the temporary office chair I have been forced to use.

My original office chair finally ceased being useful yesterday. The back of it broke the last little bit it had left. It went out yesterday afternoon. The poor thing flaps around like the tail of a fish that is tossed in the bottom of a boat. I have already ordered a new chair, but it won't be here until next week. Thus I must suffer the indignity of this chair.

No one seemed to like the guessing game I proposed a couple of days ago. I'm not exactly sure why that is, as I recieved no feedback on the game. I am assuming it is because it revolved around a money figure. People don't always respond to questions like that. So, we will try a new game.

Today's game will be a time guessing game. I spent yesterday writing a report on the situation in Souris. In specific, whether the iron filter system that is installed, is providing any benefit, and for how long it can be operated, before it exhausts itself. The report writing took me nearly all day yesterday, and at the conclusion of it, I emailed it to all relevant parties. These people all live in Manitoba, so according to their clocks, they recieved it after normal business hours.

In short, the report said, the iron filters are useless. It is now Wednesday morning and I am nervously awaiting everyone's response to my report. The tension mounts as more time elapses without a response. I figure I'll be into full panic mode if I don't hear something before lunch.

However, that's all ancillary information. Today's guessing game is, when will I get the first call about the report? All times submitted should be made according to current Saskatchewan time. I believe that is Mountain Daylight Time but don't hold me to that.

Let the games begin!!

Blog Question Of the Day:

Why can't I sip anything? When I get a beverage, I nearly pour the contents straight down my throat.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Does a prostitute get depressed if she can't find any business?

I just gotta say something here.

I don't care how important they are to women's hygiene. I don't want ANYTHING to be brought to me by Tampax.

Mr Munchy has LEFT the building!!!

Okay people, I have a question!

Why would I ever want to answer the phone when it comes up with no name, or no number? Honestly, why!?!

It boils to this. If you're hiding your name from me, by getting your number unlisted, or whatever it is you have to do to not show up on name/number display, then you obviously have a reason for wanting to hide that. Odds are, the reason you wanna hide that, is because the info will likely make me not want to answer the phone. (the most glaring example being, a telemarketer) So then why do it?

Maybe I'm atypical for people, with respect to their telephone. Personally, I hate the phone. I'm getting better with it, as a business tool. I know I need to talk to people, and the phone is efficient. I still don't like it. But at home? You can forget me answering the telephone if I can't know ahead of time who you are. No blocking! If you're someone I know, I will talk to you. But telemarketers, surveyers, sales people, and any other annoying idiot in the world, you can forget reaching me. I answer my phone MAYBE once a month. I'd scrap it entirely but I need it to get high speed internet.

We are going to play a new game. If, of course, you, my faithful readers, want to play this game. The context of the game is the absurd value of gas. Now, my consumption of fuel is not all THAT dependent on our fluctuating gas pricing lately. More at fault is the multiple trips I've made to Manitoba. But I digress. To the rules of the game!

I am flabbergasted by the absurd value of my gasoline purchases during this billing period. All of my gas is purchased on a credit card, the balance of which I can check online, as time passes. I did a review of it the other day, and nearly stopped my heart when I saw the total.

So here's the game. Its a stupid game for me to play, given the circumstances, but I like fun, and absurd fun at that, so this could be exciting. Plus the money at stake will make it exhilerating.

The game? Guess my fuel bill. The billing period of my credit card is from April 16th, until May 15th. Your job? Guess, to the penny, the sum of gas purchased, by me, in that period. Your reward for winning, if you manage it? A sum equal to the total of my gas bills.

Entries will be accepted until the arrival of my MasterCard statement, which should come in the later half of the month. To win you must guess the exact amount of my gas purchases.

Have fun, and let the guessing begin!!

That it's!!! Its official!!! My computer is GAY!!!!!

Melissa, please forgive me!

My day started out with the best of intentions. Unfortunately my great intentions were interrupted at 8:02 this morning, but a phone call from a project manager, wanting to know what I was going to do about the fact that a long standing client of ours, an Indian band to the south of us about an hour, no longer had membranes that were effective. From there my life descended into another race, at 100 mph, in the wrong lane as usual.

So I run a marathon, at full speed, for the whole day. Issue upon issue is piling up in front of me. Supply problems on this job, no one ordered the stuff for another. We need staff in five places but we only have one available technician. Staff are taking vacations, missing work for farming. We are promising people product on completely impossible schedules. It seemed like every time I turned, it was another crisis.

At 4:10 I had to go. If I was going to beat traffic to the Metallica concert, I had to leave early. So at ten minutes after four I bolt out the door. Its a boring drive, and there's lots on my mind, so I figure I'll stop for a Coke to sip on as I drive. Pull up to the Co-op gas bar, zip out the door and inside, leaving the truck running, as I'll only be a minute. I run in, grab a Coke, pay and go outside. The door is locked. WTF!?! Its still running, so I couldn't have locked it. Every door around the vehicle is locked. DAMMIT does not even cover it.

Its a 'to the nuts' Chevy Trailblazer so I have OnStar. First problem is, I don't know the OnStar number. I can push the button on the mirror and get them, but I don't know the phone number to call if I'm not in the vehicle. So first I gotta call my secretary, and get her to look up the OnStar number for me. I get that and then I phone. Sure I can help you, the pleasant female voice says. But first, you need to answer some questions. For the ordinary person this would be okay. But I have at least 2 permanent addresses, about a half dozen relevant phone numbers, at least 3 different job/lifestyle personas and more accounts of various types than I could ever possibly hope to remember. The questions aren't hard but they are 'codes' I'm supposed to answer, but because of the wealth of options, I never know exactly what I gave as my answers when I signed up.

Anyway, I finally get this woman the answers she needs, and I get back into my truck. The whole ordeal has cost me all the time I'd hoped to gain by leaving at 4:10. Now I'm lead-footing it up Highway 5, because there are people waiting for me. Somewhere past the Wolverine Oil Recycling plant I realize that, its May 7 and I still haven't renewed my license. Well damn it all, I'd better not speed because I REALLY can't afford a ticket right now. So, agitation biting my every thought, I keep it at a medium pace.

All things put aside, I meet up with my compatriots, and with Greg at the wheel, we go to Sask. Place. I think I'm a crafty little bastard and I enter the building via the the stage door, and pretend to be what I usually am, a Western staff member. Thus I am not searched, and the brand new Canon ZR90 digital video camera I have in my pocket is not searched, and discovered. Feeling really proud of myself, I cruise the concourse, talk to some friends, both long time, and newly acquired from the Brier. Greg and I do a lap of the building, and it is approaching 7:30 so we head for the seats. Once there I begin fiddling with the camera so that when its showtime, I'm good to go.

The only trouble is, I'm about 20 feet from the stage. Which, is really good, from an, enjoy the concert, perspective. The problem with that is, I can look the performer in the eye, as he stands on stage playing, and I stand at my seat, with camera in hand. Its not a hard problem, in terms of logistics, but it does make me a tad self-conscious about directing the camera. The second problem, as I sit in my seat is, I have no bloody idea how to work this camera. To this point I had never attempted to use the camera for any purpose. Sean and I got matching cameras, in a sort of 'don't chicken out' pact that caused us to acquire hardware. Had Sean not insisted, the night I was at his house between trips to Souris, it might not have made it out of its original wrapping. Nonetheless I'm sitting here with this camera, and some instructions on how to use it that Sean had given me, and I can't even figure out where the tape compartment is.

So, I fiddle with this expensive toy, and lo and behold, I figure out how to access the tape compartment. Truthfully, I only really figured it out because I remembered Sean mentioning you couldn't load a new tape while it was tripod mounted. That narrowed down my search to the bottom of the camera.

So, another mystery solved, I push the door open button for the video camera, and prepare to inspect my tape. What the hell is this!?! The compartment opens, and there is no tape inside. Oh for Christ Sake!!! When Sean had me open my camera, and my pack of free tapes he'd acquired for me, by smooth talking the salesman, we had not left a tape inside, as I had been going on the assumption. So here I'd expended all this effort to sneak in my camera, pulled together the courage to make a bootleg recording, and I had foiled myself. The ultimate cause of this disaster being, the fiasco with the locked, running truck.

Suffice it to say I felt like a tool. I asked Kevin, Chris and Dale Cooper (friend of Kevin's who is a videographer by career) and none of them had a tape. Thus, I was screwed. Had I known Metallica was going to be late I could have left, drove home and got the tape, then come back and had a Pepsi before the band went on stage. But I did not do that, and did not capture the concert for posterity, and basically wasted the entire extent of my pre-concert machinations. Foiled by fate and a lack of proper planning. Sounds like the typical end to all my schemes.

I did enjoy the concert however. I will gush on that subject at a later time. I had to tell this video camera fiasco now because the event is fresh in my mind and I suspect many of you will get a chuckle from the story. I will leave you with mirth at my expense, as I often do.

Good night all!!

In the words of Comic Book Guy . . . worst finale EVER!

I see you!!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I buy a handheld gaming device, such as the Nintendo Game Boy Advance?

I have a question.

Can someone explain this 'no carb' thing to me? I know its a diet strategy. But why has this one become SO god damn prevalent? Its as if the laws of nature have been rewritten and somone discovered an elemental truth. Why has the world fallen in line with this particular, stupid fad? Its just a fad. Quite likely that by 2005, everyone will be off this particular bandwagon, and will have found a new one.

Subway has a low carb menu.

The breweries have introduced new, low carb, beers, or extoled the virtues of their existing product as, low carb.

Almost every food product being advertised, seems to minimize the amount of carbohydrates they may, or may not have in them.

Now I read that Pepsi and Coke are looking to put out products that feed into this particular, stupid obsession.

Give it up people! If you're fat, eat less and exercise more. It doesn't matter what food you want to eat. Go ahead and eat it. Just don't go back to the buffet for a third time, and walk your portly ass home. The equation is simple. Energy coming in must be less than energy being expended. If you burn more energy than you consume, you'll lose weight, and the pants will fit better.

Call it Grant's Weight Loss Plan. Eat less of whatever you want but about 1/4 as much of it as you want, and walk home instead of driving. No need to thank me when you lose that 10 pounds.

Toodles.

Does anyone know where all this howling wind and rain came from!?!

Why is there no late night SARCAN? What if I need some change at 11:30 on a Tuesday night? It would be nice to be able to cash in the spoils of a week on the road, for some change to buy new bottles of soda.

Has climatic change, and its relationship to my actions, progressed to the point where it now begins to rain when I only 'think' about washing my vehicle?

Have any of you ever, actually seen one of those germ free pod balls, that seem to crop up on TV and in movies? The type where the sickly looking kid has to sit inside it all the time, to be protected from a world that would otherwise devour him, because of his weak immune system? I need one of those. My allergies are kicking my ass today.

Do you think I could find one on eBay?

Blog Question Of The Day:

How fast do fingernails grow? Why do they go white at the end?

And then he steps up . . .

Its weird when someone does something you didn't expect, and it lifts the burden from your shoulders. I'd girded myself for another tormenting week of driving from here to places yonder. I outlined the dilemma to my boss this afternoon, and he stepped up. It was completely unexpected, and something of a welcome relief. I hadn't expected that at all.

So I can take a short breather this week, from a pace that has been beyond that which would be described as 'hectic'. I really appreciate this respite. I plan to use it to its full benefit and maybe catch some sleep that I've been missing out on lately.

Blogger is being gay on me today, so I'll keep this message short, in case it screws me over again. Have a nice day all of you!

Toodles!

I am calling out for help. To all of you who read my blog, I ask for your assistance, in answering a question that has been plaguing my mind over the past week or so. I don't necessarily expect any one of you to have the 'magic bullet' answer. However, if we could drum up some kind of 'brain storm' of ideas, I would appreciate it.

Last weekend I bought this digital video camera. In 25 words or less, its a camera that records movies to tape, but is also exportable to computer to edit. In short, I have the capacity to make movies.

Thus the question. Does anyone know anything I could put this new toy to use on?

Reply, as always, to the address provided.

Toodles!!

Does anyone else think its a little, ,and kinda disturbingly, prophetic that one anagram for my name turns out to be 'hung regret rant'?

Blog Web Site Recommendation of the Day:

Bob Ricci Parody Songs

I have returned. Sadly, there is little to report.

In news from 'the place we shall not name', there is no news. God damn iron filters. I blew off three days and did not get to ascertain the state of my accursed filters. One day to seal everything back up, and prepare for rinse. One day to rinse, and not get it completely clean, and then another day wasted trying to backwash. God do I hate that place. God do I hate iron filters. I hate the whole damn thing!!!!!

In other news, there is no news. My life has become sadly boring. I really need to get out of that town in Manitoba. It has made me bitter and sad. Luckily I've had Melissa's cell phone messages to guide me from darkness into the sun. Thanks Missy, you're a doll.

Off to the APEGS meeting tomorrow. I doubt there will be highlights but I'll keep you informed.

Toodles!!

Blog Survey Of The Day:

Should I get an above ground pool?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why would you EVER put carrot into a hamburger pattie!?!

Melissa and Christiane are the sweetest girls on the planet!!!

Thanks for the card!

Okay, I just remembered one of the things I wanted to blog about. Credit for remembering this goes to Melissa, as her food comments made me remember my boycott of Mr. Sub, which has lead to another boycott.

I will be boycotting the Teacher's Credit Union. Their radio commercials are idiotic. Don't take 0% financing from the dealership and instead come to the Teacher's Credit Union and get bend over for 10%+ rates on a car!?! Oh yeah, that makes sense. Argument #1 from them, you might pay full sticker price. Full stick, at 0% is probably cheaper than paying all that interest to the Credit Union. (You might save money on this if the car is really, really cheap) To the best of my knowledge, the only vehicles that are exempted from 0% financing are the really expensive ones, which if you can afford, probably are not being paid for by a Teacher's Credit Union loan..

They made a bunch of stupid reasons but they were all gay. Suffice it to say, its a crappy commercial. Please, all of you, join with me in boycotting the Teacher's Credit Union.

Sometimes I really hate that drive back to Watson on Monday morning.

I must have had about 30 good thoughts for a blog entry, as I drove back this morning. Then i've been through two hours of my usual phone hell, and now I can't remember a single one of them. That, right there, is damn messed up. And you can't even scribble the ideas down for yourself, because you're driving. Have you ever tried to write something while you drive? I nearly end up in the ditch every time I try.

I sunburned my head, driving around on Friday with the sunroof unobscured. I didn't notice until I had a shower and wondered why it hurt to get water on my head. I didn't get that shower until Saturday morning. I got up at 10:00 on Friday morning, and by 10:30 I was driving. Except for the four hours I spent in the field south of Virden, all I did on Friday was drive. For the record, it was boring. I got to my friend Greg's place, and promptly fell asleep on the couch. I don't think my fellow gamers were very amused. :-)

I now have a digital video camera. Its still in the box, two days later. I think I'm going to have to sit down and have a serious conversation with myself about buying stuff I never use. I bought a high definition satellite system, and I haven't been home for a majority of a week since I got it. I bought that high definition TV last summer, and promptly went on the road for two weeks after bringing it home. I need to either a) buy less stuff, or b) only buy portable stuff. Or, failing either of those, actually have a freakin' plan for all the crap I buy.

I may be a Shop-o-holic. I'll get evaluated and report the results to all of you.

This is G-5 signing off, from beyond the moon of Endor.

Its 3:41 AM on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. What the hell am I doing still awake?

I don't even know anymore. Things that felt right, feel wrong now. Successes have mutated themselves until they feel like failures. Good times have been painted over with a wide brush, tainted heavily with slate grey. The light that would shine in my eyes, has given way to the soul absorbing color of black.

Its quarter to four in the morning, and I can't make the voices in my head stay still enough to find sleep. They shriek and howl at me, demanding that I do things I feel incapable of doing. They moan about failures past, and failures that are sure to come. The wailing and screaming echoes around in my brain, drowning out any merriment I might find in a life that is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a bad one.

I can't stand the noise. The incessant barking and roaring floods my senses. It gives me a headache. It won't let me rest, even though my body does nothing else but beg from me that I stop. Exhaustion piles on fatigue and yet I keep going. One half of me wants nothing more than to stop completely, and hide in the dark from the demons that would pursue me. The other half rails at me to not be weak, to not give in to those desires. The cacophony of sound in my brain makes me want to pull it from within my skull and hurl it as far as my limbs can make it go.

I just want some peace and quiet. A few hours, or a day, when all the shouting stops, and my mind can truly be at rest. A moment of silence, that stretches on so that I don't remember it beginning, and can not see it ending. One block of time when all wants, desires, responsibilities and duties, melt into the background and I can just rest. And enjoy that I am resting.

One night of sleep.

Good night.

For being an active blogger, Blogger.com parent company, Google (some of you may have heard of this organization) has offered to let me be a beta tester of their new email service, Gmail. I just signed up. I can't offer a lot of details right now, as I've had the account about 5 minutes so far. I will be playing with it in the coming days/weeks.

For those of you that might want to email me at my new address, the account address is:

telk26@gmail.com

Toodles my friends!!

I have come face to face with the most insidious virus that you will ever find infesting your system. The virus is so pervasive, so intrusive, you forget that its a virus, a pestilence, a pox upon all of humanity. But the software of which I speak is the single greatest impediment to the advancement of human society, and the celebration of our arts.

I am speaking, of course, of RealPlayer, or as they call themselves now, RealOne player. Do not be fooled. This software is not helpful, useful, or in any way worth having. It is a virus. It is a foul infestation that overwhelms your system, and brings it to its knees. Nothing will make your computing experience any worse than an episode with RealOne.

At the least, at the absolute, rock bottom least, you could correct your mistakes as you progress from version to version. Still, STILL, these idiots at Real have not figured out how to have individual volume control for your movie selection. Every other media player in the computing world has independent volume control. i.e. you can set your system volume, but turn it up or down for your movie only. And this can't be hard to do. Nonetheless, their crappy software has been around for 10, count'em TEN, years, at least, and they still haven't fixed this. If RealOne comes up, for any reason, it immediately screws with your Windows system volume settings. I loathe this to a degree that I can't even express in coherent sentences, as my anger overwhelms my mental faculties.

Do not use RealOne. Do not even download it. For if you do, all the Norton's and McAfee's in the world will not be able to save you from the plague of RealOne. Throw out your computer and start over. Its your only hope.

Why does Adobe software suck so much bag!?!

Some reflections from a weekend away from home:

If you can go 30 miles with your right turn signal light on, and not notice it, I don't feel very comfortable with you going faster than me.

What kind of a numbnut do you have to be, to play frisbee in a mall parking lot?

What is it about Wal-Mart that makes people lose their minds?

When you put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on your door in a hotel, shouldn't that tell EVERYONE not to bother you, including the front desk phoning about something?

Is it a new millenium thing in parenting to just let your hellspawn run amok in a public swimming pool?

Am I alone in thinking Jann Arden BUTCHERED the national anthem the other night?

The Inn Solutions Internet package, for hotel users, is NOT worth $7.95 a night.

I was gonna blog 'Go FISH' over the weekend, but they choked on it last night so now I'm mad at them. (Brian Burke - sign a real goaltender)

That is all. Damn Alzheimers. I can't remember everything anymore. Toodles for now!

Just for the record, Realplayer, and all Real.com product are HORRIBLE!!

Do not buy!

NO! NO!! NO!!!

Blog Good News Of The Day:

Production numbers are in from the membrane treatment plant located in 'the place we will not name'. The unit is producing 266 Igpm of bottled water quality water to the reservior. This is better than design.

We are cautiously optimistic.

I have a suggestion for all the car manufacturer and/or automotive accessory people who read my blog. (I'm sure there must be some since everyone LOVES me and my blog, no?)

You need to add the functionality of being able to turn on the seat warmers with the remote fob. Sure I can warm the whole vehicle up for 28 minutes so its at a comfortable temperature. However, I could let it warm up for 5 minutes, and be able to comfortably stand the climate, if only I could power up the seat warmers without being in the vehicle.

Something for the automotive geniuses to ponder.

Toodles!!

I talk on the phone a lot these days.

The above statement probably doesn't sound all that momentous. Lots of people talk on the phone a lot. Many people have whole jobs, that are nothing but talking on the phone. I even know one such person that has that job. It is however, momentous to me. I hate the phone. Perhaps hate is too strong a word but 'don't like' doesn't really say enough. Its a grey area in between, with my preference more to the loathing side. Suffice it to say, its not my favorite past time.

Today, for instance, I'm sure I've spent 4 hours on the phone already, out of the 5 hours I've spent at work. And I've probably talked to over a dozen people. I'll get one answer, take it to the person asking, and then get another question. Thus chasing me from person to person and phone to phone. I was even on two phones at once, at one point.

Coming from my perspective, this is incredible! I've never pursued the telephone, when any other method of communication would work. Not work better, but just work.

I just got interrupted from writing this blog entry for 45 minutes while I dealt with the phone. Again. I wanted to rant about this state of affairs but apparently the stupid phone, the bane of my existence, will not leave me alone, long enough, to finish it. So I quit here.

Have wonderful days everyone!!

How bloody vain do you have to be to buy Trojan Magnum condoms!?!

Is 30 years old, too old, to idolize Cody Banks?

Okay, this is an amusing piece of pop culture.

But first, a rant.

This could only happen, here in the armpit of the world. Pop culture media simply does not extend to us here in Saskatchewan. Anything that filters down to us, has long since been abandoned by the rest of mainstream media. If we get it, it already sucks.

My example? A pair of songs. One by Eamon, and a second, rebuttal from someone named Frankee. In one, a guy, Eamon, cusses out some woman that obviously wronged him. And he's a touch bitter. You'll not know the extend of it, listening to mainstream media of any type. But its got a good rhythm and the lyrics intrigue, so finding it by other means is not difficult, and is actually something I would recommend. The explicit version is definitely superior. Suffice it to say, he is not amused with his former paramour.

Now comes a rebuttal. Its only in tandem the situation becomes really amusing. I don't know if its the exact woman mentioned in the Eamon song, but someone named Frankee has taken issue with the comments made in the Eamon song. Same beat, different lyrics. Basically, throws all the assertions from the Eamon song, back in his face. Again, get the explicit version. Its worth the effort.

Ain't love grand?

You know, I don't really care who you are. You can be the wealthiest man in the world. You can be good looking beyond all measure. You can be so famous that even indigents in the rain forest know your name. You can be all those things but I still think this truth holds true.

How can you let a woman like Rebecca Romijn get away!?!?!

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you could contribute only one song to an 'Angry' compilation, what song would you pick?

Blog Question Of The Day:

How deep is the average human mouth? How much can be stuffed into the mouth before it inevitably has to go down the throat?

The corn has returned . . .

Go see 'The Girl Next Door'. Its worth the expense.

Elisha Cuthbert is STUNNING!!!

Is it just me, or do the new Mr. Sub commercials suck supremely hard?

Blog Tip Of The Day:

You can look up the weekly Safeway flyer, from your neighbourhood Safeway, at:

Safeway.com

Can someone please explain to me the appeal of Paris Hilton?

I was thinking about my friend Amanda the other day. I'm not exactly sure what brought her to my mind. Its funny how things can come to you, when there's really no reason for them to do so. My mind drifted across memories of her, and settled in on the regular reports she emailed to her friends and family during the trip to India she took last year. (now that I've given it some thought, I believe the remembrance came from the fact that I ran into her at the Brier) There was something that I recalled vividly, from her descriptions of the society that she encountered on her trip. There was much poverty and homelessness, and she took the opportunity to implore her readers to consider sponsoring a child through one of the organizations that have this as their goal.

I thought about this, and remembered my own childhood. We would spend Sunday's at my grandma's, recieving only two channels of television. When there was nothing outside to do, I would find myself in grandma's living room, watching the deplorable offering of entertainment on CBC and/or CTV. (Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom anyone?) I remember those commercials where they showed the poverty stricken children, and then said that for pennies a day you chould change their lives. I always wanted to do that, but I was little more than 10 years old and didn't have the kind of money they were asking for. (which was only about $15 or so)

Now I'm 30 years old, or will be a in a few days. I do very well for myself. Certainly well enough that a contribution of this type would not stretch my resources greatly. After this long, drawn out background, I get to the question that I feel deserved more wording than would typically be in a Blog Question Of The Day.

Should I commit myself to sponsor a child?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I attend the APEGS Annual General Meeting, in Moose Jaw, Sask. the weekend of April 30/May 1?

All you hockey experts out there, I have a scenario for you.

What happens if all your goalies die? Let's say they go to a sushi restaurant. All of them, together, as a playoff camaraderie thing. They all order the blowfish. It is prepared wrong and they all die, a la the classic Simpsons episode. Can you add new goalies to your roster, or does a defenseman have to strap on the pads?

And so it begins . . .

NHL playoff hockey, on CBC.

If you need me for anything, for the next three months, I'll be watching TV.



Toodles!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I do laundry tonight?

'There is no word for what I have become'

I heard that once. I think its from a movie. I've been puzzling over it for quite some time, but the source of the quote eludes me. Nevertheless as I contemplate my life, that quote seems relevant to my situation.

I sat through a 4 hour meeting today. The topic of conversation was, the place we shall not name. I would have expected this meeting, and the underlying tension in the room to have driven me to spasmodic fits. I had fully prepared myself for a debilitating anxiety attack. To my great surprise it did not come.

When did I become the calm, level-headed one? I can't identify with myself, in this role. I have no experience with it. I have never been the relaxed, head about him, guy. I was always the one that freaked out, lost his temper, threw stuff and raved like a lunatic. Now I'm watching my boss melt into seething anger and need to take a moment. How did it come to pass that I'm the one talking to him outside the building, making sure he's okay?

I don't know how to do this? I can do it. Amazingly, to me at least, I am calm and relaxed. How did that happen? I know part of it is the pills but is that all of it? Has anyone else seen the instability drain out of me? I'm almost reliable. I still have minor lapses in behaviour but for the most part, I'm dependable. How can I be dependable? My whole personal identity is centered around being a screw-up. I had this thought while doing all this driving the past couple days. I drive and I think about all that has happened, and all that has changed. I pondered the experiences that have shaped my current reality.

My question remains, how did I become this person?

I give the credit to my friends and family. Through all the mistakes, screw-ups, failures, let down, and general inappropriate behaviour, there has been a contigent of people that have stuck by me. As life handed me lemons, knowing I had backup gave me the clarity to make lemonade. For years I felt alone, and adrift on an island. I don't feel that way anymore. There are so many people that line up behind me, and around me, giving me strength and hope. You know who you are, or at least I hope you do. I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. You have given me back the faith that I'd lost. I could write for 100 years, and still not say it all.

I haven't the space to mention everyone by name, and say what you're done for me. The support has been incredible, and I thank you to depths I haven't words to express. But in one particular respect I do want single out some individuals.

Tara, you are the one. You know how I feel, as I've told you a million times before. I wish things were different and we could have what we want. That appears not to be, and someday I might even be alright with that. For now, and until then, I love you. That will have to suffice.

Melissa, and Christiane, you also gave me something I've never had. You are friends, through and true. I love you dearly, and hope we never grow apart, although the possibility certainly exists. I value you beyond any system of measure. When I needed faith, you gave it. When my mind went dark, you breathed light into the gloom. You are a pleasure, and delight. Please don't ever change, or let your light fade.

My life has changed. The person I am now, probably wouldn't even recognize the person I was. Growth and change has swallowed me whole, allowing me to be reborn, like the phoenix. Again, I thank you all. For it is only by you, that I became this which I am.

Love for all! Good night!

Just for the record, HDTV is awesome!!!

I finally got to play with my HDTV satellite system today. And now I'm leaving town again. I really should schedule myself better than this. But I got to see how good it could be and OH MAN is that sweet! You watch this image and you can see the 3D aspect. Its not flat, but dynamic. They had a girl walking in from of a sunflower field, and you could actually see that she was moving across the field. You could see the depth. I was in AWE!!!

So, consider this an open invitation. Anyone that wants to come check out my HDTV, you are welcome in my home. It is so cool I can't even find the right words to talk about it. I love it!

Toodles!