Saturday, May 08, 2004

That it's!!! Its official!!! My computer is GAY!!!!!
Melissa, please forgive me!

My day started out with the best of intentions. Unfortunately my great intentions were interrupted at 8:02 this morning, but a phone call from a project manager, wanting to know what I was going to do about the fact that a long standing client of ours, an Indian band to the south of us about an hour, no longer had membranes that were effective. From there my life descended into another race, at 100 mph, in the wrong lane as usual.

So I run a marathon, at full speed, for the whole day. Issue upon issue is piling up in front of me. Supply problems on this job, no one ordered the stuff for another. We need staff in five places but we only have one available technician. Staff are taking vacations, missing work for farming. We are promising people product on completely impossible schedules. It seemed like every time I turned, it was another crisis.

At 4:10 I had to go. If I was going to beat traffic to the Metallica concert, I had to leave early. So at ten minutes after four I bolt out the door. Its a boring drive, and there's lots on my mind, so I figure I'll stop for a Coke to sip on as I drive. Pull up to the Co-op gas bar, zip out the door and inside, leaving the truck running, as I'll only be a minute. I run in, grab a Coke, pay and go outside. The door is locked. WTF!?! Its still running, so I couldn't have locked it. Every door around the vehicle is locked. DAMMIT does not even cover it.

Its a 'to the nuts' Chevy Trailblazer so I have OnStar. First problem is, I don't know the OnStar number. I can push the button on the mirror and get them, but I don't know the phone number to call if I'm not in the vehicle. So first I gotta call my secretary, and get her to look up the OnStar number for me. I get that and then I phone. Sure I can help you, the pleasant female voice says. But first, you need to answer some questions. For the ordinary person this would be okay. But I have at least 2 permanent addresses, about a half dozen relevant phone numbers, at least 3 different job/lifestyle personas and more accounts of various types than I could ever possibly hope to remember. The questions aren't hard but they are 'codes' I'm supposed to answer, but because of the wealth of options, I never know exactly what I gave as my answers when I signed up.

Anyway, I finally get this woman the answers she needs, and I get back into my truck. The whole ordeal has cost me all the time I'd hoped to gain by leaving at 4:10. Now I'm lead-footing it up Highway 5, because there are people waiting for me. Somewhere past the Wolverine Oil Recycling plant I realize that, its May 7 and I still haven't renewed my license. Well damn it all, I'd better not speed because I REALLY can't afford a ticket right now. So, agitation biting my every thought, I keep it at a medium pace.

All things put aside, I meet up with my compatriots, and with Greg at the wheel, we go to Sask. Place. I think I'm a crafty little bastard and I enter the building via the the stage door, and pretend to be what I usually am, a Western staff member. Thus I am not searched, and the brand new Canon ZR90 digital video camera I have in my pocket is not searched, and discovered. Feeling really proud of myself, I cruise the concourse, talk to some friends, both long time, and newly acquired from the Brier. Greg and I do a lap of the building, and it is approaching 7:30 so we head for the seats. Once there I begin fiddling with the camera so that when its showtime, I'm good to go.

The only trouble is, I'm about 20 feet from the stage. Which, is really good, from an, enjoy the concert, perspective. The problem with that is, I can look the performer in the eye, as he stands on stage playing, and I stand at my seat, with camera in hand. Its not a hard problem, in terms of logistics, but it does make me a tad self-conscious about directing the camera. The second problem, as I sit in my seat is, I have no bloody idea how to work this camera. To this point I had never attempted to use the camera for any purpose. Sean and I got matching cameras, in a sort of 'don't chicken out' pact that caused us to acquire hardware. Had Sean not insisted, the night I was at his house between trips to Souris, it might not have made it out of its original wrapping. Nonetheless I'm sitting here with this camera, and some instructions on how to use it that Sean had given me, and I can't even figure out where the tape compartment is.

So, I fiddle with this expensive toy, and lo and behold, I figure out how to access the tape compartment. Truthfully, I only really figured it out because I remembered Sean mentioning you couldn't load a new tape while it was tripod mounted. That narrowed down my search to the bottom of the camera.

So, another mystery solved, I push the door open button for the video camera, and prepare to inspect my tape. What the hell is this!?! The compartment opens, and there is no tape inside. Oh for Christ Sake!!! When Sean had me open my camera, and my pack of free tapes he'd acquired for me, by smooth talking the salesman, we had not left a tape inside, as I had been going on the assumption. So here I'd expended all this effort to sneak in my camera, pulled together the courage to make a bootleg recording, and I had foiled myself. The ultimate cause of this disaster being, the fiasco with the locked, running truck.

Suffice it to say I felt like a tool. I asked Kevin, Chris and Dale Cooper (friend of Kevin's who is a videographer by career) and none of them had a tape. Thus, I was screwed. Had I known Metallica was going to be late I could have left, drove home and got the tape, then come back and had a Pepsi before the band went on stage. But I did not do that, and did not capture the concert for posterity, and basically wasted the entire extent of my pre-concert machinations. Foiled by fate and a lack of proper planning. Sounds like the typical end to all my schemes.

I did enjoy the concert however. I will gush on that subject at a later time. I had to tell this video camera fiasco now because the event is fresh in my mind and I suspect many of you will get a chuckle from the story. I will leave you with mirth at my expense, as I often do.

Good night all!!

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I have a question.

Can someone explain this 'no carb' thing to me? I know its a diet strategy. But why has this one become SO god damn prevalent? Its as if the laws of nature have been rewritten and somone discovered an elemental truth. Why has the world fallen in line with this particular, stupid fad? Its just a fad. Quite likely that by 2005, everyone will be off this particular bandwagon, and will have found a new one.

Subway has a low carb menu.

The breweries have introduced new, low carb, beers, or extoled the virtues of their existing product as, low carb.

Almost every food product being advertised, seems to minimize the amount of carbohydrates they may, or may not have in them.

Now I read that Pepsi and Coke are looking to put out products that feed into this particular, stupid obsession.

Give it up people! If you're fat, eat less and exercise more. It doesn't matter what food you want to eat. Go ahead and eat it. Just don't go back to the buffet for a third time, and walk your portly ass home. The equation is simple. Energy coming in must be less than energy being expended. If you burn more energy than you consume, you'll lose weight, and the pants will fit better.

Call it Grant's Weight Loss Plan. Eat less of whatever you want but about 1/4 as much of it as you want, and walk home instead of driving. No need to thank me when you lose that 10 pounds.

Toodles.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Does anyone know where all this howling wind and rain came from!?!
Why is there no late night SARCAN? What if I need some change at 11:30 on a Tuesday night? It would be nice to be able to cash in the spoils of a week on the road, for some change to buy new bottles of soda.
Has climatic change, and its relationship to my actions, progressed to the point where it now begins to rain when I only 'think' about washing my vehicle?
Have any of you ever, actually seen one of those germ free pod balls, that seem to crop up on TV and in movies? The type where the sickly looking kid has to sit inside it all the time, to be protected from a world that would otherwise devour him, because of his weak immune system? I need one of those. My allergies are kicking my ass today.

Do you think I could find one on eBay?
Blog Question Of The Day:

How fast do fingernails grow? Why do they go white at the end?

Monday, May 03, 2004

And then he steps up . . .

Its weird when someone does something you didn't expect, and it lifts the burden from your shoulders. I'd girded myself for another tormenting week of driving from here to places yonder. I outlined the dilemma to my boss this afternoon, and he stepped up. It was completely unexpected, and something of a welcome relief. I hadn't expected that at all.

So I can take a short breather this week, from a pace that has been beyond that which would be described as 'hectic'. I really appreciate this respite. I plan to use it to its full benefit and maybe catch some sleep that I've been missing out on lately.

Blogger is being gay on me today, so I'll keep this message short, in case it screws me over again. Have a nice day all of you!

Toodles!

Sunday, May 02, 2004

I am calling out for help. To all of you who read my blog, I ask for your assistance, in answering a question that has been plaguing my mind over the past week or so. I don't necessarily expect any one of you to have the 'magic bullet' answer. However, if we could drum up some kind of 'brain storm' of ideas, I would appreciate it.

Last weekend I bought this digital video camera. In 25 words or less, its a camera that records movies to tape, but is also exportable to computer to edit. In short, I have the capacity to make movies.

Thus the question. Does anyone know anything I could put this new toy to use on?

Reply, as always, to the address provided.

Toodles!!
Does anyone else think its a little, ,and kinda disturbingly, prophetic that one anagram for my name turns out to be 'hung regret rant'?
Blog Web Site Recommendation of the Day:

Bob Ricci Parody Songs