Tuesday, August 01, 2006
I'm just going to throw this out there. Maybe I'm right and maybe I'm wrong. But I have an idea for this whole Hezbollah-Israel crisis.
We take away their guns.
They can go ahead and have all the war they want. They can war it up until the end of time. But they can't shoot bombs or bullets at each other. They have to go at it, hand to hand. Or stick to stick, or rock to rock. They can kill each other to their hearts content, but they gotta look in the eye the guy they are killing.
I have a feeling that 99.9% of them will lose their nerve to make war when they gotta look another human being in the face before they smash a rock into it. Its pretty easy to play the 'big man' role when you order a rocket strike on people from 300 miles away. Its not quite so easy to kill a bunch of people when you have to do it, one by one, by knocking them in the head with a crooked stick.
If the rest of the world could all make a pact to not let these idiots in the Middle East have any guns, or bombs, or rockets or military hardware, maybe this thing could be put to some kind of rest. Of course we won't do that, because there's too much money and pride in continuing war. But its a nice idea.
We take away their guns.
They can go ahead and have all the war they want. They can war it up until the end of time. But they can't shoot bombs or bullets at each other. They have to go at it, hand to hand. Or stick to stick, or rock to rock. They can kill each other to their hearts content, but they gotta look in the eye the guy they are killing.
I have a feeling that 99.9% of them will lose their nerve to make war when they gotta look another human being in the face before they smash a rock into it. Its pretty easy to play the 'big man' role when you order a rocket strike on people from 300 miles away. Its not quite so easy to kill a bunch of people when you have to do it, one by one, by knocking them in the head with a crooked stick.
If the rest of the world could all make a pact to not let these idiots in the Middle East have any guns, or bombs, or rockets or military hardware, maybe this thing could be put to some kind of rest. Of course we won't do that, because there's too much money and pride in continuing war. But its a nice idea.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
I have a question about sub sandwiches.
What the hell is the deal with all the lettuce!?!
I have never understood this. You go to any of the major sub sandwich places (Quiznos excluded because they run the sandwich through that crematorium for bread) and you get about half a pound of lettuce on your sandwich.
Why!?!
First of all, to the best of my knowledge, no one gets a sandwich for the lettuce.
'Hi, I'd like a chicken sandwich. Can I have extra lettuce and please, go light on the chicken.'
That just doesn't happen. Lettuce is a garnish, and a poor one at that. Does lettuce even have any kind of distinguishable taste? It seems more likely that the lettuce is there just to give the sandwich bulk and make you feel a little better about the $8 you're spending on a sub.
Given that its there just to provide bulk, do they have to go so ape with it? I bought a sub today and the guy couldn't wrap it properly because of the bushel of lettuce he put on the bun. I don't think I should have to say 'go light on the lettuce' when I order a sandwich. I like a little lettuce on my bread, because it makes it crunch, and like I said, I feel better about my $8. My god, when I need a special lifting apparatus, and specific structural support for my bun, because the lettuce is overflowing, I consider that a problem.
And that's my last complaint. You order a sub, they put a yard of lettuce on it, and when you go to eat it, 96% of the surplus lettuce falls out. So they slice up lettuce to put on my sandwich, only to have it fall out and eventually end up in the garbage. This is just wasteful. Plus I feel slightly morose about throwing away a pile of lettuce that's more copious than the grass clipping when I mow the 4 acres of yard at my old house. But I'm not going to eat the lettuce all by itself, because like I said earlier, lettuce has no distinguishable taste.
So, in conclusion, I would like to say, sub sub operators, knock it off with the lettuce. Let's bring the application of it back to reality.
What the hell is the deal with all the lettuce!?!
I have never understood this. You go to any of the major sub sandwich places (Quiznos excluded because they run the sandwich through that crematorium for bread) and you get about half a pound of lettuce on your sandwich.
Why!?!
First of all, to the best of my knowledge, no one gets a sandwich for the lettuce.
'Hi, I'd like a chicken sandwich. Can I have extra lettuce and please, go light on the chicken.'
That just doesn't happen. Lettuce is a garnish, and a poor one at that. Does lettuce even have any kind of distinguishable taste? It seems more likely that the lettuce is there just to give the sandwich bulk and make you feel a little better about the $8 you're spending on a sub.
Given that its there just to provide bulk, do they have to go so ape with it? I bought a sub today and the guy couldn't wrap it properly because of the bushel of lettuce he put on the bun. I don't think I should have to say 'go light on the lettuce' when I order a sandwich. I like a little lettuce on my bread, because it makes it crunch, and like I said, I feel better about my $8. My god, when I need a special lifting apparatus, and specific structural support for my bun, because the lettuce is overflowing, I consider that a problem.
And that's my last complaint. You order a sub, they put a yard of lettuce on it, and when you go to eat it, 96% of the surplus lettuce falls out. So they slice up lettuce to put on my sandwich, only to have it fall out and eventually end up in the garbage. This is just wasteful. Plus I feel slightly morose about throwing away a pile of lettuce that's more copious than the grass clipping when I mow the 4 acres of yard at my old house. But I'm not going to eat the lettuce all by itself, because like I said earlier, lettuce has no distinguishable taste.
So, in conclusion, I would like to say, sub sub operators, knock it off with the lettuce. Let's bring the application of it back to reality.