Crap! I was so busy trying to finish my model this afternoon at work that I forgot to blog. What a terrible transgression! I'm going to blog now, even though its 10:30 at night.

As I said before, I was going hard on my model today. I got a call from a consultant this morning. Have you got any drawings for our project? Ummmm no, I said. I didn't add that, from my perspective, there was no project yet. He seemed a little taken aback by the fact that I hadn't done any drawings yet. Well geez, I'm not into a 'getting paid' mode on this job yet, why would I be busting me ass already? I suppose I could have. Getting the job seems to be a relative lock. I'm gun-shy about spending a lot of effort on things before anyone puts a dollar on the table, after doing so many quotes for people then having them go to Staples to buy a computer. That makes you leery about going the extra mile.

So I've screwed myself. I didn't get the model done so I'm doing it on my own time, whenever I can, this weekend. I don't think I have too much more than I really need to do. I have the final piping to put on it. Maybe do some rough dimensioning of the whole unit. I don't anticipate 20 hours more work or anything. Dimensioning is the pain in the ass and I'm leaving that part out, at this stage. I hope to spend only a few hours on it, and finish it up.

Toodles!

So I go home for lunch today, and turn on the TV. There's nothing remarkable about that. I watch TV at lunch everyday. I did my usual thing and checked out all the movie channels first. There was nothing on, as usual. That kind of pisses me off. I come home, would like to watch a movie, and there's nothing on. Then, at 3:00 in the morning they play something I'd watch. Put it on during the day, dammit!

That's besides the point. I put on MuchMusic and they are having an MTV special, Diary of . . . Today's diary was of Christina Aguilera. I'm sorry but I'm just not buying this girl's schtick. What are you already? You dress like a Sunset Strip hooker but really you're a nice girl? You look like hell after a costume party for your little brother and have to clean up but when I see you in this photo shoot you have the cheapest, most tawdry ensemble I've seen in awhile on, and seem damn proud of it. Which is it? Make up your mind!

I'm probably being narrow minded about this but I'm real tired of ambiguity. You are what you are, and how dare you castigate me for forming an opinion about the persona that you're putting out for me. I have to give you ultimate freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and also have to give you the benefit of the doubt to an infinitie degree? Ummm, I don't think so. I really believe you have to be responsible for yourself, at all times. Whatever you put out there for me, and everyone else to see, we have a right to judge you by that. I don't owe you infinite patience and forgiveness. I owe you only as much as I'm willing to suffer, based on how you treat me.

I know this girl is not the fragile waif she wanted to be seen as, in this show. That was her 'good' side. Oh, I wear the slutty clothes but I'm not a slut. I only ask for the things I really want or need. I'm a nice person, who treats people nice. Why does everyone pick on me? You're not what you say you are, in that show. You came to my arena and I know you made the diva demands. I was there, I know the people that had to fulfill them. I've read the rumors that go around. Maybe they aren't all truth but the truth is at their core. I was just nice to go shopping, like a normal person. Normal people don't drop a grand on freakin' party decorations for an occasion your mom just made up. That's not normal people. You're not normal people. Live the image or be real. Make a choice. Bitch please!!!

I'm out. Toodles!

I think the girl that works at the Co-op gas bar is cute.

Why is it we gripe about the price of pop, when we have to pay $1.49 for a bottle and yet we say nothing when we go to the convenience store and get a small 600 mL bottle, and pay $1.70 for it?

Well this is going to be an expensive lesson. 8-(

I broke the cardinal rule of driving. I didn't check. I just hopped in and drove away. And of course, I had the DMX just pouding the truck so I couldn't hear anything. It didn't sound right but I figured, its just a short drive home. I'll check when I get home.

I drove home on a flat tire. And not kinda flat, like when its low on air. It was FLAT! We're talking pancake flat. I got out and the rubber was steaming from the heat of friction. I knew it wasn't good. No answer at the tire place. One bad thing about small town living. Everything and I do mean EVERYTHING shuts down for lunch. One thing I miss about city living is being able to get stuff whenever you want it. I was hungry for a steak last night. Living in Watson that wasn't even an option.

But I digress. The tire guy conceded and drove over to my house, jacked up my truck and put air in the tire so I could drive it over to his shop. That went okay. He took it off and examined it for a nail. No nail but the inside of the tire is all chewed up from where the rim was rubbing on it, when it was flat. The tire didn't even roll around as the truck drove. It just kinda slid along underneath, and the spinning rim dug into the rubber.

Now I have a conundrum. There's no whole in the tire and its still structurally sound enough, for now. Do I push it with this tire, and wait for a better weekend to get a tire or go balls out and buy a new one this weekend? I'm leaning towards just going out and buying a tire this weekend, even if my schedule won't really allow for it. I don't wanna have a blowout on the highway some morning at 6:00 am. Food for thought anyway.

Toodles!

I think the woman from SaskTel that came to change our phones around is cute.

Its been a frustrating morning. Everything is in upheaval here at work. People changing offices. People setting up new offices, with new responsibilities and priorities. There's been hardware changes with phones and computers. Everything is sort of a mess.

My problem? I'm trying to install an antenna for the wireless ethernet that we have (nominally) in the office. Up until now the only person using the wireless ethernet was my boss, with his wireless ready laptop. Now we are putting a computer in the shop, which is a few blocks away. The access port antenna is not strong enough to reach that computer on its own, so we ordered an external, outdoor antenna. That took forever and a day to arrive. Now its here and I need a cable to connect the antenna to the access port. This is not a simple cable either. Its an expensive, specialty cable that I don't have, and now need. I am frustrated beyond belief by this situation. I hate trying to do stuff without all the right tools, equipment and/or expertise. I've spent the morning on the internet, and in conversation with people more knowledgeable than myself, on this question. There is still no resolution. That is the main source of my frustration.

Toodles!

I'm getting a new office. There has been talk of it for a few days now but Murray made it official this morning. He told me I was moving. The situation is this. Clarence is moving across town to our production shop. He is taking his computer, which I've put a wireless network card into (that works real slick) and vacating his office here. Kim is moving across the building, from behind the counter, to next to the front door, to more easily handle consumers. Since Kim's office slightly bigger, and not in the direct line of customer view, that's where I'm going. I get a window, more room. I think its a winning situation all around.

Toodles!

My mom had to go to emergency last night. It was a kind of messed up situation. I left to get some food for this weekend's festivities at Sean in Regina. I don't know if I was gone a half an hour. When I come back my mom is sitting on the steps going downstairs to the den/family room. She's got vomit all over her, there's a big pile of it on the floor. Her head is lolling over my dad's hand as he's holding her up while on the phone with 9-1-1 with the other. I walk in on this and I don't know what the hell is going on.

The paramedics show up after a few minutes, I don't know exactly how many as the entire episode seemed to happen in a fast moment, and an eternity at the same time. I guess I could have taken from the deliberateness of their actions that things weren't too serious. The paramedics didn't seem panicked or in a hurry or anything. I suppose that was a good sign but at the time I didn't really stop to ponder it. I did notice there were way too many damn people in the house. The ambulance showed up and two guys came in with medical equipment and started to try and figure out what was going on. A couple minutes later about 5 more guys showed up and all they managed to do was get in the way. The pathway from the front door to downstairs, or even into the living room is fairly streamlined, and not that conducive to large volume traffic.

Eventually they put her on a stretcher and took her out to the ambulance. By the time they'd got her on the stretcher she was already getting more coherent, and seemed to be getting better. She was answering questions and managed to tell the paramedics that she wanted to go to University Hospital. Dad and I cleaned up while they did whatever they were doing out in the ambulance, in front of the house. Eventually they drove away and a couple minutes later my dad followed.

There isn't much left to the story after that. I waited at home for news while dad waited at the hospital. I found my sister and told her what was going on. She came over and we waited for news together. Dad phoned once and said they were doing tests and there were no results, but she looked and felt better. He came home at another point to get her some clean clothes as she felt better and was likely coming home. He phoned a little while later and said the first tests were back with inconclusive results and now they were doing more tests and x-rays. I didn't understand the x-ray part. There was no answer on what was wrong but she looked and felt much better. Finally, at midnight Dad called and said Mom was okay, the tests came back good, and she was coming home.

The conclusion? Dad gave me the phrase 'vagus nerve reaction'. The explanation of that was, after a trauma (Mom had eye surgery recently) the vagus nerve can be irritated and it causes the desire to vomit, along with nausea. Blood pressure drops and you get the dizzy feeling Mom experienced. I looked up 'vagus nerve' on the internet this morning and its this fairly influential nerve that runs from the brain stem to many vital organs in the chest, including being connected to the digestive system. It seems like a plausible explanation, after reading about what the vagus nerve us.

So that was my night. I didn't get to sleep until about 1:00, and getting up at 6:00 has made me very tired. I question how productive I will be today. However, I will perservere. Thank you to all that I spoke to last night (Kevin, Sean and Greg in particular) for the support and kind words. They were appreciated. It seems to have just been an episode that has left no lingering affects. Mom seemed fine again this morning.

Have good day peoples. Toodles!

"You gotta grow man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? I know this poor, hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man crying out. He's crying out, when lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul mouthed little chucklehead, to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents me from ever getting to kiss a girl. Fuck! When Lord, when? When's gon' be my time!"

I have a pet peeve. Maybe this is just particular to me, and everyone else does it differently but nonetheless it irritates the hell out of me.

MSN Messenger (aren't all my probably in some way connected to Microsoft!?!) imports your contact list to the contacts area in Outlook Express. This is a good feature, if it actually freakin' worked. When you install the program, it adds all the contacts to your address book in Outlook Express and that's where it stops. You can change your online name in MSN Messenger, but it doesn't update in your Outlook Express contact list.

Perhaps I'm just a feeb and there is a way to fix this. I always prefer ranting about the evils of Microsoft first. In any event, in the incarnation that is operating on my computers, Outlook Express does not update my MSN contacts and it irritates me. That is all.

Toodles!

Sorry for not posting yesterday. It was kind of a weird day. I was answering questions from a consulting engineer in Saskatoon. I spent nearly the whole day, yesterday, writing emails. I'd meticulously craft a response to this guy's question, send it off, then get another batch of questions about a half hour later. I must have written 5 emails to this engineer yesterday. I think I finally got my point explained to him. I got a reply this morning that said he understood my point now.

I didn't have a good night last night. I woke up a bunch of times. I even had to get up and go to the bathroom, which almost never happens. I couldn't tell you why it was such a chaotic night. I do know that I kept having this irrational fear that I was going to oversleep and be late for work. Of course I wasn't late for work, and instead woke myself a bunch of times overnight. I hate when I do that.

My new favorite emoticon is 8-|

I'm downloading new music like a crazy man lately. The endless cycle of the same CD's in my truck was driving me nuts. I have downloaded 5 albums in the past 4 work days. I'm a crazy man!!! I'm also a thief but I'm comfortable with it. I wouldn't otherwise listen to this music so its not like anyone is out any money. I wouldn't have bought the CD's so I didn't really cost the artists, or the record company, any money. I am thinking of buying some CD's but I never seem to end up at the record store. I wanna get the Pearl Jam album and I think there's a Tragically Hip album that I don't have. I think I'll have to make an effort to go to the store one of these weekends. I never seem to manage all of my differing priorities very well. 8-|

Toodles!

Have you ever taken a Mr. Big bar out of the wrapper and set it on the table? Doesn't it look like a turd?

I'm having a weird day. I've been having a lot of those lately. My head just doesn't seem to be in the game anymore. I'm not sure if its winter blah's, general discontent, or something more sinister. I just can't concentrate. I will provide some examples.

Right now I'm trying to write this simple introduction letter. I did a budgetary quote for a consulting engineer in Saskatoon and I'm just puttting together a short one page document to introduce the proposal, and give the preliminary price. I can't find any words. I just wanna say hello, this is who I am, and here's the price. That should be something simple for me, a person that likes writing. I'm stuck for words. I wonder if my atmosphere is contributing to my problem. Maybe I need more sunlight. Sunlight seems to help me think. That is an angle I had not considered.

I want something. That's all I know however. There is this general sense of desiring some thing but I can't put my finger on what that object or concept is, that I want. It is a most frustrating situation. I'd ponder that but I want to finish this stupid letter I'm trying to write yesterday. If any of you have seen my missing 'want' let me know where you saw it and I'll swing by and pick it up. Thanks.

Toodles!

Today has been a day of random thoughts. I've been kind of flitting across a wide variety of things and haven't really concentrated on anything. Such is my day-to-day life but its seemed more pronounced today.

Our new friends from Winnipeg got home, and went to work for the first time today. Thus they were recieving emails and the barrage of digital mail has begun. I wonder what people did during the work day before email and IM? Probably talked to their co-workers. I suppose I could do that too but, my co-workers do not share the same world perspective as me so conversations with them are often brief. I prefer talking to my friends, or are more in tune with my way of thinking.

I finally got to wash my truck last night. God did it need that! It was caked and covered in a white, ugly crusty substance. I'm assuming it was road salt but I did not perform a full spectral analysis. I spent three bucks washing it and I got my full money's worth. Actually, the sludge game off pretty easily, which was reassuring. If it peeled off that easily, it wasn't embedded or anything. It was probably too cold for that, if that's any kind of explanation.

I sorted my file cabinet this morning. The one project from Manitoba has created a prodigious amount of paper and in looking for something I realized that my file folder had no rhyme or reason. I decided to try and make order from chaos. It took an hour. That surprised me. If you just randomly stuff paper into a file cabinet for months, its amazing the level of insanity you can create.

There's something else on my mind but I can't figure out how to write it down, to really say what's in my head. Grant, stuck for words? Doesn't seem possible, does it? In this instance it is true. I'm actually having some trouble getting my head around some of my beliefs lately. It looks like its time for another re-definition. I hate having to do it but every so often it seems my psyche needs reorganization. I should draw up a map of my convoluted brain so it would be easier to sort. Kind of like my file cabinet from this morning.

Toodles!

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I just wrapped up two things simultaneously and need to show them to my boss. So what happens? He leaves the office after being in it for only half an hour this afternoon! So, while I'm super busy with projects, I'm kind of up against the wall at this very moment because step two is dependent upon my bosses approval before continuation. I hate that. I should assert myself as a constitutional monarchy and make pre-emptory decisions based on what I think.

On second thought, that's a bad idea. I have a tendency to go for the overly dramatic and that doesn't play too well in the general business world. My decisions would be rash, and ill concieved, if I put all of them into practice. Better that I have a boss, to buffer my wild notions from the world at large.

Toodles again!

News from the world of Blog!

In news today, your intrepid warrior, Sir Telk, has encountered the Hortizigoid Intestine creature. This is a foul, entrenched beast that feeds on the healthy intestines of wayward travelers. Early this morn, yours truly came upon this miscreant as I slumbered quietly along the Road of Sominus. I was minding my own business, having a lovely dream about something I don't remember, when the Hortizigoid Intestine Monster or HIM for short, jumped up and grabbed me firmly, with all claws, about the intestine and general tummy region. I was in agony. My interminable battle with this monster has continued, without abatement, since 4:00 this morning. I am not winning the tide. My latest weapon to unleash upon the beast has been a liberal dosing of the ale of ginger. It is my distinct hope that this will provide the necessary carbon dioxide to poison the creature, and with a powerful exhalation or two, I will rid it from my innards.

Other than that, I'm good. Hopefully the rest of your travelers of the internet are avoiding the pitfalls and follies of misfortune. Toodles!

I am a glutton for punishment.

I'm no sooner back from the Dominican Republic and I'm already into planning mode on the next trip I want to take. I would like to go watch the Montreal Expos play baseball this summer, in Montreal. The problem I'm having is, I can't find a hotel. Its hard to search for a hotel when your criteria is, proximity to a facility. Everything is based on price and, as I'm finding, the internet does not favor searching for discount chains. The search pages are geared towards luxury accomodationis so you get high end hotels at a couple hundred dollars a night. Not what I'm looking for. Thus my search is frustrating. I need a better way to do this.

Toodles!

I am back from the Dominican Republic!

What does this news mean for you, the blog reader? Well, for one thing, I'll be writing in my blog again. I was going to do an entry from Punta Cana but when I had internet time, I had another problem that took me away from the computer. Oh well, I didn't really have much of note to say at that time anyway. I'd only been there one day.

The real shock that I've experienced coming back is the weather. Holy Moly is it cold! Last week at this time I was in +30 C weather, with high humidity that made hot seem even hotter. I was roasting on the beach, getting a sunburn that turned out to be fairly nasty. Now its this week, and I drive back to -38 C on my truck thermometer as I rolled into Watson. That's a 70 C difference! Yikes! That's nearly the difference between freezing and boiling water! All I can say is, wow. Its been a wild transition.

I'm glad to be home though. I think the value of a vacation was kind of lost on me, with all the travelling I've done since Christmas. The trip was good. I loved the beach, the warm weather, and the new people we met there. Hopefully some lasting friendships will endure, and the memories will linger for some time. But when a week was up, I was ready to come home. Its actually comforting to be back at my desk, some work in front of me, to engage my mind. The cold is but a minor annoyance.

Have a good day people. Toodles!

Well, this is the last day before I leave. I thought I'd jot down a quick blog entry while I had a minute. Funny, I'm not excited. I'm actually nervous and tense. I believe I'm having a small panic attack. Which sucks because these aren't fun. :-s

I don't really have anything to say this morning. I've been kind of lost in a fog the whole time I've been awake. I was kind of in a fog while I was sleeping too. I had a continual night of sleep, but it wasn't relaxed. I have a vague recollection of hazy, disconnected dreaming. I guess that doesn't matter much. I tend to ponder my dreams though, and I'm always discombobulated when they won't fit into some kind of pattern.

I'm at once happy to be going on vacation, and sad at leaving so much behind. Life's been pretty chaotic for the last year, and as much as I want to get away from it, there is a sense of comfort in knowing your circumstances, even if you percieve them to be lousy. I will actually miss coming to work, even though its been causing me grief lately. I'm going to miss talking to my friends on the computer. I'm going to miss my routine on weekdays, and my frenetic weekends in Saskatoon. And I'm going to miss Tara. Lots of missing. It almost doesn't seem like the fun of a vacation is going to replace it.

One thing that might be causing my trepidation today is the realization of what happened last year. I went on vacation, came home, and promptly lost my job. I hadn't considered that particular angle until just this moment. I hope that's not what's preying on my mind.

I guess the only thing to do is throw aside all my cares and just embrace the coming experience. I will take some pictures, collect some stories, and come home with lots to write about here, in this blog. Miss me people, because I'm going to miss you.

Toodles!

I've done it again. No, no, not that! Geez, you guys have sick minds! :-P

No, I wrote something that's not going to see the light of day. I wonder some days why I even bother putting this stuff on page. Of course I know the answer to my own question. I need the catharsis of committing stuff to some kind of reality, since I will, in all probability, never act on the things that I can so easily put on a page. I wish I had more confidence in myself. Any time I have the guts to let someone read something I've written, I always get mostly positive feedback. They always have suggestions, which is good, but for the most part they think its good. Still I'm mired in self doubt. I hate rejection. That's my biggest failing, and probably the one single factor that limits me most as a human being.

Anyway, what I wrote. I wrote a caustic pilot report yesterday afternoon and into this morning. We got a set of comments about the first revision of the original report. (For you keeping score that means this is the third iteration of the pilot report) Most of them were valid, from the point of view that the information wasn't there. However, the information wasn't there because there was none to give. Really, they didn't need to ask the questions that were asked. It shouldn't matter to them. Bottom line, do we think can provide the quality of water asked for in the contract? We said that we think we could. That should be end of story. So, being the type of person I am, wrote a very politely worded report where the veiled response was for them to sod off. I gotta break myself of this habit! 8-(

Toodles!