Today on Grant's Rants we are going to take a walk down memory lane. I am going to post a couple pictures to the world today, and we'll see if any of you remember the people depicted in these images. Sorry goes to my Mom, and more to Candace (because I know she's going to spawn a cow when she finds out I put her picture on the internet). If I know my Dad at all, I don't think he's going to care.

Award (2004)


Wedding (2004)


Today's trip down memory lane was cued by a conversation I was having with Melissa the other day. I don't recall the exact reason why we ended up on the topic of body weight, but it came up for some reason. I made the comment that I'd once weighed (as an adult) 134 pounds. She was a little incredulous of that, and I promised to prove it. Well, this is me proving it.

My mom mailed me these photos yesterday. They are shots taken of me from when I was 18, so in 1992. I didn't even recognize the guy in the picture as me, at first. Especially in the 'award' photo. I had no exterior reference for it. (Other than I recognized the coat and the T-shirt). The 'wedding' picture reminded me of me more, but probably only because I was with my family.

To answer the question of how I was that skinny then, and not even close to skinny now, I will sum it up in a few words. I was sick, in an mental and emotional way. I was not making good decisions. I was in a bad, ugly, desperate state of mind that did not want to respond to stimuli. I was wrapped in my inner pain, and I couldn't escape. I think I'd have qualified for an anorexic diagnosis, had that been my only concern. There were, unfortunately, far more difficult, and potentially tragic forces at work, such that we kind of ignored the weight thing. The fact that we did ignore it, is a testimonial to how messed in the head I was. While I may be 80 pounds heavier now, I would suggest I am far more healthy.