Ummmmm God? A word?

God? Yeah, hi. Worshipper Guenther here. Gotta question for ya. Is today indicative of the after-life I can expect in heaven? If so, could I please go to hell?

Alright, I get it. I had the plague coming. You're right, I screwed up, and I deserved that one.

The locusts? A touch much, don't you think? Sure, I kinda punted that one, and I did have something coming, but couldn't the plague have covered both transgressions?

But to top THAT, do we really have to do this insomnia gaffe again? I can't see how I've ever done anything to deserve that. You know how much pain this brings me. Couldn't we have done without that little penalty?

And then you top it off with the events of my Tuesday. That pace you gave me, starting at 6:00 AM and not abating, even a little bit, until 10:30 in the evening. At what point do I get to stop calling you the merciful creator?

And THEN!!! You top off a truly excremental day, with a steaming, stinky, absolutely vile bowl of SHIT! Not poo, or poop, or crap, or excrement. Shit, in its purest, brownest, most complete form. And you roll that in together with some absolutely infuriating plumbing, and an unabating flow of water until I'm bloody near swimming in this putrid, fetid stinking POND that was once my bathroom.

When LORD!?! When the FUCK can your servent, ditch this foul set of circumstances and finally get to know some peace? When Lord when!?! When's gonna be my time!?!?!?!?!

If you need me, I'll be in the shower, trying to wash out the smell.