I smell like ass.

Normally you wouldn't admit to that but this is something of a special case. The ass in question is not really ass at all. The smell of hot, fresh ass is actually the result of a pail of waste water from an oat processing plant. Turns out if you let it ferment for an week it turns into the smell we all know and don't love.

We were doing an experiment today. We had three samples of water from the previously mentioned oat processing plant that we wanted to filter, and then subsequently have the filtrate analyzed for water quality. We had a number of difficulties in achieving this purpose. The bulk of our problems revolved around pumps. As in, we couldn't find one that would pump water. That was exceedingly frustrating.

Back to the ass. . .

The last pail we wanted to filter was really rank. I mean, chase you from the room rank. And it was a big room. In fact, it chased several people from the room. Nonetheless, my partner Alain and I perservered. We had a mission. Lamentably, we were plagued by the previously mentioned pump problems. The problem being, the pump wouldn't move any water. After at least half an hour of fussing with it, in complete desperation, we took the discharge hose off the pump and tried to see if it would move water that way.

This, was a mistake.

The pump, without the discharge hose, would move water. Quite well actually. That might not be such a big deal except we were dealing with the previously mentioned ass-smelling water. A pump without a connected discharge hose will shoot water in an indiscriminant direction. In this case the direction was all over us. Thus we smelled like ass.

Which might not have been such a big deal except that, because of the nature of the water we were pumping, and the pump we had to use, this last sample took forever to filter enough water for our sampling purposes. While the first bottles took about an hour to fill our samples, this last, stinky, sample took SIX hours. We were at the office until midnight, filtering water with our little sample system. I like my job but I have my limits. Midnight on a long weekend is too long to stay at work.

Luckily a shower has washed the ass smell off me. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get the rest I've been craving since 5:00.