Okay, we've got to talk about something. This kind of ridiculous behaviour has gone on for too long and we really need to put a stop to it.

Bike Idiots. Get off the road.

I get it. You think you're hip, and cool and all ecological because you're riding your high class bicycle to work. We're monsters because we motor along in our SUVs, sucking down precious gasoline and sucking down greasy McDonald's food while you peddle for your health. I get it. I totally do.

But here's something you need to understand. And I'll say it loud so you don't misunderstand. YOU ARE NOT A VEHICLE!!!

Get off the road you idiot! Fine, if you wanna ride on the street when you're in a residential section of the city I have no problem with it. In fact, its probably courteous because you won't get in the way of any pedestrians. But when you take your peddle-pushing ass out onto a major arterial roadway during rush-hour, I get my panties in a bunch. Get off the road you moron!

I'm trying to get to work on time in the morning and some jack-ass on his expensive mountain bike is riding right up the center of the lane on 51st Street. You jack-ass! Nor can I go around him, because like I said its rush-hour, so the street is jammed (as far as that goes in Saskatoon). Neither can the six cars behind me, for the exact same reason. So we're all brought to a snail's crawl because Captain Fantastic is going to save the world, one bike ride at a time.

Idiot.