Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"Can I have two double rye's, and a Pil?"

"No. We can't serve doubles, and you're only allowed two drinks per person. Plus we don't have Pil."

"Why can't I have a double?"

"You just can't. Its in the liquor license."

"That's stupid."

"Sorry. I don't make the rules."

"Okay, then give me two singles, with very little pop."

"I have to fill the glass up. It has to be a mixed drink."

"That's stupid."

"Sorry."

"Why does it have to be a mixed drink?"

"Like I said, its in the liquor license."

"That's stupid. So I really can't have a double?"

-- pause --

"NO!!! You can't have a fucking double!!! I've said that like six fucking times already! Who the fuck do you think you are anyway!?! Its a god damn rule! I'm not personally singling you out for persecution, you idiot! The last guy couldn't have a god damn double rye, and the next person to ask ain't gonna get one either. And no, it doesn't help if you ask for a double vodka, or a double rum either. No doubles!!! That's the god damn rule! Now why do I gotta keep standing here as your feeble fucking brain looks for the bloody loophole that isn't fucking there!?! What are you? Fucking retarded!?!"

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