I swear on something holy we live in a god damn cultural wasteland. There is nothing but blindness and blandness, no matter which direction you turn. Every attempt to think in a manner that is counter to the herd and you get trampled by the stupid, unwashed masses as they rush towards sameness and normalcy.

I went to the mall recently. My purpose was to buy a St. Louis Cardinals baseball jersey. They won the World Series and I was going to commemorate the occasion by acquiring their jersey for my collection.

First of all I just want to say that the whole Halloween thing has been grossly misappropriated. I’m downtown at the mall and there are all these stupid people dressed up in costumes. I’m not a big fan of a costume on even the best of occasions but I don’t need to see fairies and people with robot heads walking around the mall while I’m trying to get something done. Frankly I think its kind of stupid, and infantile.

Bygones.

So I go to the one place in Saskatoon that might have the article I am pursuing. It might have piqued my wrath already, had I stopped to consider there was only one place in all of Saskatoon where I might find this item. I wasn’t that far ahead in my thinking at the time. I peruse the store, looking for my jersey and to my great dismay they had nothing.

Then I got mad.

How god damn pathetic is it that, in a city of close to a quarter MILLION people, we:

a) have only one store that sells a wide array of sports jerseys and
b) they don’t have the World Series champions in their inventory!?!

What did they have for selection? About 100 different Saskatchewan Roughrider jerseys. All that had been appliquéd with names/numbers so that they could be premium priced at $169.99. Failing that you could get an Edmonton Oilers jersey. Where the HELL were they back in June? Or, if you happened to be stupid enough to like baseball, there were an assortment of Toronto Blue Jays shirts hanging disconsolately, way at the back of the store.

Is this what we’ve degenerated to? You can like The Riders, the Oilers or the Jays, and other than that you can go stick it in the left ear? Oh, they MIGHT have something else, but its just one sample, and its probably the wrong size, or it’s the away jersey when you wanted the home one. Christ, would it kill us to have some halfway decent shopping options in this outpost on the road to oblivion? How many times do I have to go shopping for something, and not be able to find it? This shouldn’t even have been that obscure. They won the bloody World Series!!!

By this time I was just wound right up about the injustice that is shopping in Saskatoon. I pay my $0.75 for 10 minutes worth of shopping and high-tail it out of the Midtown Plaza mall.

What’s my solace as I drive down Idylwyld, back to a job I don’t like, and that doesn’t like me? God damn Supertramp!!! Christ and bloody hell are we ever gonna stop playing this worn-out re-tread crap!?! This music was annoying twenty years ago, when they were playing it in the 80’s. Why in George’s name are we still being subjected to this piss-poor, deluge of liquefied excrement!?!

If its not Supertramp then we get Trooper. If its not Trooper then they play Rush. Failing that we might get that same god damn Eagles song we’ve heard 800 million times! It never ends.

They wonder why the radio format is dead, and people download music, play iPods in their cars, and burn custom CD’s. They play the same re-tread crap all the time!!! Its 2006 already! I don’t want to hear a Rush song from 1982. The damn Eagles might as well be dead. And Supertramp and Trooper were garbage when they had their first go around. I don’t wanna hear that crap on the radio!!! Play something new! Play something good. Hell, play something new AND good! Just don’t subject me to the same washed out, bland, corporate friendly, meal-ticket sheep-dip that we hear on the radio every damn day. If I NEVER hear Supertramp again, that would be just fine. Shoot Rush in the face. The sound of their brains on the wall would be better than the dreck they pretend is music. Trooper may be Canada’s party band, but not at any parties that people actually go to.

I just want something good, something real. I swear to heaven there must be some new bands out there, struggling to be heard. Let’s play them! Frankly I’d rather hear some crappy new song, from a group I’ve never heard of, then another bloody Supertramp medley of tripe songs that couldn’t get any more pathetic. Maybe New Band X will suck but at least it wouldn't be by repetition. Another chorus of ‘take it on the run baby’ is likely to make me hurl.

I was at the arena tonight, slinging beer to the uninterested. I made a few observations.

Chris seems to really enjoy the beverage gun

A Caesar, a drink I am sure tastes like the foulest swill on the planet, actually looks more appealing when the salt rim is correctly applied.

There are just some people that are patently stupid. There can be only one person standing, available to serve customers, and there is a group of idiots that will, beyond all sense of reason, still stand half the bar away to make their drink order.

People are slobs. When they are done with their current drink, rather than take the 10 steps to the garbage can, will just leave it on the bar. Sick!

Not for the faint of heart!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why don't they put potato on a pizza?

Congratulations Riders!

Did anyone else get the impression that Kenton Keith had made up his mind that he wasn't going to lose that football game?

I was watching college football this afternoon. Canadian college football. I know, this seems like a peculiar thing to do. When has Canadian college sports garnered any interest from the Canadian media.

Nevertheless, The Score was carrying a Western Ontario game, so I tuned it in. The game itself was unremarkable, but the coverage of it was even less. However, at least they had the game on TV, as opposed to playing some stupid-ass poker tournament. I know they had to fill the schedule with something when hockey went DOA but hasn't interest in poker disappeared now that hockey is back? Why is this shit still on TV?

But I digress . . .

All of this is leading up to a Blog Question Of The Day:

Do those of you that have graduated from a major Canadian college, care about the fate of your college's sports teams? Or is there as little interest from you as there is from our sports media in this country?

I am Spartacus Boy. I will be boycotting this moronic Borat movie. Who's with me?

P.S. 10 points to anyone that can name the reference

I want to take this opportunity to say a few words about baseball. I'm watching the World Series and I can help but be agitated by this annoying custom they have during the 7th inning stretch. I don't believe this is a custom for every game that gets played. Rather, I think they drag it out for the playoffs and I find that kind of offensive.

Why do we have to have 'God Bless America' sang during the 7th inning stretch? What about this occasion suggests that we have to have more overweening praise for the dominant country on the planet. Maybe God does bless America but I have a feeling that would go equally for any country on earth. Even Afghanistan or, god forbid, Iraq. Any kind hearted diety would not discriminate.

Oh, and another thing, as it pertains to tonight's game, and tonight's singer of the 'God Bless America'. If you're going to appear on national TV with the eyes of the world watching you, it would serve you well to go out the afternoon before and buy a decent pair of pants.

I've had enough!

I still and watch TV at night. And every night I'm subjected to the same damn thing. I'm sick of it. It has to go.

I'm referring to this Rogers Wireless commercial. The guy is with his buddies at a diner. He's on the phone with his girlfriend. And in a touching moment he goes to end the conversation and says 'I love you.' Then there is this awful, pregnant pause as he waits for her response.

GAG!!!

After going all mooshy in the knees, the girl replies that she loves him too. All of the tension in the overly dramatic pause is gone, and everyone is happy again.

Except me.

I hate this commercial so much. If the damn girl cared at all about the guy, she wouldn't pause for 2/3 of a standard 30 second commercial before answering her supposed 'love'. And damn Rogers for subjecting us to such overwrought hystrionics.

Bring on the beer commercials.

WoW Question Of The Day:

If you quit the game with the Sword of 1000 Truths in your inventory, does it cease to exist?

Things That Piss Me Off:

Do you know what pisses me off? These idiots that go to the gas station and can't figure out how to park at the pump. I go into my favorite gas station tonight, to put a few bucks worth in the tank to tide me through until the end of the week. The place is busy and there's one spot empty for me to fill at. I pull into position and why do I find?

This idiot has parked nearly perfectly between the two pumps, such that I can only barely get my handle to the back of my truck where the tank is.

I hate that! Park with some danm courtesy. Someone would like to use the pump behind your wide-load ass!!

Well, this is interesting!

I now have a pet. Its a cat. A little black one. She arrived on my doorstep courtesy of my sister. Actually, I was already familiar with this little kitty because she vacationed at my house the week my sister and her husband were in Mexico on their vacation. I guess she must have liked it here because she's come back.

Its a little tough to know right now what my new little buddy is thinking. Even though she spent the week here before, she's scooting around the house right now, checking things out. Hopefully she'll come out of her shell before long and we can play together.

Originally the cat's name was Simon. Then the original owner discovered it was not a male cat. Oops! But the name stuck. I have decided to alter it just a touch and re-christen the cat Simone. A girl cat should have a girl name.

I'm going to go back to chasing Simone and see if I can get a fix on how she's feeling. Everyone say HI to Simone!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Can someone please tell me why they are playing a Raisin Bran commercial from 1982 during tonight's Monday Night Football game!?!

Ladies and gentlemen,

of Edmonton Eskimo fan club of 2006,

I have one piece of advice for you.

No matter what Danny Maciocia tells you,

There will be no playoffs for you.

NONE!

Oh, there will be playoffs this year,

But just not for you.

You wanted to be invited,

But everyone said no.

There will be no playoffs for the Eskimos.

Things That Piss Me Off:



I developed a new goal for myself, starting this week. I want to get to work earlier. The point of this goal is, so I can take a full hour for lunch, and make my work-day a little more comfortable. To accomplish this goal I have to get up a little bit earlier in the morning, and be more efficient in getting ready. The hardest part of this plan is to get up the few minutes earlier it takes to achieve my goal.



I did everything right this morning. I was up the few minutes earlier. I was more efficient in completing my morning routine. I was out the door and ready to drive away almost perfectly in line with my goal. I even showed the foresight to begin warming the vehicle with the remote start feature.



But what betrayed my plan? What evil caused me to be late (according to my schedule)?



FROST



I hate frost! It drives me berserk. Especially on a morning like this. The whole plan is predicated on things happening on a set schedule. Needing 10 minutes to scrape the diamond hard frost off ALL of my windows was not in the plan. Now I can live with frost, if I know its going to be there. Usually frost is not that big of a deal. You scrape it off and away you go. But this morning, apparently because I was trying to follow a schedule, it had to be the hardest frost in the history of humanity. I had to lean into the scraper with the full weight of my considerable bulk, just to get this accursed coating off my windows. And each window seemed worse than the last. I was nearly foaming at the mouth by the time I got all the way around my truck.

Blog Question Of The Day 1:

Is there anything more annoying than getting food stuck in your teeth?


I was eating ribs for supper today. First of all, is it just me or does it seem like pork is the more commonly offending culprit for when you get food in your teeth? That and corn. I don't know why but I get corn stuck in my teeth from time to time.

Anyway, I'm eating this rib and you know how you can just tell when you've gotten food down between the teeth, and lodged in the gums? I had that feeling instantaneously. I knew this was going to be a floss moment.

I finish the meal, because why clean out when its likely to get plugged again? But I was no sooner finished and I went to floss. Now I just moved into my own domicile again about a month ago, so I can't be sure of where anything is, and if I have it, whether I'll find it. To my great surprise I have floss. So I use some.

I really didn't think it was possible to store that much food in one's mouth. I swear I pulled half my supper out from between those two teeth.



Blog Question Of THe Day 2:

Is there any feeling of relief more satisfying then flossing out your teeth when you know there's something in there?

My new favorite snack is Cheezies.

I just want to warn everyone. I have a NASTY cat infestation in my house! 8-D

My new specialty is making Chef Boyardee ravioli. I'm actually pretty good at it!

For the record . . .

I LOATHE the new Old Navy commercial with the dog on the clothesline.