Saturday, August 12, 2006

I think I would rather shoot myself in the abdomen than watch six back-to-back episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Monday, August 07, 2006

Blog Sports News:

Today in golf, at the Saskatoon Wildwood Open, Wayne Guenther completed the final round with a 78, for a three round total of 245, to win the 3rd flight by two shots.

When asked to comment he replied, 'I finally had a good round.'

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Aishwarya Rai is incredibly hot.
I'm just going to throw this out there. Maybe I'm right and maybe I'm wrong. But I have an idea for this whole Hezbollah-Israel crisis.

We take away their guns.

They can go ahead and have all the war they want. They can war it up until the end of time. But they can't shoot bombs or bullets at each other. They have to go at it, hand to hand. Or stick to stick, or rock to rock. They can kill each other to their hearts content, but they gotta look in the eye the guy they are killing.

I have a feeling that 99.9% of them will lose their nerve to make war when they gotta look another human being in the face before they smash a rock into it. Its pretty easy to play the 'big man' role when you order a rocket strike on people from 300 miles away. Its not quite so easy to kill a bunch of people when you have to do it, one by one, by knocking them in the head with a crooked stick.

If the rest of the world could all make a pact to not let these idiots in the Middle East have any guns, or bombs, or rockets or military hardware, maybe this thing could be put to some kind of rest. Of course we won't do that, because there's too much money and pride in continuing war. But its a nice idea.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Kylie Ireland has the BEST radio voice I have ever heard.
I have a question about sub sandwiches.

What the hell is the deal with all the lettuce!?!

I have never understood this. You go to any of the major sub sandwich places (Quiznos excluded because they run the sandwich through that crematorium for bread) and you get about half a pound of lettuce on your sandwich.

Why!?!

First of all, to the best of my knowledge, no one gets a sandwich for the lettuce.

'Hi, I'd like a chicken sandwich. Can I have extra lettuce and please, go light on the chicken.'

That just doesn't happen. Lettuce is a garnish, and a poor one at that. Does lettuce even have any kind of distinguishable taste? It seems more likely that the lettuce is there just to give the sandwich bulk and make you feel a little better about the $8 you're spending on a sub.

Given that its there just to provide bulk, do they have to go so ape with it? I bought a sub today and the guy couldn't wrap it properly because of the bushel of lettuce he put on the bun. I don't think I should have to say 'go light on the lettuce' when I order a sandwich. I like a little lettuce on my bread, because it makes it crunch, and like I said, I feel better about my $8. My god, when I need a special lifting apparatus, and specific structural support for my bun, because the lettuce is overflowing, I consider that a problem.

And that's my last complaint. You order a sub, they put a yard of lettuce on it, and when you go to eat it, 96% of the surplus lettuce falls out. So they slice up lettuce to put on my sandwich, only to have it fall out and eventually end up in the garbage. This is just wasteful. Plus I feel slightly morose about throwing away a pile of lettuce that's more copious than the grass clipping when I mow the 4 acres of yard at my old house. But I'm not going to eat the lettuce all by itself, because like I said earlier, lettuce has no distinguishable taste.

So, in conclusion, I would like to say, sub sub operators, knock it off with the lettuce. Let's bring the application of it back to reality.
World of Warcraft News

Ballzelf is a homo

Saturday, July 29, 2006

World Of Warcraft News

If someone in your party turns you into a bat, it does NOT grant you the power to fly.
World Of Warcraft News

Quote of the Night: 'One's down! Two's down! I'm down!!! WTF!?!'

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Signs of the Personal Apocalypse

You can begin to have a sense of finality about your descent into social insignificance when you click the 'Invite Friends' button on the social networking site MySpace and the website gives you an error and shuts down.
Lance Bass of N'Sync is gay.

This is about as surprising as the sun setting in the west.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

World of Warcraft News

Anyone that can decipher:

LF2M 4 UBRS!!!

is a homo
Things That Piss Me Off:

The City of Saskatoon and their parking meters have earned my wrath.

I had to go downtown today for a doctor's appointment. It is something I'm beginning to dread because it seems to cause me parking grief every time. I park near the office building I need, about 3/4 of a block down. I found a spot, which given my experience from yesterday, seems incredible.

Like a good citizen I put my dollar in the meter. Plunk, it goes. Nothing registers on the display. WTF!?! Maybe its broken. I put my quarter in. Plunk it goes, and up comes 0:15 on the display. WTF!?!

The damn machine ate my dollar. Now I can't put another dollar in, because I only brought just enough coin to plug one meter, for exactly as long as I planned to stay. So I'm effectively screwed. I have to walk away and accept that I'm getting a parking ticket.

Does this not seem wrong? I would like to complain to someone because I did put my dollar in, they are going to collect it, and I shouldn't have a ticket. Of course this is a complete waste of my time and I'll just pay the ticket and go on with my life. But doesn't something like this violate the law of karmic goodness or something?

Monday, July 24, 2006

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you could take in anything you wanted, or had anything delivered that you wanted, could you live for a week inside a bathroom stall?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

The management of the Saskatchewan Roughriders football team should be ashamed of themselves.

At the end of the first half of yesterday's football game, the quarterback for the Toronto Argonauts got absolutely rocked. He was hit so hard that his helmet flew off, and rolled five yards away. At the conclusion of the play, he lay on the field, unwilling to get up.

The quarter was over and the teams headed off to their dressing rooms for halftime. Toronto's quarterback, Spergon Wynn, did not accompany his teammates. He remained immobile on the turf. The training staff huddled around him, attempting to attend to his injury. A few people become a lot of people, as considerable concern was placed on what had happened to him.

Meanwhile, the half time show amassed on the field, ready to spring into action and perform their routine. Yesterday's event was supposed to be a couple of hundred little girls, who had attended a cheerleading camp, performing a choreographed sequence.

Now I get that this is perhaps the only chance these girls will ever have to appear on the field at a pro sports event. I appreciate this is a big deal for them. However, this Toronto player appeared to be seriously injured. Not broken leg and couldn't walk injured, but stretcher, back-board and ambulance injured. The Toronto quarterback was being treated as if he had a major injury.

After a brief pause, they let these little cheerleaders onto the field to do their dance. It was the most classless thing I have ever seen. Little girls and their Trailblazer captains, are running, and dancing on the field while this football player is being loaded onto a back-board, for transport on a stretcher. These girls are cavorting and playing around group of medical people, huddled over an immobile football player on the field. These stupid patterns they are trying to perform are disrupted by the ambulance that comes onto the field to pick up the injured football player. It was surreal in its lunacy how they would carry out the ultimately pointless half-time show, when a player had suffered what appeared to be potentially devasting injury.

I, for one, thought that continuing with the half-time show, when a Toronto player was down with a serious injury, was both disrespectful and inappropriate. Show some class and get the player off the field before you provide entertainment.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Blog Question Of The Day:

Can anyone explain to me who would be STUPID enough to fill out a mortgage application that came to you in an unsolicited email that linked to a Geocities webpage?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

World of Warcraft News

Anything Elite sucks.
I bought gas today.

Why aren't we rising up in protest about this? I spent $82 to fill my tank today. Granted it was almost empty but that kind of bill seems like a touch much. Isn't this the type of thing that other people around the world would riot about? Why is there no mass assemblage in the streets about how we are being systematically sodomized at the pumps?

I'd pay $1.159 a liter for gas if I was getting something for my money. If I knew I was going to drive on perfect roads, because I was paying this much for gas, then okay. I drive around this province and its damn near required that you have the ground clearance of a 4x4. If my tank was being filled with gasoline compiled half of ethanol, then I'd be okay with the price. If it was the cost of progress, and the move from a non-renewable, to a renewable resource then okay, I'll pay the luxury tax.

But one dollar and sixteen cents per LITER so some Arab, or Albertan producer, or worse and American processor, can get fat and lazy because he has a a precious commodity, that just sticks in my throat. Or more well said, I would like it to get stuck in my pocketbook. Canada is one of the world's leading producers of petroleum, and I still wait nine months for surgery, watch our military helicopters crash into the ocean, and pay more per capita for income tax than anyone short of Holland. And at least they have legal drugs and prostitution.

At $1.159 a liter, I want to know, what's in it for me?