Ladies and gentlemen,

of Edmonton Eskimo fan club of 2006,

I have one piece of advice for you.

No matter what Danny Maciocia tells you,

There will be no playoffs for you.

NONE!

Oh, there will be playoffs this year,

But just not for you.

You wanted to be invited,

But everyone said no.

There will be no playoffs for the Eskimos.

Things That Piss Me Off:



I developed a new goal for myself, starting this week. I want to get to work earlier. The point of this goal is, so I can take a full hour for lunch, and make my work-day a little more comfortable. To accomplish this goal I have to get up a little bit earlier in the morning, and be more efficient in getting ready. The hardest part of this plan is to get up the few minutes earlier it takes to achieve my goal.



I did everything right this morning. I was up the few minutes earlier. I was more efficient in completing my morning routine. I was out the door and ready to drive away almost perfectly in line with my goal. I even showed the foresight to begin warming the vehicle with the remote start feature.



But what betrayed my plan? What evil caused me to be late (according to my schedule)?



FROST



I hate frost! It drives me berserk. Especially on a morning like this. The whole plan is predicated on things happening on a set schedule. Needing 10 minutes to scrape the diamond hard frost off ALL of my windows was not in the plan. Now I can live with frost, if I know its going to be there. Usually frost is not that big of a deal. You scrape it off and away you go. But this morning, apparently because I was trying to follow a schedule, it had to be the hardest frost in the history of humanity. I had to lean into the scraper with the full weight of my considerable bulk, just to get this accursed coating off my windows. And each window seemed worse than the last. I was nearly foaming at the mouth by the time I got all the way around my truck.

Blog Question Of The Day 1:

Is there anything more annoying than getting food stuck in your teeth?


I was eating ribs for supper today. First of all, is it just me or does it seem like pork is the more commonly offending culprit for when you get food in your teeth? That and corn. I don't know why but I get corn stuck in my teeth from time to time.

Anyway, I'm eating this rib and you know how you can just tell when you've gotten food down between the teeth, and lodged in the gums? I had that feeling instantaneously. I knew this was going to be a floss moment.

I finish the meal, because why clean out when its likely to get plugged again? But I was no sooner finished and I went to floss. Now I just moved into my own domicile again about a month ago, so I can't be sure of where anything is, and if I have it, whether I'll find it. To my great surprise I have floss. So I use some.

I really didn't think it was possible to store that much food in one's mouth. I swear I pulled half my supper out from between those two teeth.



Blog Question Of THe Day 2:

Is there any feeling of relief more satisfying then flossing out your teeth when you know there's something in there?

My new favorite snack is Cheezies.

I just want to warn everyone. I have a NASTY cat infestation in my house! 8-D

My new specialty is making Chef Boyardee ravioli. I'm actually pretty good at it!

For the record . . .

I LOATHE the new Old Navy commercial with the dog on the clothesline.

Just so you know . . .

there is a HOT TUB in my backyard!!!

For whoever may read this, please come to my house for the weekend. There will be fun in the sun.

Toodles!

My new favorite show is . . .

'So Little Time'

For the record . . .

I have a surprisingly large amount of Cat-5 network cable.

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you're at the point of having sex with someone, how important is it that they be physically attractive?

If the end of a 4” circular pressure vessel, that was under a sustained pressure of 150 psi, were to break apart, the circular end cap would leave the vessel at 102 mph, and hit you with a force of 1885 lb.

Do you know what my favorite thing about MySpace is? Going to various people's sites and getting new song ideas.

MySpace Song Suggestion Of The Night:

30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill

I am going to say something that might not be the most popular comment I've ever made but nevertheless I think it needs saying.

It is not wise to have free and uncontrolled alcohol available at a staff social event when there are people at, or below, the legal drinking age.

What in the hell is the deal with catering companies? I really don't understand how they can be this dense.

I attended a lunch meeting today. Its a tele-conference, with half the people in Saskatoon and the other half in Regina. We are meeting in the offices of an engineering company so obviously we need to send out to a caterer for the meal.

Its pretty standard fare. We get pre-packaged soup and a tray of finger sandwiches. I didn't do a count but there must have been a dozen of those triangular finger sandwiches that you can finish in three bites. I'm pretty hungry since I didn't have any breakfast today. I reach for a sandwich and what do I find?

Mustard! MUSTARD!!! Every single, god damn sandwich has mustard on it. Trust me, I checked, it was on each one.

What the hell is the deal with that? Why do they all have to have mustard on them? I hate mustard. It tastes like wet dog feces. And because I'm so god awfully hungry I have to eat one. Somehow managed to block out the flavor of camel piss concentrated into paste form. But the sandwich was consumed for sustenance and not for enjoyment.

And further more, if they do have to put mustard on every sandwich, why do they have to apply it with a spackle trowel? I've seen the stucco finish on houses that weren't as applied as thick.

Thank god I had a decent supper tonight. Otherwise it'd be tough to hear the TV over my grumbling stomach.

I am developing the biggest crush on Dirty Marie.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Is $2.00 for a single, individually wrapped Pizza Pop a reasonable price?

Blog Question Of The Day:

If it had been up to you, would you have made Anakin Skywalker a Master when he was elevated to the Jedi Council?

There is something about World of Warcraft that I don't understand.

How can you make ONE steak out of TWO pieces of tiger meat?

I saw some Winnipeg Blue Bomber fans today at the Wal-Mart. There was about eight of them, although it never occurred to me to take a specific count. They had on jerseys and hats, and were drinking from Blue Bomber mugs. One of them was flying a huge Winnipeg Blue Bombers flag, the kind that you'd see on a large flagpole. The procession of them walking down the road at Wal-Mart made it look like a parade.

I had an overwhelming urge to roll down my window and shout,

"I SUPPORT YOUR GAY PRIDE!!!!!"