Did I miss a memo or something? If this is a sign that I'm getting old then honestly, I want someone to do the honorable thing and take me out behind the wood shed and put two behind my ear. I don't want to be at the point where the simple things are just going over my head.

I thought I was more or less current on the common lingo being used by your average, every-day person. But then, out of the blue, everyone started going 'FML' all the time. FML!?! FML!?!?! What the hell is FML!?!?! I am ashamed to admit it but i had to Google it to find out what the hell it meant!

So if anyone wants me to meet them out behind the wood shed, just send me a text message. Just don't ask me to bring the bullets.

The part that irritates me the most about tonight's little exchange is how blindingly damn obvious it was. This time of thing happens every day, to every one. We all get annoyed and we all move on. But when you see the hypocrisy, you just can't help but let it rile you.

I go to the bank. Somehow the Bank of Nova Scotia actually has customer friendly hours now. I take my cheques up there to cash. I've had some of them awhile, and my cousin had one even longer, but a cheque is a cheque, right? Hand it over and someone should cash it.

Apparently not, or so the stupid bitch on the other side of the counter was going to try and play. 'This cheque is stale' she tries to give me. Its older than six months so you can't cash it. I call bananas on that because its a soccer fees cheque and we haven't been playing that long for a cheque to go stale. I start to get into it with her, because really I don't need this kinda nonsense at the end of my day. There's no one else at the wickets at this time and another teller overhears. She politely, but reasonably firmly, corrects this miserable hag that I've gotten that her math is pathetically wrong and the cheque is still more than valid.

So we've cleared up that misnomer and we move on to the business of the day. Suddenly this sea hag notices my iron ring. Well now she's my best friend all of a sudden. We share something common (apparently her /whatever/ is also an engineer) so she has questions, and she interested in me, and wants to help. Where the hell was this three minutes ago when you wanted to screw me out of $136 because you can't count months without using your fingers!?!

I thought this was hilarious. Especially when she starts swearing at the end.

Red Bull

I would just like to take this opportunity to say that for the first time since Friday I don't really like I'm in pain. Yes, there is a bit of a twinge in the back of my head, from the remains of this headache but in the global scope of things, its minor.

And having been in rather excruciating pain this afternoon, to having mostly gotten rid of it now, I have to make note of how much pain plays a huge part in our lives. We fashion ourselves as tough, strong, can handle whatever the world dishes out people but when we're in pain it really slows us down. I can tell, as I sit here now, able to focus, able to do things, how much that headache was really wearing on me. I wish I could put a number on it but I really can't.

I was dull, thick-headed, and muddy all day. I was lethargic and unenthused. The snarling, whip-like tendrils of pain lashing at me from behind my right eye seemed like just another of the thousands of headaches I've had before. I would just ignore it like I have every one that has come previously. But it made me not want to do anything. It made me just want to lie down, in the dark, with a wet cloth around my head trying to numb the pain.

its now midnight and I'm going to go to bed, for my greater good. But for once in the very, very, very few instances I have shed a headache without going to sleep. And it has left me with a profound sense of how badly these things color my world, bring me down, and more or less ruin my enjoyment of life. I actually feed motivation right now, for the first time all weekend, and its midnight on Sunday.

Lord, do I hate summer.

I rush and I push to finish up a submission for someone that sent me an email last week. The closing line of the email was the usual, time is of the essence, and we're working hard to get this issue resolved quickly. I take this to heart. I fret and fuss about the fact that its dragging on and on and I haven't sent anything. Finally I get the numbers I need from my fabricator and then I spend a half an hour agonizing over the letter I send with the number, and the actual number. I stare at the number for awhile and try to decide, is this right?

Finally I send it off. 30 seconds later I get an email back.

"I am away until August 17"

I swore loudly! Why did I waste all this time trying to be quick about it if you're on vacation for the bloody week? Have a damn heart you clown and say, have it done by August 17, since I'm going to be away for the week. But no, he sends that utter nonsense about 'time is of the essence' blah, blah, blah. Time is of the essence but I'm gonna go sit on a boat and wipe my ass with your proposal. WAHAHAHAHA

Everyone's an butthole. Go plug yourself.

Complaint Number 2

Anyone wanna explain why the controls for iTunes, to which there does not appear to be a viable alternative on the Mac OS platform, have to be so infuriatingly hard to decipher if you want to do something beyond the obvious?

I really wish I didn't have this pathological need to understand. I wish I wasn't driven by this desire to grasp the forces that surround me. Maybe I could let something small like this go. But I can't, and its going to eat at me for the rest of the night.

I heard a good song on the radio today. Pure, hard rock, on Sirius Octane 20. (gag, gag)

Used - Blood On My Hands

Hey, that sounded great. I should download it. So I make a note of the title, come home, and do a search on the internet. What's 6 of the first 7 things that come up when I type in 'used blood on my hands'?

Miley Cyrus

Miley god damn Cyrus!!!

Is there no justice in the world? Can we not escape this foul urchin? Can a regular, ordinary, not interested in her hellacious, demon spawn guy not pursue his bland, inoffensive interests without being inundated by this pest? Go away Miley you beast!! Christ, I was reading a damn Giant Tiger flyer at lunch today and they had this trollop's visage plastered on tramp-wear for 11 year old's. I kid you not, it looked like slut-gear for the pre-teen set. Why can't little girl's wear rainbow's and starfish? Why does this Miley Cyrus jackass have to be plastered all over everything?

And why does she have to interrupt my search for the pure, hard rock? Go away you demon-spawn! I want nothing of your fashion shoot, or your music video. I might want your blood on my hands, but for tonight I'll settle for just the pure, hard rock of the Used rock song.

One more thing . . .

I don't know how many of you listen to satellte radio but I have a complaint. I like listening to Octane because I favor the musical selection.

However . . .

Can you PLEASE knock if off with the 'pure, hard, rock'? I mean Christ! Every second bloody phrase is 'pure, hard, rock'. I get it already, but let me tell you something. Its annoying!!! I hate the phrase. It drives me up the wall. Think of something else! You can keep using it, but spread it around. Try some other catch phrases. I like some diversity. If I hear 'pure, hard, rock' one more time I think I might impale my brain with a pencil.

In conclusion, 'pure, hard, rock' = pencil impalement


Thank you and good night

I can't help but feel melancholy tonight.

The ball hockey season has come to a close. We laid it all on the line in the final game but it just wasn't enough. No one could ever question our heart or our determination because on those counts we had plenty. But in the final analysis we simply did not have enough team skill to beat a more cohesive team. Where they could pass stick to stick, we would miss one another and would have to chase it off the boards. In the the offensive zone they would cycle it and take a point shot. We would scramble in the corner and maybe jam away at something right in front of the goal. We weren't clean, and it simply wasn't enough.

But that's not why I'm blue. I am sad because I was playing on a great team. We didn't win a lot of games but from my perspective we had a lot of fun. The team got along great, and there was good participation. The roster was 16 players and we always had 10+ for every game. Looking around the league at other teams that was pretty damn good. It was the same group of guys that came out for every game, and even though we were on the short end of most games, we still cared. Every time. They are a great bunch of guys.

I am sad because who knows what the future may bring. There are rumors of a fall league, and I am hopeful that this will prove true. I had an amazing amount of fun playing ball hockey. Even more than I could have hoped for, when I signed up for it on a whim. It would be great if the core of the same team stuck together, and we played another season. That would be amazing. But you can never tell what the future will bring. And uncertainty breeds my melancholy.

To be continued . . .

I just can't bring myself to feel bad about that game. I can bring myself to feel bad about my performance. There is a quality of lacklustre to how I am moving out there. But my team really put it on the line tonight. We threw our hearts and our souls into that game. If you wanted to base winning and losing on effort, then we win that game in a walk.

The effort was definitely there. Sometimes we sleep-walk through a game. I won't say we mail in a performance, but there have been games where our output has not matched that which was required. But that couldn't be said tonight. It was a playoff game and to a man, everyone came out to play. Our bench was a little short, but everyone played as much of a shift as they could manage. Don't get me wrong. At points guys were tired. They were walking the floor and the bodies were hurting. But when the ball came into their area, they hustled for it. When they had a chance to make a play, they tried to make a play. Not every attempt turned into a great play, but everyone tried. Every chance was chased down. Every ball was swung at. It was great to see.

We just didn't get a break. The other team, which didn't appear to resemble the team we've played four times before, was faster and stronger and more precise than us. But for all their apparent greater skill, we out hustled them. The benches on both sides were short, but when the players got tired, we still out ran them to the ball. When plays broke down in the middle, we were stealing the ball and making breaks out of it. They would get shots by setting up and cycling it around us in our end. Using precision to out-maneuver us. But when it came down to one-on-one effort, we out-shone them every time. It was pretty impressive to see.

The disappointing thing is we had to lose. I think it disheartened my team mates. We tried so hard and in the end our lack of cohesion as a team got the better of us. We were tired, and we were out manned, and we made a few rookie mistakes, that a group of guys that were used to playing with one another wouldn't make. But we're a pick-up team, and not used to playing together, and from time to time we make goofy mistakes. I made one myself tonight that cost us a goal. I ran back on defense when they had a break and got caught up defending a guy in front of our goal. Well I'm actually a winger tonight and my responsibility is to cover the point. So when I stick to the guy I shadow running back on the breakaway, I end up out of position when they set up in our end. Pass back to the point, goal for them. That's my fault.

The goal that ultimately cost us the game was the same sort of thing. We had it behind the net. Our guy is blocked to the left. He's blocked to the right. He wants to flip it high down the middle but doesn't get under it. Ends up on the stick of the opposition, right in the slot. Bang its in the net, and there's only 3 minutes of game to go. He feels awful but its just a rookie mistake that we make every game. It feels awful because we've been giving our hearts all game long.

We have another game tomorrow and this is the sudden death match. We have to win or our season is over. So if you read this, and its not 6 o'clock on August 4, 2009, come out to the Henk Ruys soccer centre in Saskatoon. We could use your support.

Go Shockers!!

I know this is against the law, wildly inappropriate, and not acceptable among any civilized society but, its reached the point where I simply can NOT take it anymore.

I am going to kill the Wrapman.

STRIKE TWO AND A HALF!!!

I am currently very pissed off at Extra Foods.

If you don't have something then just say, you don't have something. Please don't lie to me like I'm an idiot. I just wasted half an hour wandering around Extra Foods looking Shake'n'Bake. I figured, they've got to have this. Right? Right!?!

They don't.

Of course I had to go throug the painful ordeal to discover this truth. Finally I give up and ask someone who works there. Aisle 4 he tells me. Well, I spent 10 solid minutes scouring ever square inch of Aisle 4 and there ain't no god damn Shake'n'Bake in Aisle 4. I can guarantee you of that.

Finally it abject depression and defeat I just left Extra Foods in complete disgust. I couldn't take it anymore. I drove to Safeway. Inside of 15 seconds of entering the door I'd found the bloody Shake'n'Bake. It was RIGHT where it should have been. Right where I'd spent 20 minutes looks in Extra Foods. Where it hadn't been there.

Piss on you Extra Foods. May you rot in hell.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I be on Twitter?

I am almost certain that the modern, fast food restaurant French Fry has been specifically engineered so that, if you decide that you want your meal 'to go' that no matter how short the trip from the building, the French Fry will be cold.

Guaranteed.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I make a Mocking The Cat web site?

Update:

For those of you that have chided me for not enabling comments on my blog, its finally done.

All of you (and you know who you are) owe me a cookie because it required that I edit HTML code, and that's far less than my favorite thing to do in the world.

Things That Piss Me Off:

Why does Blogger insist that I have enabled Comments on my blog, but when I check any/all of my posts, there is no comments section enabled?

Then, to compound the fiasco, when I try to use the help on the Blogger website to figure out why its not working, half the pages I click links to, return saying the page doesn't exist!

So I go to a strip mall in Regina, where a Mr. Sub shares a parking lot with, among other things, a medical clinic. There's a sign in the parking that that says:

"30 Minute Customer and Patient Parking"

Now who's been able to go to a walk-in medical clinic lately and only have to stay 30 minutes? Is that even possible? It seems like the default wait is like 2 hours now. I think they make you sit for the first hour, just to test your resolve. If you stay that long, then you go on a list and they call a doctor in from the golf course, or wherever the hell they hang out when they're not in the back seeing patients like they should be.

I'm not exactly sure what to think about this:

Washing Machine Emulator

Blog Question Of The Day:

Can someone explain to me why I am so vehement about the lake being stupid?