Oops. I did it again.

Will Sidney Crosby be traded at the NHL deadline?

Stay tuned for further details . . .

Bloq Question Of The Day:

What would happen if you dissolved sugar into diet Coke?

So I did it.

I looked it up on the internet and it said that a regular Coke has 45 g of sugar in it. That didn’t sound like a horrifying number to me, but the web site I got it from seemed to think a person should fall down dying it.

Strange though, when I went to mix up the liquid. I figured that it would be best if I poured a liquid into a liquid, rather than try to dissolve sugar cubes into a cold Diet Coke. I did some math and a sugar cube is about 3.5 g each. So when you do the math, if you want 50 g in the solution, you need to dissolve 15 cubes. That’s a lot of sugar cubes!

I’m sure everyone knows that it’s easier to dissolve things with hot water, so I got 100 mL from the on-demand coffee maker thing we have here. Poured all the water into a pitcher (I used a graduated cylinder to measure the 100 mL) and then dumped in 15 sugar cubes. I was a little dubious about whether this was going to work because just sitting there, I didn’t see a lot of dissolving going on. But the internet said you could actually get 211 g into 100 mL of water, so I had some faith and starting swirling it around. Imagine my surprise when all the cubes disappeared!

Alright, I had 100 mL of sugar water, and I had a Diet Coke. I took a sample taste of each one, just for comparison reasons, and mixed them together. I tried my mixture. The warm sugar water made the mixture less than fridge cold, so I added a couple of ice cubes to make a tasty drink.

Honestly, it didn’t taste fully like a Coke, but it didn’t taste like Diet Coke anymore either. It was definitely not diet anymore. That metallic-like after-taste is completely gone. However, regular Coke tastes a bit syrupy and that element was missing from my concoction. It tastes like a less syrupy than usual Coke. I like it!

After less than exhaustive testing, I have decided that I prefer my orange drink un-carbonated.

I think its time to get serious about my plan to not be old anymore.

I remember seeing this:

Snowjob 96

After a day and a half of non-stop Metallica, from their album Death Magnetic, I have decided that my favorite song from the album is:

Metallica - All Nightmare Long

Now, I am become Grant, the destroyer of toilets.

Thus begins the tale of my red mittens . . .

I got an email from The Hudson Bay Company last week. I don't remember the exact text anymore but it was something to the effect of:

"Support your Olympic athletes! Go to Zellers and buy a pair of red Olympic mittens! Now only $10!"

It seemed like a good pitch to me. I like to be patriotic, Zellers is close to my house and $10 seemed like a good deal for mittens. I wasn't entirely convinced however so I thought I'd better consult my sister.

She said it was a good idea.

Thus began my quest for red mittens.

The weekend didn't go so well, with a headache crippling me on Saturday, and my Sunday consumed by a massive drafting project, and then the Super Bowl in the late afternoon to evening. Suffice it to say, there was no time for red mittens.

So Monday was my first real attempt to acquire my prized possession, the Olympic red mittens. However Monday did not follow my original plan either. When I left for work my windshield wiper went flying off. I needed a replacement, which had to come from Costco (accursed place) so it would match the one that stayed on. Long story short, I didn't drive for home until 6:00.

Unbeknownst to me, but apparently knownst to Zellers employees, the store now closes at 6:00 on Monday's and Tuesday's. Who's idea was that, and why wasn't I notified? Regardless of the specifics of the decision, the Olympic gear was on the north side of the door, and i was on the south, and a lock was preventing one from meeting the other.

So the goal of acquiring red Olympic mittens was delayed yet another day.

I knew what I was up against so I left work at 5:00 today, so I'd have ample time to shop for my mittens. I even got a good parking spot in front of Zellers so the walk through the wind chill was minor. The doors opened before me, and within seconds I was in the Olympic apparel section of Zellers, which was conveniently right in front of the door.

What was not conveniently in the Olympic apparel section of the Lawson Heights Zellers were any god damn red Olympic mittens! So a quest that had been consuming me for 5 days will continue on further. I am left with only one question.

Where can I find some red Olympic mittens!?!

This is an honest, from the heart statement I am about to make. Even though I'm sure it will sound like a joke. (something for which this blog is well renowned)

If anyone can get a message to Erin Carmody of Team PEI, please tell her that I am willing to marry her, despite having never met in person.

However, its disappointing when later she says:

Its gotta be full eight.

I love it when a woman screams:

Hurry Hard!!! Its a tight hole!!

The official music video for the song "Snuff" by Slipknot sucks HARD.

A few reflections on humanity after visiting Xel'Ha today:

Its really no wonder that the rest of the world has little use for white people. We are, in the greater preponderance of numbers, a race of: fat, stupid, lazy, ignorant bastards who will ignore nearly every rule and cultural nicety, and generally take a big dump on something that is pure, and beautiful.

If you are at ALL uncertain about whether you should be wearing a thong/bikini can you PLEASE ask someone who's opinion you value and trust about wearing it in public, before going out? I think I almost went blind seeing that.

And this one goes out to the particularly vain white women out there:
If you really think that breast implants are going to significantly enhance your appearance, can you at least have the common, god damn decency to wear a bikini that hides the bloody scars from surgery!?!

For Sale:

One iPod 64 GB edition

cheap

iTunes is a dirty, ditch licking whore.

My afternoon was crashing and burning but this totally brightened things up!!!

Vajazzling

Now these guys are hardcore!!

Hardcore Gamers

I have an idea . . .

Why don't we stop in the narrowest part of the upper concourse, where the width available is approximately 6 feet, and it has the happy coincidence of being right in front of the elevator? Why don't we just stop and have a completely banal conversation about absolutely NOTHING!!!!

Doesn't that sound like a good, god damn idea!?!

So I go to bed tonight, feeling rather sleepy. I've got absent thoughts on my mind but nothing of much consequence. I look at the clock when I decide its time to retire and it spoke back to me that it was 12:48 AM. That seems like a reasonable time to call it a night.

So I'm lying in bed, just thinking casual thoughts. To think of anything more than that would just keep me awake, and that is not my goal on this evening.

But I keep hearing this sound. And I'm not going to pretend that it sounded like anything else. It sounded like someone's boot crunching in the show.

At one point I hear this loud thump, and it really seems like the foundations of my house have been rumbled, by something strong, and deep and powerful. One of those moments like when a garbage truck rumbles down the street, or a snow plow pushes a big load of snow into a pile formed on something hard and concrete.

This sound just keeps going on and on. A few crunches of snow, or so it seems and then silence again. Crunch, crunch, crunch and then nothing. In my paranoia and my anxiety I become convinced that someone is stumbling around the front of my house, trying to decide the best way to break in.

Do I get up and put my fears to rest? Do I dismiss the thoughts as foolish and try to get to sleep?

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Finally I can no longer take it. Plus I had to go to the bathroom now. I get up. I go downstairs to the living room window and look for this snow crunching assailant that has ruined my night's sleep.

The time on the clock at my disposal reads a cool, crisp 1:21 AM. At first I see nothing, but that's because I'm looking in the bushes in front of my house, and there was never anyone there.

No, what has kept me up for going on towards 45 minutes now, is some ASSHOLE shovelling his bloody, god damn driveway at 1:30 in the blasted morning!!!

As I was driving away from the arena tonight, after Team Canada beat the Americans in over-time, and we all busted our asses to serve the crowd, I realized how I could have made a boat load of money.

There were 15,000+ people in that building tonight. Nearly all of them will have gotten to the game in a car. Those cars were spread across probably 100 acres, with temporary lots dotting the landscape all around.

As I was sitting, waiting for my frozen thunder-truck to reach some semblance of heated, I took note of the outside air temperature. It was being reported to me as -31 C.

I bet I could have sold rides to people's cars, in a warm cab, for $20 per trip easily.