So what's the deal with the way people set to hit in slo-pitch? You'd think we were 7 million dollar a year outfielders for the Chicago Cubs. I'm sitting on the bench and I'm watching our opponents toe into the batter's box like Barry Bonds on a steroid bender.

Exactly what do these people think they are accomplishing when they grind into the dirt like that? Its the first inning and the diamond is groomed, and nice looking. Unlike what has become our usual field, this one we were on tonight looks unspoiled and flat. Then Joe Slo-Pitch digs into the batter's box and suddenly the shale is flying like we're on a mine site. I watch in horror as this (as it turns out) weak hitter, digs into the batter's box like he's strip mining for coal. I hope he found some because that tepid grounder he hit to third base isn't gonna win him any guaranteed contracts with the Cardinals.

By the time I get to hit in the third inning, the hole on the right side of the home plate is yawning open like a crater after a meteor strike. It dismays me that in three short innings, we've taken a well groomed batter's box, and turned into an ecological disaster typically reserved for strip mines of the 1950's. I go up to bat and the strike zone is the ground to my shoulders, because of the hole my knees are flush with the plate.

Why can't we all just go up there, step into the box, and take a cut at the ball? No one is going to the major's from the D League of Saskatoon slo-pitch.