Okay, this needs to be said. It needs to be said because not saying it would be doing a dis-service to truth, justice and the honesty of modern society.

Going to the lake is retarded.

Why would anyone do this? Its just stupid. You are purposely, and with considered intent, giving up the conveniences of modern, and civilized living, to eke out an existence like they did 150 years ago, when they didn't have the privileges that we have now. Why is is this a good idea? Why!?!

1) Why would you give up flush toilets? Especially the privilege of your own flush toilet, that you don't have to share, won't stink of someone else's ass, and doesn't bear the imminent possibility of hepatitis?
2) Can you explain to me the allure of cold showers? How is this an appealing idea?
3) Sleeping outdoors is a good idea? Ummm, why?
4) Let's store all our food for a weekend (or longer) with only the most rudimentary of chilling technology, during the most arduous heat of our Canadian climate. That sounds like a great way (not) to avoid a stomach bacteriological infection.
5) And what the hell are you supposed to DO out there in the woods? Great, I've packed up 900 pounds worth of stuff into the back of a Nissan Versa and I drove into the northern Prince Albert forest. I set up my trailer, built a camp fire, now I'm staring across the flames at a bunch of people that also don't know what the hell we're supposed to do. What's the god damn point of this!?!
6) And another thing - do you realize you're getting completely ripped off on those 'campers' that you're all so proud of? The damn thing is balsa wood and tin. Its cheap crap and they charge you grotesque prices for them. If I hear one more person preen on about the luxuriousness of their shit-box camper I think I'm going to reflexively vomit on them.

In closing I would greatly appreciate if if you could all keep your fawning appreciation for the fiasco that is 'going to the lake' to an absolute minimum from now on. As anyone that has seen the ocean knows, going to the lake is a piss-poor substitute for the real thing. After seeing the ocean, taking a look at a little puddle of mud and algae in the middle of Saskatchewan fails to excite the senses anymore.