You know, I try to suffer people with a smile. Even though on a regular basis they frustrate and annoy me. But there are times when no amount of gentle patience will make you ignore someone's idiocy.

This pinhead (and I use the word accurately) comes up to the bar tonight and wants a double rye. I don't phrase this as, asks for a double rye, he all but demanded it. We are not allowed to serve doubles. Its in the liquor license for the building. The actual text of the statement is something like, drinks must not contain more than 5% by volume. Even the biggest of lunkheads should be able to do the math that a 40% by volume rye whiskey needs to be diluted with something to make it a 5% alcoholic drink.

Of course this jackass is completely self-absorbed and won't see his way clear to understand the rules. He's an alcoholic idiot and wants a double shot of rye with nothing to get in the way of his liver being shriveled to something resembling a prune. He wants what he wants and we're supposed to accomodate him, despite the rules.

My first question is, if you're this much of a drunkard, why not stay home and drink the damn Jack Daniels straight from the bottle, like any other reasonable person might drink a Gatorade? If your life is so predicated on the consumption of alcohol in extreme volumes, then please do us a favor and lock yourself in and get the death by alcohol finished. Spare us the abrasiveness of your panting fury for alcohol.

What I can't grasp, and will probably struggle with until the day I die, is how you can behave as if the rules don't apply to you. The principle of the 'mixed drink' was plainly explained to him, including the percent by volume. Still he persisted in the absurd rationale that we should ignore the 'rules' because he wanted a pair of double whiskeys. Why!?! How come this was so damnably important to him? Why couldn't he drink a drink like a normal person.

And this happens all the time. Its not contained to this one, specific incident. Lots of people come up and immediately ask for a double. These individuals too, are habitual drunks that should really look into their behaviour before much longer passes. However the majority of people that ask for a double will acquiesce and accept the two singles in compensation. But every once in awhile a belligerent idiot will come along and insist that he should be granted a double shot of alcohol in a single cup. And this insistence will persist beyond all reason. I don't get it and I doubt I will ever understand.

P.S. And for the record, the concert sucked ass.

Can someone please explain to me how, when given every opportunity, a normal, rational human being can walk into a 6 foot replica of a beer bottle?

Hockey Report

3 goals - 0 assists

Plenty of good shots in the first half of the game but no goals. I was fairly disappointed that I couldn't get one in until the second half of the game.

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you're already a blonde, do you ever bleach your hair to make it even more blonde?

For the first time ever I have to say:

My driveway needs to be blown more than I do.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Do you think that all the toothbrush innovations that have come about recently, and have seen airtime as commercials are as revolutionary as they suggest that they are?

Blog Question Of The Day:

If the 6-disc CD changer could only hold 6 discs, that couldn't be changed, for the rest of your life, what 6 would you pick? (and you're not allowed to pick homemade compilations)

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why does the A&W have, what looks like, a satellite dish on its roof?

We're going to start a new feature on my blog. It will be called:

The Hockey Report

In hockey news today, I had two goals and two assists. Both were in the second half of today's hockey game. My second goal was especially good as I wired the shot in from the right face-off circle.

In summation:

2 goals - 2 assists

Is there anything better than a USC cheerleader?

Mini Pop Kids should not sing sexually suggestive pop songs.

Man its depressing when you realize that something you started, and used to really like, has gone withered and sad with age.

I tried to price a computer for someone tonight. I was $800 for something that was really pretty basic. Meanwhile the Dell ads on TV promise to sell you a computer for $400. That's a huge gap.

It makes me want to give up. I used to like selling computers but how do you compare against that? I guess you just get out of the, low budget, computer market. We can still do alright on the power systems, where the person being quoted wants brand name parts. But the era of selling a computer to anyone appears to be over.

This makes me sad. Maybe it shouldn't but it does. I hate having to reflect on my existence.

If you need me I'll be in the corner, staring at the dot on the ceiling.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why do so many of the new rap songs sound like they sampled a damn nursery rhyme!?!

I'm watching PunchMuch, like I do quite often these days. Its actually a good place to leave the TV if you don't know what else to watch. You get to hear popular music and I find its a good way to learn what I should download for my MP3 collection.

I'm watching this channel and one of the songs to come up is:

Jojo - How To Touch A Girl

Sounds kind of pornographic, does it? It certainly seems more graphic than you'd expect to get from your average teen starlet chanteuse. Unless its Christina Aguilera.

Turns out its not as salacious as it seems. The gist of it is, she suggests that you do all the 'nice guy' things if you want to 'touch' a girl. Nice advice but frankly, I've never found it that successful. In truth, the audacious approach of actually attempting to 'touch' the girl seems more successful, on the balance of probabilities.

I gues that's what I get for taking advice from a 16 year old girl's song.

Blog Song Of The Day:

My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words

Blog Question Of The Day:

Has anyone else noticed the almost palpable LACK of Christmas music this year? Its almost like they're afraid to play Jingle Bells for fear we'll revolt.

Things That Piss Me Off:

I was driving home today and they played an ad for the radio station. I was listening to ROCK 102 FM and they professed to have the world's largest ROCK library. They made sure to mention this several times during the 30 second spot.

Afterwards they cut to the music. They played Supertramp.

AARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

I just don't understand people. They make no sense. I'm back to the grocery store thing. I know, you're probably tired of my grocery store observations but I have another one.

I pull into the lot, drive past the front doors and turn down one of the aisles. I see a spot and I grab it, although there was another one that could be argued was better. I walk towards the door and I notice this white car that I'd passed on the way past the front doors.

This idiot was cruising exactly two of the multiple aisles in front of the grocery store. They just HAD to park in the aisles directly in front of the door.

What is this madness? I drove a couple of aisles passed the front door, and found a spot three stalls from the fire lane. This moron was obviously surfing the major two aisles for open stalls and finding none.

Here's a tip. Drive to the store. Pick ANY aisle. Find a spot. Park and walk to the grocery store. Its really not that far.

In the universe of Jay & Silent Bob, characters created by Kevin Smith, there is a fast food restaurant called Mooby's. It is featured prominently in the movie 'Clerks II'.

Referencing this movie, I have to ask:

What the HELL is a Cow Tipper?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Are polar bears vicious?