And . . .

For all of you that will read my story and ask, but what about the fries . . . Yes, I did turn off the oven and take them out.

So I locked myself out of my house this evening . . .

I came home just before 6:00 tonight. That's something that seems to have become kind of standard. The weather is nice, I dart out just before six so I can get a steak from the meat store. That's what happened today. I drove home all excited about the meal I was going to make for myself. Came in as usual, locking the door behind me. Threw my stuff down, turned the oven on for the fries, and went out the back door to start the barbeque. As is my habit, I closed the door behind me.

And that was my critical mistake.

Turns out that when I turned the knob and pushed, to go outside, I engaged the locking mechanism of the door knob. When I turned around to come in, to my surprise, and more to my dismay, the door was locked. And that was pretty much that. I tried the front door but I knew the result that was going to have. I'm obsessive about the front door, so obviously it was going to be locked.

Which brings us to my sock footed walk across town. What choice did I have? Everything I own was locked away on me. Truck had everything locked in, and now so did the house. My only recourse was to walk across town in my socks. Which didn't bother me as much as you might think, because the socks I was wearing are in horrible shape. I have tender feet though, so not all the surfaces I came across were easy on my sensitive soles.

So that is my shame. Feel free to laugh at me, because I truly deserve it. And don't think my heart wasn't in my throat when I bent down to turn of the propane, and my knee nudged the door fully closed again.

Quick Stop Menu Recommendations:

To those of you out there, taking notice of my continued support of Watson, Sask.'s 'Quick Stop' Diner, I have a new menu item for you to consider. I can personally vouch for:

BBQ Beef sub sandwich

This is my big complaint about the cooking and eating for yourself cycle.

When its just one person doing the eating, it never takes anywhere close to as long to eat it, as you have to waste making it. And that's even when you do something simple, like eat the leftovers from some other meal, conveniently saved in the freezer.

There is this horrible, sick muted feeling, as the food disappears in about 3 to 5 minutes. And then its gone and you realize that's about as good as its going to get, for sensory pleasures, for that night. All that is left is to deposit the used dishes in the sink, and sigh mournfully as you return, again, to your lonely perch a top whatever piece of furniture you prefer, in your empty, lifeless living room.

Does anyone know why I think girls with a ponytail are so sexy?

Blog Question Of The Day:

How do I write an Excel formula that uses IF-THEN logic?

The Premier of Manitoba is an idiot.

Reports indicate that he actually ENJOYED the place we shall not name.

G&M Word Of The Day:

boo

After some careful consideration I have decided that there is little to recommend about today.

Please cross today out of your calendar.

I am now prepared to offer a cash bounty for the safe return of the following software, of which my copy has become wayward:

Microsoft Office 1997 Professional Edition
Microsoft Office XP Professional Edition

It is my contention that Avril Lavigne is the hardest rocking girl in popular music at this time.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Is there anything more boring that Windows Update-ing Windows 2005 in the month of April, of the year 2005?

I've decided what is my biggest bone of contention with video games.

You can't play them in a window

Its 10 years now we've been sold down this windowed world view to computing. And down this road we have not reached my holy grail of computing. I want to do more than one thing at a time. My favorite games are the ones that aren't knuckle biting action the whole time. I like a lazy game. Explore a gentle world to solve a puzzle. Quietly establish my own little world, with my eyes the ones of God. Set up my little civilization to co-exist peacefully with computer generated rulers. These games exist, but the means to play them does not. We can have dual-core CPU's, displays that can number into double digits, but a good game still monopolizes your display.

Why does it have to be this way?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Seeing as how the greedy bastards that comprise the modern NHL have denied us the annual rite of passage into summermthat is the NHL playoffs, should I switch my allegiance to the NBA playoffs, which tend to last the same length of time?

It is my prediction that the next Kelly Clarkson single will be:

Behind These Hazel Eyes

G&M Word Of The Day:

good grief

I need to get something off my chest.

What's wrong with people? And this is primarily a shot at old people, as they are the ones that are most prone to this behaviour. You go to a fast food establishment, or for that matter, any location that serves its product in a fashion designed for speed. The whole menu is laid out for you, to peruse as you stand in the ever present line.

In my experience there are two types of situations you are likely to encounter in a place lie, for example, McDonalds. Condition A is, its an off-peak time, and you don't have to wait in line. But conversely, the counter staff are not being pressed to be quick, because there is no one else. Thus you have a few moments to examine the choices, and then make a selection. Condition B is, its a rush time, and every till has a line of people. Again, you have time to examine the posted menu, and make a selection.

So why is it then that you can get to the front of the line and either a) not know what you want or b) tell them you don't care, and you'll take whatever.

Condition (b) drives me right up the wall. The god damn menu is right up there for you to see. You had time to look it over. There's no mysteries hidden in it. You've probably been here 100 times before. Just pick something!!! The poor girl at the till doesn't know what you want. Her job is to take your order, place your order, and then deliver the food. All at a premium of time. Consulting with you about your beverage choice is not up to her. Just pick one from the list, tell her, and she'll get it for you. You screw up her whole procedure if she's gotta tell you the merits of all the choices, only to have you come back with, 'oh, I'll just take whatever is easy'

ALL THE CHOICES ARE EASY FOR HER!!! JUST PICK SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!!!

I will never understand humanity. And my frequent attempts to do so serve only to elevate my blood pressure. If you need me, I'll be the guy in the clock tower with his gun oil and a wet rag.

For the record . . . migraines suck

Blog Survey Of The Day:

What are the top three usages you have for your computer?

Spring has begun.

It may yet to aborted by a late season snow storm, but make no mistake, the beginnings of spring have taken root in this place of the world. My nose is twitching, and I can feel the burn in my nose that says pollen in the air.

Enjoy what promises to be an exhilarating part of the year!