This clip is just vicious. I love it!
Closer
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
It's finally official. I am pissed off enough about this that I'm going to write about it.
Why does everyone ignore me? I don't get it. Perhaps I'm missing some critical aspect of my own behaviour or attitude. Someone is going to have to answer that for me, because from my perspective I'm not doing anything that justifies this behaviour.
There are numerous examples, most of which I'm going to leave out so as to not make this post about any one person. But the infuriating pattern keeps happening and I've about reached my limit with it.
The hard part about reaching your limit with people ignoring you, is that your alternative is to just ignore them. Its a piss-poor option because, if people ignoring you is pissing you off, then obviously you want their attention and ignoring them is a lousy direction to take.
Why am I being ignored? This is the answerless question that haunts me at night when I should be sleeping. What am I doing that makes it so difficult to:
- answer my email
- return my phone call
- leave a salutation when you cease the conversation
All of these things have occurred, and to my extreme exasperation, have been especially prevalent this week.
You send out an email, which specifically requests a response, and the reply is complete, stone-dead silence. Nothing. Not even a 'no thank you'. Just flat up ignore.
You call someone, again specifically requesting a response, and the result is unnerving dead air. I actually asked for a service, and wanted to compensate, and again it was just another pattern of not being worthy of even a, I'm too busy. Why?
And my personal favourite is querying someone about an issue, and leaving a statement out there to be answered, and that's just the end of the discourse. Not an, I don't know. Not a, no thanks. Not even a, have a good day. Just empty, pregnant silence.
Maybe I'm just an enormous prick. I don't think it would be a stretch to think I might be a tad on the needy side. But why is the pattern repeated that I just get nothing back for my effort? Am I just disliked that much that everyone prefers to walk away over having something to do with me?
This is an effort in self discovery for me. I want to understand why I'm not reaching my goals in life. I'm not a terribly social person. I have identified this as a limitation. But constantly having my attempts to engage people, and being met with the stone wall, is not teaching me anything. In fact its making me ragingly angry and on the verge of becoming a militant asshole to everyone. If you thought I was a prick now, you should see what I could do if I'm committed.
I guess, at the end of the this, I'm asking for advice. Being ignored does not feel very good and I'd like it to stop. But clearly I'm exhibiting some kind of personality flaw that makes it easier for people to walk away than to say good bye. So what is it? Enlighten me!
Why does everyone ignore me? I don't get it. Perhaps I'm missing some critical aspect of my own behaviour or attitude. Someone is going to have to answer that for me, because from my perspective I'm not doing anything that justifies this behaviour.
There are numerous examples, most of which I'm going to leave out so as to not make this post about any one person. But the infuriating pattern keeps happening and I've about reached my limit with it.
The hard part about reaching your limit with people ignoring you, is that your alternative is to just ignore them. Its a piss-poor option because, if people ignoring you is pissing you off, then obviously you want their attention and ignoring them is a lousy direction to take.
Why am I being ignored? This is the answerless question that haunts me at night when I should be sleeping. What am I doing that makes it so difficult to:
- answer my email
- return my phone call
- leave a salutation when you cease the conversation
All of these things have occurred, and to my extreme exasperation, have been especially prevalent this week.
You send out an email, which specifically requests a response, and the reply is complete, stone-dead silence. Nothing. Not even a 'no thank you'. Just flat up ignore.
You call someone, again specifically requesting a response, and the result is unnerving dead air. I actually asked for a service, and wanted to compensate, and again it was just another pattern of not being worthy of even a, I'm too busy. Why?
And my personal favourite is querying someone about an issue, and leaving a statement out there to be answered, and that's just the end of the discourse. Not an, I don't know. Not a, no thanks. Not even a, have a good day. Just empty, pregnant silence.
Maybe I'm just an enormous prick. I don't think it would be a stretch to think I might be a tad on the needy side. But why is the pattern repeated that I just get nothing back for my effort? Am I just disliked that much that everyone prefers to walk away over having something to do with me?
This is an effort in self discovery for me. I want to understand why I'm not reaching my goals in life. I'm not a terribly social person. I have identified this as a limitation. But constantly having my attempts to engage people, and being met with the stone wall, is not teaching me anything. In fact its making me ragingly angry and on the verge of becoming a militant asshole to everyone. If you thought I was a prick now, you should see what I could do if I'm committed.
I guess, at the end of the this, I'm asking for advice. Being ignored does not feel very good and I'd like it to stop. But clearly I'm exhibiting some kind of personality flaw that makes it easier for people to walk away than to say good bye. So what is it? Enlighten me!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
It has been a weird week.
I feel a bunch of things. Which in and of itself is weird, because you’re not really supposed to notice yourself feeling things. It’s just supposed to be happen.
I could lie and say I knew it was coming. If I tried to do that, you’d see right through me like a white shirt in a wet t-shirt contest. I didn’t see it coming, although maybe I should have.
Tuesday opened my eyes. It is not a lie to say I thought about the moment when it would happen. Because it would have been foolish to think I could go through the rest of my life without it happening. That’s what I wanted though.
I set up my trade show booth on Tuesday, with my direct competitor across the aisle from me. That direct competitor being my former employer. To say I have conflicted feelings about my former employer would be an understatement in the highest regard. It is unlikely that I will resolve the struggle within me about how it came to pass that I went from there to here.
There is a part of me, a very large part of me in fact, that wishes I could just hate him. That would be the easy way to deal with my emotions. Just let it be a smoldering, unquenched fire that burns in my belly. At least if I knew that’s what I felt then I could make a peace with it. But that isn’t true, so I don’t get the comfort.
While I knew beforehand that my direct competitor was going to be across the aisle from me, I was not prepared for the reality of the man who was my former employer, standing within that opposing booth. I hadn’t steeled myself for that. So when I saw him walking towards me, from the massive glass wall that framed the end of the trade show floor, my stomach gave a Herculean lurch that I almost wish hadn’t remained contained.
It was weird. Just plain, damn weird. I would like to use the word surreal, but that doesn’t really apply here. It just happened, and then it was gone. Which brings me to my earlier point about hating. At least if I just hated the man, then I’d have that with which I would have to live. But I don’t. I’ve tried to hate. I’ve tried hard. But I can’t hold it. It just won’t fit.
I’ve forgiven him. It would be easier to live my life if I didn’t but I’ve already done that. Which leaves me with the question why. But at the end of the day I don’t even need to know that. When he was standing there in front of me, smiling that open, free from pretension smile, I couldn’t help but admit that I’d let go any animosity about what happened.
Which moves us to Friday. On this august occasion I would be attending my very first Blades game as a patron, and not an employee in the building.
It was just plain, damn weird.
If I had to make an analogy that would explain what it felt like, I think it would be something like this:
Imagine what it would be like to be a baboon that was born into captivity. Your whole life you were in the cage, knew the cage, and never imagined you would ever be free of that cage. Then one day, when you didn’t expect it, after years and years on the inside, you were taken by the hand, led outside the walls, then left on your own. Imagine the shock and the wonder of being outside the bars. Imagine the sense of loneliness of not having those bars are your friend. It was like they kept you from your desire now, when it was before that it was supposed to be inhibiting.
It would have been surreal, if I hadn’t known all along that it was the truth. It hard to pretend it’s a dream (nightmare) when you’ve already pinched yourself to be sure its true.
So I walked around the building in the middle of an intermission. Not because I had to take something somewhere, but because the event was paused and I needed something to do. It kind of felt forced too. Like we all wanted it to be fun, but our real hope was that somehow we’d be let passed the steel bike rack and back to our home.
The velvet robe (steel bike rack) seems to change everything. When you’re on the inside, its like you’re part of something. It breaks down walls that otherwise exist. It changes the landscape.
The Blades won 3-2. I watched the game and cheered, enjoying the experience. But at the same time my heart lamented for something that was lost. I won’t feel the same about Credit Union Center anymore. I won’t call it regret. The real feeling will be somewhere between a lament and a longing.
Good bye old friend. Though we’ll still see each other from time to time, the bitter sting of a divorce will forever taint my heart.
I feel a bunch of things. Which in and of itself is weird, because you’re not really supposed to notice yourself feeling things. It’s just supposed to be happen.
I could lie and say I knew it was coming. If I tried to do that, you’d see right through me like a white shirt in a wet t-shirt contest. I didn’t see it coming, although maybe I should have.
Tuesday opened my eyes. It is not a lie to say I thought about the moment when it would happen. Because it would have been foolish to think I could go through the rest of my life without it happening. That’s what I wanted though.
I set up my trade show booth on Tuesday, with my direct competitor across the aisle from me. That direct competitor being my former employer. To say I have conflicted feelings about my former employer would be an understatement in the highest regard. It is unlikely that I will resolve the struggle within me about how it came to pass that I went from there to here.
There is a part of me, a very large part of me in fact, that wishes I could just hate him. That would be the easy way to deal with my emotions. Just let it be a smoldering, unquenched fire that burns in my belly. At least if I knew that’s what I felt then I could make a peace with it. But that isn’t true, so I don’t get the comfort.
While I knew beforehand that my direct competitor was going to be across the aisle from me, I was not prepared for the reality of the man who was my former employer, standing within that opposing booth. I hadn’t steeled myself for that. So when I saw him walking towards me, from the massive glass wall that framed the end of the trade show floor, my stomach gave a Herculean lurch that I almost wish hadn’t remained contained.
It was weird. Just plain, damn weird. I would like to use the word surreal, but that doesn’t really apply here. It just happened, and then it was gone. Which brings me to my earlier point about hating. At least if I just hated the man, then I’d have that with which I would have to live. But I don’t. I’ve tried to hate. I’ve tried hard. But I can’t hold it. It just won’t fit.
I’ve forgiven him. It would be easier to live my life if I didn’t but I’ve already done that. Which leaves me with the question why. But at the end of the day I don’t even need to know that. When he was standing there in front of me, smiling that open, free from pretension smile, I couldn’t help but admit that I’d let go any animosity about what happened.
Which moves us to Friday. On this august occasion I would be attending my very first Blades game as a patron, and not an employee in the building.
It was just plain, damn weird.
If I had to make an analogy that would explain what it felt like, I think it would be something like this:
Imagine what it would be like to be a baboon that was born into captivity. Your whole life you were in the cage, knew the cage, and never imagined you would ever be free of that cage. Then one day, when you didn’t expect it, after years and years on the inside, you were taken by the hand, led outside the walls, then left on your own. Imagine the shock and the wonder of being outside the bars. Imagine the sense of loneliness of not having those bars are your friend. It was like they kept you from your desire now, when it was before that it was supposed to be inhibiting.
It would have been surreal, if I hadn’t known all along that it was the truth. It hard to pretend it’s a dream (nightmare) when you’ve already pinched yourself to be sure its true.
So I walked around the building in the middle of an intermission. Not because I had to take something somewhere, but because the event was paused and I needed something to do. It kind of felt forced too. Like we all wanted it to be fun, but our real hope was that somehow we’d be let passed the steel bike rack and back to our home.
The velvet robe (steel bike rack) seems to change everything. When you’re on the inside, its like you’re part of something. It breaks down walls that otherwise exist. It changes the landscape.
The Blades won 3-2. I watched the game and cheered, enjoying the experience. But at the same time my heart lamented for something that was lost. I won’t feel the same about Credit Union Center anymore. I won’t call it regret. The real feeling will be somewhere between a lament and a longing.
Good bye old friend. Though we’ll still see each other from time to time, the bitter sting of a divorce will forever taint my heart.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
What the hell is wrong with the Canadian Tire web-site? I have this idea to mount my USB hub out in front of the computer. Right now I'm thinking of sticking it to the side of a VCR. However to do this, I would need to find some good quality two-sided tape.
Where's the first place you think of, when you need something of a handy nature? Well Canadian Tire of course. They've got just about anything you could possibly think of, and a very, very in-depth web-site. I'll just fire up the old beast and do a quick search to find out how much two-sided tape is.
So I bring up the page and type 'tape' into the search box. I hit Search and wait for my answer.
What does my search return? An inflatable boat. How the HELL do you get a top result of 'boat' in return for a search for 'tape'???
Where's the first place you think of, when you need something of a handy nature? Well Canadian Tire of course. They've got just about anything you could possibly think of, and a very, very in-depth web-site. I'll just fire up the old beast and do a quick search to find out how much two-sided tape is.
So I bring up the page and type 'tape' into the search box. I hit Search and wait for my answer.
What does my search return? An inflatable boat. How the HELL do you get a top result of 'boat' in return for a search for 'tape'???
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Who wants a pear?!?
And this isn't all of them. These are just the one's I RAKED up tonight. I picked about half a plastic tote worth of pears. It was hard to pick them. None of the pears have gotten really big. About 90% of them are golf ball sized. I was sorting through the tree looking for good one's and they would fall any time I brushed into the branches. Finally I gave up and picked from the one's on the ground. Then I gave up even that and just raked up the gargantuan mess of pears on the ground.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Seriously people, we need to have a talk.
I never really noticed this before. Which isn't so odd because I wasn't in the position of power. But to see the scenario from the other side now, it just baffles me at the level of stupidity that some people show.
What's wrong with driver's? Maybe this makes me seem old but really it feels like everyone has gone absolutely loony on the road now. You get on the road and sometimes you're so baffled at the level of sheet stupidity that people are exhibiting that it makes you want to find a rock to hide under.
I'm driving home tonight, and I get to a stop light. I'm at the head of the lane so I'll get off the line first. On my left is a man who is clearly older than me, and some similarly aged passengers. The car is a green 4-door Plymouth. I'm not a car guy so I can't tell you the model. I just read Plymouth on the trunk.
Light turns green, I shift into first and pull away from the line. I'm shifting gears here, its not an automatic. Plus the clutch on my car is a bit of a pain in the ass so its easier to drive it hard off the line, to make shifting easier.
The yahoo in the lane next of me is racing me.
Let's examine this situation. Ford Mustang with a V8 engine and a relative low weight. Plymouth sedan with likely a V6 and a much less modest weight.
I'm not even trying to go fast. Like I mentioned earlier, its just easier to shift gears in this car if you punch the gas and ride the clutch out a bit. Yeah, you'll come off the line decently hard, but I'm not trying to set any speed records.
So we're zipping up the street. I'm not even attempting to go fast; this is just my normal take-off strategy for city streets. And this jack ass beside me appears to have the pedal to the floor so he can get ahead of me. Yes, a part of me thought about just dropping it back a gear, punching it, and making this retard understand just how stupid he was. But I go through the gears to get to third in about 4-5 seconds and I'm already at 80 on a 60 km/h street. I'm not such a tool that I gotta out run a 50 year old guy if this is how he reminds himself that he has a pair between his legs.
My point remains however. What the hell is wrong with some people?? A jackass in a beat-out Plymouth sedan is attempting to race a bona fide sports car. He's taking the speed well past the limit to prove exactly what? That he barely beat someone that wasn't even trying? Come on people! Let's stop the madness.
I never really noticed this before. Which isn't so odd because I wasn't in the position of power. But to see the scenario from the other side now, it just baffles me at the level of stupidity that some people show.
What's wrong with driver's? Maybe this makes me seem old but really it feels like everyone has gone absolutely loony on the road now. You get on the road and sometimes you're so baffled at the level of sheet stupidity that people are exhibiting that it makes you want to find a rock to hide under.
I'm driving home tonight, and I get to a stop light. I'm at the head of the lane so I'll get off the line first. On my left is a man who is clearly older than me, and some similarly aged passengers. The car is a green 4-door Plymouth. I'm not a car guy so I can't tell you the model. I just read Plymouth on the trunk.
Light turns green, I shift into first and pull away from the line. I'm shifting gears here, its not an automatic. Plus the clutch on my car is a bit of a pain in the ass so its easier to drive it hard off the line, to make shifting easier.
The yahoo in the lane next of me is racing me.
Let's examine this situation. Ford Mustang with a V8 engine and a relative low weight. Plymouth sedan with likely a V6 and a much less modest weight.
I'm not even trying to go fast. Like I mentioned earlier, its just easier to shift gears in this car if you punch the gas and ride the clutch out a bit. Yeah, you'll come off the line decently hard, but I'm not trying to set any speed records.
So we're zipping up the street. I'm not even attempting to go fast; this is just my normal take-off strategy for city streets. And this jack ass beside me appears to have the pedal to the floor so he can get ahead of me. Yes, a part of me thought about just dropping it back a gear, punching it, and making this retard understand just how stupid he was. But I go through the gears to get to third in about 4-5 seconds and I'm already at 80 on a 60 km/h street. I'm not such a tool that I gotta out run a 50 year old guy if this is how he reminds himself that he has a pair between his legs.
My point remains however. What the hell is wrong with some people?? A jackass in a beat-out Plymouth sedan is attempting to race a bona fide sports car. He's taking the speed well past the limit to prove exactly what? That he barely beat someone that wasn't even trying? Come on people! Let's stop the madness.