Did you ever have one of those moments where everything comes into perfect focus, and then you just screw it up?
I was playing hockey tonight. Admittedly, not my best sport but its fun, and I wanted to run around so I joined the league. I didn't set any all-star points but by the same token I would say I didn't embarass myself.
Except for one moment.
The puck is in the opponents end. He's coming out from the corner on my left. He has one guy along the boards at the same depth to pass from, or try to move it up the board. We have one guy going on the ball carrier, and one guy on the player down low. He tries to pass.
I anticipate this perfectly. Its like I could see it about to happen. I run into the middle and sure enough, the opponents pass ends up on my stick. I'm about 20 feet out from the net with no one on me.
And I freeze.
It was such a perfect moment that I wanted to take the perfect shot. So I'm trying to calm the ball on my stick so its perfect to take a shot. And I'm not shooting, and not shooting and not shooting. Its just not perfect enough yet. Finally someone runs at me, and I panic and I fire one harmlessly off the shin pads of the defender running towards me. It was infuriating. We were down two goals and I had a perfect opportunity.
I screwed it up. I can assure you I will not forget that for awhile.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Friday, May 01, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I could rattle on, and on, for a page or more about how stupefyingly boring tonight's Leonard Cohen concert was. Or I could preach about the stupidity of the blackness imposed upon us by the show. Perhaps I could best illustrate my point about the insipid dictum that absolute silence be upheld at all times.
I could do that but I will best make my point with one example.
I am leaving the building as the show is winding to its grand finale. In another other 'concert' (and I use the term loosely in this connotation) the energy of the show would be ramping up to a crowning point, before cresting and ending abruptly, having achieved the intent of leaving the crowd with more.
As I walk towards the door, rather than hear a pulsating roar from the stage, or an intensity from a crowd that is loving the show, I can hear, from somewhere within the pitch black darkess of the side of the stage, a portable generator. My ears are not filled with the sound of the show. My senses are not sparkled by a crowd enthralled with the performance. I can hear a stupid, portable generator, cranking out electricity. Its drowning out the performance on the stage to the point that I can't hear the singing, but do hear this mechanical pulsing, as I walk towards the door.
If that doesn't signify the pathetic energy of this show any more vividly, then I'm a lousy story-teller.
I could do that but I will best make my point with one example.
I am leaving the building as the show is winding to its grand finale. In another other 'concert' (and I use the term loosely in this connotation) the energy of the show would be ramping up to a crowning point, before cresting and ending abruptly, having achieved the intent of leaving the crowd with more.
As I walk towards the door, rather than hear a pulsating roar from the stage, or an intensity from a crowd that is loving the show, I can hear, from somewhere within the pitch black darkess of the side of the stage, a portable generator. My ears are not filled with the sound of the show. My senses are not sparkled by a crowd enthralled with the performance. I can hear a stupid, portable generator, cranking out electricity. Its drowning out the performance on the stage to the point that I can't hear the singing, but do hear this mechanical pulsing, as I walk towards the door.
If that doesn't signify the pathetic energy of this show any more vividly, then I'm a lousy story-teller.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
"People seen on the street today, top one answer to the question . . .Is it warm enough for shorts yet!?! What's your answer?"
"We're going to go with YES!"
"Show me YES!!!"
BBBBBUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"That would be WRONG. You all suck. For your stupidity you will now be shot summarily."
BANG!!!
"We're going to go with YES!"
"Show me YES!!!"
BBBBBUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"That would be WRONG. You all suck. For your stupidity you will now be shot summarily."
BANG!!!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Okay girls, we have to talk.
That piercing, where you put a stud under your bottom lip? Yeah, that looks retarded. I know its trendy and all the girls are doing it, but its about the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Don't put shit in your face!
I can't stress this enough. No one can pull off that look. No one. At least when its the creepy goth chick you can write the decision off as part of a global failing of thought. However in the past two days I've seen two, average, ordinary, doesn't appear messed up in the head girls, with this stupid piercing under the lip.
Don't put shit in your face!
I can't stress this enough. The examples from this weekend were average, cut girls in the early/mid twenties range. They looked like your typical, girl-next-door, type. Except for this asinine piercing under the lip.
Look, let me tell you what that looks like, from a third-party persepective. I think we're supposed to be fooled into thinking its a beauty mark but ladies, that's not working.
It looks like a wart, or some kind of abnormal growth.
It might be a piece of food that you don't notice is there, but makes you look like a pig or a slob.
Perhaps its a highly unattractive cold sore, which isn't making anyone think you're pretty.
Or it could be a pimple that you're not taking care of, thus ruining your, girl-next-door appeal.
No matter what it is mistaken for, it is never mistaken for something pretty, attractive or a decision that in some way enhances your looks. It makes you look like a retard, moron or buffoon.
Please knock it off.
That piercing, where you put a stud under your bottom lip? Yeah, that looks retarded. I know its trendy and all the girls are doing it, but its about the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Don't put shit in your face!
I can't stress this enough. No one can pull off that look. No one. At least when its the creepy goth chick you can write the decision off as part of a global failing of thought. However in the past two days I've seen two, average, ordinary, doesn't appear messed up in the head girls, with this stupid piercing under the lip.
Don't put shit in your face!
I can't stress this enough. The examples from this weekend were average, cut girls in the early/mid twenties range. They looked like your typical, girl-next-door, type. Except for this asinine piercing under the lip.
Look, let me tell you what that looks like, from a third-party persepective. I think we're supposed to be fooled into thinking its a beauty mark but ladies, that's not working.
It looks like a wart, or some kind of abnormal growth.
It might be a piece of food that you don't notice is there, but makes you look like a pig or a slob.
Perhaps its a highly unattractive cold sore, which isn't making anyone think you're pretty.
Or it could be a pimple that you're not taking care of, thus ruining your, girl-next-door appeal.
No matter what it is mistaken for, it is never mistaken for something pretty, attractive or a decision that in some way enhances your looks. It makes you look like a retard, moron or buffoon.
Please knock it off.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I finally went to the doctor this morning for my physical. Its only about 17 years now since a doctor in Saskatoon told me I needed a family doctor. That's about par for the course in how I approach the medical profession.
What a disaster the trip turned out to be. That office is a complete nightmare. How they do anything successfully I will never understand. I think they'd actually lost my appointment. It was an appointment I had to schedule 6 weeks ago because they simply had no spaces available any sooner. She looked at that chart for a long time but didn't say anything. If I go on what the doctor said, it sounds like they called him in from a day off. I heard two other people say they were there to see the same doctor. I have to assume he was called in to see patients the office staff had been booked, when he thought he was free.
To compound their uselessness, the nurse/receptionist puts me in the little examining room but doen't include any of the documentation of my file. So the doctor had to leave for what must have been 10 minutes, to find the results of tests that he'd had me do, and the notes he'd written last time.
The whole experience was a gong-show nightmare. I think he left the room about 5 times, to look something up or get more information. Each trek away was at least 5 minutes of waiting. Meanwhile I'm sitting there in my shorts, and nothing else, because that's what the nurse woman said to do. He's supposed to be giving me a physical, right? All he did for examing was look in my throat, my right ear, and do some listening with the stethesope. Now admittedly, I'm probably in pretty good health. Nevertheless, I did all this blasted waiting for that much interest in how I am?
Anyway, we get to the point of what I'm concerned about, and I tell him the problems I'm having. Lots of diarrhea, bad headaches, neck pain, dizzy spells. At the very least he did hone in on the damn headaches and we investigated that for a few minutes. (oh yeah, he also examined my feet, for reasons that are not clear to me) Sounds like migraines, he says to me. At least you got that right! So he offers me some migraine medication and promises to book me in to see a neurologist. So maybe we're going to get somewhere with the headaches.
But he gives me these migraine pills and I ask, is there anything wrong with taking these with my other medications? He doesn't know (obviously) and thus we had another long trip out of the room. Well golly gee shit, turns out the migraine pills ARE contra-indicated for people taking Prozac. It is possible to get something called 'serotonin syndrome'. I ask if that's bad and he says yeah, it could kill you. So he put exactly that much thought into prescribing me a medication, given the medical history I'd now told him about twice.
What a disaster the trip turned out to be. That office is a complete nightmare. How they do anything successfully I will never understand. I think they'd actually lost my appointment. It was an appointment I had to schedule 6 weeks ago because they simply had no spaces available any sooner. She looked at that chart for a long time but didn't say anything. If I go on what the doctor said, it sounds like they called him in from a day off. I heard two other people say they were there to see the same doctor. I have to assume he was called in to see patients the office staff had been booked, when he thought he was free.
To compound their uselessness, the nurse/receptionist puts me in the little examining room but doen't include any of the documentation of my file. So the doctor had to leave for what must have been 10 minutes, to find the results of tests that he'd had me do, and the notes he'd written last time.
The whole experience was a gong-show nightmare. I think he left the room about 5 times, to look something up or get more information. Each trek away was at least 5 minutes of waiting. Meanwhile I'm sitting there in my shorts, and nothing else, because that's what the nurse woman said to do. He's supposed to be giving me a physical, right? All he did for examing was look in my throat, my right ear, and do some listening with the stethesope. Now admittedly, I'm probably in pretty good health. Nevertheless, I did all this blasted waiting for that much interest in how I am?
Anyway, we get to the point of what I'm concerned about, and I tell him the problems I'm having. Lots of diarrhea, bad headaches, neck pain, dizzy spells. At the very least he did hone in on the damn headaches and we investigated that for a few minutes. (oh yeah, he also examined my feet, for reasons that are not clear to me) Sounds like migraines, he says to me. At least you got that right! So he offers me some migraine medication and promises to book me in to see a neurologist. So maybe we're going to get somewhere with the headaches.
But he gives me these migraine pills and I ask, is there anything wrong with taking these with my other medications? He doesn't know (obviously) and thus we had another long trip out of the room. Well golly gee shit, turns out the migraine pills ARE contra-indicated for people taking Prozac. It is possible to get something called 'serotonin syndrome'. I ask if that's bad and he says yeah, it could kill you. So he put exactly that much thought into prescribing me a medication, given the medical history I'd now told him about twice.