Friday, July 04, 2008

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you are a pair of beautiful young girls, dressed and ready to go to the club on a Friday night, why are you in Home Depot buying 1" clear vinyl tubing?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Blog Question Of The Day:

Who the F&%K cheats on Christie Brinkley!?!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Saturday, June 28, 2008

"Watch the lumbering sloth of the napasaurus, as it tends to the bar at the ungainly slow Cirque Du Soleil show . . ."

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I'm pretty sure Stewie Griffin is going to grow up to be a homosexual.
With the net as big as it is, it really should be inexcusable for a soccer goalie to get beat through the 5 hole.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

I just read a forum post from someone who was apologizing for their website being down (paid membership site). Apparently some data center in Houston had something go wrong and a huge portion of their equipment went dead. There was a fire, or an explosion, or something happened. I remember reading about it in the news on the web a couple of days ago but I don't remember the details.

Anyway, someone responded to this post and said, thanks for the heads up. Don't worry about it and luckily no one was hurt.

Is it just me or is that another one of these empty platitudes that don't mean anything? Of course is lucky, and a relief, that no one was hurt. However, on a personal level, does the fact that no one was hurt really mean anything to us? To the family and friends of someone that works at that data center, the fact that no one was hurt means something significant. The person they know could have been hurt, but wasn't. But to me, Joe Webuser, living thousands of miles away, do I really care that no one was hurt?

Obviously, as a moral human being, I never wish harm to come to another person. But for me to say, luckily no one was hurt, shouldn't it actually have a meaning for me? Else, aren't I just mouthing empty words with no sentiment behind it? If no one is hurt, then I can't connect with the tragedy on any kind of level. Its not that much different than a demolition that goes off safely. Building is damaged, life goes on. However, if someone IS hurt, then I can connect with the occurence on a human level because another person has been injured or killed, and while I don't know the victim personally, I can personalize it by thinking, what if that happened to my friend?

Luckily no one was hurt gets said a lot it seems. But I suspect that its just words without sentiment. Wouldn't a response on a forum feel more genuine if someone actually had been injured?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

I pull up to the drive-thru speaker at KFC/Taco Bell in Winnipeg tonight. I'm hot, tired and hungry like balls. All I want is something hot to eat, and something ice cold to drink, before I pass out like a stone on a crummy hotel bed.

Before I can think of anything pithy to say into the faceless automoton that is a drive-thru speaker, a perky young girl's voice chirps out at me.

'If you are here for chicken from KFC' (ever so slight pause for dramatic effect) 'we are out of chicken'

I was floored. Quite honestly floored. I came to a KFC/Taco Bell and the first thing they tell me is, they are out of chicken. Out of chicken!?! How does a chicken joint run out of chicken? You'd think the very first thing you do at the start of the KFC day is, ask yourself, do I have 16 tons of chicken on hand. I mean, its not like you can look at the menu board and say, I really don't think anyone will order chicken today.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

So what's the deal with the way people set to hit in slo-pitch? You'd think we were 7 million dollar a year outfielders for the Chicago Cubs. I'm sitting on the bench and I'm watching our opponents toe into the batter's box like Barry Bonds on a steroid bender.

Exactly what do these people think they are accomplishing when they grind into the dirt like that? Its the first inning and the diamond is groomed, and nice looking. Unlike what has become our usual field, this one we were on tonight looks unspoiled and flat. Then Joe Slo-Pitch digs into the batter's box and suddenly the shale is flying like we're on a mine site. I watch in horror as this (as it turns out) weak hitter, digs into the batter's box like he's strip mining for coal. I hope he found some because that tepid grounder he hit to third base isn't gonna win him any guaranteed contracts with the Cardinals.

By the time I get to hit in the third inning, the hole on the right side of the home plate is yawning open like a crater after a meteor strike. It dismays me that in three short innings, we've taken a well groomed batter's box, and turned into an ecological disaster typically reserved for strip mines of the 1950's. I go up to bat and the strike zone is the ground to my shoulders, because of the hole my knees are flush with the plate.

Why can't we all just go up there, step into the box, and take a cut at the ball? No one is going to the major's from the D League of Saskatoon slo-pitch.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

I forgot to mention something about Arby's.

Of the staff who's feet I could see, 2/3 of them had on flip-flops.
I strongly recommend the new Pecan Chicken Salad Sandwich from Arby's. Its a little pricey at $5.49. But it was fresh, on real bread, with lots of flavor, including some distinct one's that I couldn't immediately place. Actually, the chicken in the sandwich was at best 50% of the bulk, and maybe less as there was crunchy vegetables and what I have to assume were the pecans. It bought it as an experiment and I found myself feeling delightfully impressed.

What was not impressive was the Arby's store from which I bought the sandwich. If you can at all help it, do NOT frequent the Arby's on Circle Drive. It was horrible. I don't want to go into a long narrative on why I was unimpressed so here are some bullet points about what went wrong:

- they had one cashier, she didn't seem to know what she was doing, and of the three orders I witnessed, she got them all wrong
- there was 5 employees, all girls, and none of them seemed capable of getting along with on another
- the manager was on the drive-thru window, and she appeared to be about 5 seconds away from apoplectic rage that would cause her to quit completely. I thought she might strike the cashier when she couldn't process my chicken salad sandwich properly
- the cashier told the man ahead of me that sour cream was extra but the person who brought it gave it to him for free. Not such a bad thing but you gotta hate the inconsistency
- I'm not sure they successfully processed a drive-thru order while I was in the store for 20 minutes. When the manager went to deliver a late drive-thru order, she dumped all the drinks on the floor trying to negotiate the door. When 5 groups in line she just left the mess on the floor and kept on going.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

After watching tonight's hockey game I have come to realize that Sidney Crosby is a bit of a douche.
Remember how much we ALL hated that Scotiabank commercial with the nook? It started out in the same park as that Scotiabank commercial and now the repetition of it has made the DAMN Kia commercial with Flashdance theme exactly the same.

Get that dreck off my TV during playoffs!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Blog Song Of The Day:

Rehab - Sittin' At A Bar
For the life of me I do not get it.

Can someone, please, explain to me, why I would want to give even two squirts of piss for American goddamn Idol!?!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Has anyone else ever noticed that those awareness ribbons (red for AIDS, pink for breast cancer, etc) look an awful lot like the Jesus fish symbol turned sideways?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

What would possess you to think that putting neon license plate illumination on a 1990's era Mercury Villager would be a good idea!?!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Would I want a rhinoceros as a pet?
Blog Question Of The Day:

Would you ever consider going parachuting?