I have a complaint with the playing of golf lately.
We need to develop a sense of reasonability about our approach to the search for a golf ball. There are a great many of us that are going too far with the search for a lost ball.
I have just done some research on the internet and determined that a golf ball can cost anywhere from $2 to $5 for a brand new, brand name, top of the line golf ball. We are going to assume, for the purposes of this discussion, that all of you are using a top of the line ball when you are doing all this searching. Because if you're using a range ball that you dug out of the bush 3 years ago then I'm about ten times more pissed off then I already I am.
Look, I can understand the desire to find a lost ball. You hit a bad shot but you got a good look at it, and you've got a decent idea of where it is. But lets be reasonable, ok? You hit it in the bush? Its not in the fairway, or the deep grass, or some place that's easy to find. You hit it in the bloody scrub brush or the deep thicket. I know you think you know where it is, but this really is a needle-in-a-haystack scenario.
However, more aggravating are those of you that are holding up progress on the whole damn golf course to go searching for a ball that is not on your section of the course anymore. I've seen this happen. Let me give you all a rule of thumb. And its not a difficult to follow one.
1) If your ball is, out of bounds, as the rules of the course are laid out
2) Your ball is in someone else's field of play
3) It would require walking 50 yards past the out of bounds stake to get where you think your ball might be
If all of these conditions are met then you have to let the $3 golf ball go and just move on with your game. The $3 is not worth it and you're pissing off everyone else around you on the course if you keep persisting in looking for it. Just take a bloody drop and move on.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I saw my own death tonight. It wasn't pleasant.
It will happen in the downstairs bathroom of my house. That's a modest comfort because at least I'll die at home. But I had the sense that I'll still be alone so that's not a lot of comfort.
"Fred" will have called again, like he always does. And when I least want to speak to him. I'll be in the washroom chatting with him when it'll happen. Something is going to /pop/ in my head. It will happen on the left side, somewhere around the temple. The pain is going to be sudden and immediate. I will spasm from it, jerking me from the toilet. My body will become splayed across the bath tub that stretches in front of you, when you're seated in my downstairs bathroom. The end will come quickly and I will bleed to death. The blood with run from my ear, down the drain into the sewer.
It will happen in the downstairs bathroom of my house. That's a modest comfort because at least I'll die at home. But I had the sense that I'll still be alone so that's not a lot of comfort.
"Fred" will have called again, like he always does. And when I least want to speak to him. I'll be in the washroom chatting with him when it'll happen. Something is going to /pop/ in my head. It will happen on the left side, somewhere around the temple. The pain is going to be sudden and immediate. I will spasm from it, jerking me from the toilet. My body will become splayed across the bath tub that stretches in front of you, when you're seated in my downstairs bathroom. The end will come quickly and I will bleed to death. The blood with run from my ear, down the drain into the sewer.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I swear, if I ever find out who you are, Volkswagen driver FHE 503 I am going to strangulate you for being so stupid.
No, there was NOT enough room for you to cut in front of me.
No you did NOT signal your intentions.
You are just damn lucky I had a premonition that you were an ass-hat and somehow predicted that you were going to do something stupid. Otherwise we'd both be scheduling appointments with SGI this afternoon.
No, there was NOT enough room for you to cut in front of me.
No you did NOT signal your intentions.
You are just damn lucky I had a premonition that you were an ass-hat and somehow predicted that you were going to do something stupid. Otherwise we'd both be scheduling appointments with SGI this afternoon.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Why do some people not plan ahead? I support a plan as much as the next person but if you don't think it through, its really not that much of a plan.
I was invited to lunch today, by some fellow committee members on the association of engineers. They are both from Regina, and i had never met either of them. One called me on the phone to schedule the lunch meeting about a week ago.
They chose Earl's as the location for this meeting. There were no numbers exchanged, or plans made about what to do or when. The only direction provided is that the people from Regina would arrive by 11:45, at the latest, and those of us from Saskatoon could arrive later and meet at the restaurant.
One complication . . . Earl's won't identify your table in any way. So if you're Joe Smith, here to meet Becky Wannamaker, that's hard to cheese for you, unless you can pick her out of a police line-up. When you show up at Earl's, you're welcome to wander all over the restaurant looking for your party. But the incredibly vapid girls at the front will make no attempt to help you locate your table.
So I'm here at Earl's, to meet two people from Regina that I've never seen before. I have no contact number to phone a cell phone, and I can't find them in the restaurant by looking at faces. What to do? Well, I waited 25 minutes until quarter AFTER 12 for them to find me patiently waiting by the front door. That didn't happen so I blew out of there.
Next time, but a bit more thought into your damn plan!
I was invited to lunch today, by some fellow committee members on the association of engineers. They are both from Regina, and i had never met either of them. One called me on the phone to schedule the lunch meeting about a week ago.
They chose Earl's as the location for this meeting. There were no numbers exchanged, or plans made about what to do or when. The only direction provided is that the people from Regina would arrive by 11:45, at the latest, and those of us from Saskatoon could arrive later and meet at the restaurant.
One complication . . . Earl's won't identify your table in any way. So if you're Joe Smith, here to meet Becky Wannamaker, that's hard to cheese for you, unless you can pick her out of a police line-up. When you show up at Earl's, you're welcome to wander all over the restaurant looking for your party. But the incredibly vapid girls at the front will make no attempt to help you locate your table.
So I'm here at Earl's, to meet two people from Regina that I've never seen before. I have no contact number to phone a cell phone, and I can't find them in the restaurant by looking at faces. What to do? Well, I waited 25 minutes until quarter AFTER 12 for them to find me patiently waiting by the front door. That didn't happen so I blew out of there.
Next time, but a bit more thought into your damn plan!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Friday, June 05, 2009
Its official. Sasktel has the worst corporate web site in the history of online presence.
I go to the Sasktel website because I want to look something up. Seems like a relatively simple task, right? First of all, the damn pages won't load. I wait and I wait and I wait and the bloody hour glass symbol won't go away. Presumably its still /thinking/.
Finally I give up on that and skip trying to go through the menus to get what I want. I try to use the Search box. I can't /search/ unless I pick a category of the site to search in. WTF is up with that!?! I want to search your whole, useless damn site, you twigs!!! If I knew WHERE to get what I want, I wouldn't need to SEARCH!!!
In the end, they had no spot on the site to look up phone number availability. I hate SaskTel.
I go to the Sasktel website because I want to look something up. Seems like a relatively simple task, right? First of all, the damn pages won't load. I wait and I wait and I wait and the bloody hour glass symbol won't go away. Presumably its still /thinking/.
Finally I give up on that and skip trying to go through the menus to get what I want. I try to use the Search box. I can't /search/ unless I pick a category of the site to search in. WTF is up with that!?! I want to search your whole, useless damn site, you twigs!!! If I knew WHERE to get what I want, I wouldn't need to SEARCH!!!
In the end, they had no spot on the site to look up phone number availability. I hate SaskTel.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Did you ever have one of those moments where everything comes into perfect focus, and then you just screw it up?
I was playing hockey tonight. Admittedly, not my best sport but its fun, and I wanted to run around so I joined the league. I didn't set any all-star points but by the same token I would say I didn't embarass myself.
Except for one moment.
The puck is in the opponents end. He's coming out from the corner on my left. He has one guy along the boards at the same depth to pass from, or try to move it up the board. We have one guy going on the ball carrier, and one guy on the player down low. He tries to pass.
I anticipate this perfectly. Its like I could see it about to happen. I run into the middle and sure enough, the opponents pass ends up on my stick. I'm about 20 feet out from the net with no one on me.
And I freeze.
It was such a perfect moment that I wanted to take the perfect shot. So I'm trying to calm the ball on my stick so its perfect to take a shot. And I'm not shooting, and not shooting and not shooting. Its just not perfect enough yet. Finally someone runs at me, and I panic and I fire one harmlessly off the shin pads of the defender running towards me. It was infuriating. We were down two goals and I had a perfect opportunity.
I screwed it up. I can assure you I will not forget that for awhile.
I was playing hockey tonight. Admittedly, not my best sport but its fun, and I wanted to run around so I joined the league. I didn't set any all-star points but by the same token I would say I didn't embarass myself.
Except for one moment.
The puck is in the opponents end. He's coming out from the corner on my left. He has one guy along the boards at the same depth to pass from, or try to move it up the board. We have one guy going on the ball carrier, and one guy on the player down low. He tries to pass.
I anticipate this perfectly. Its like I could see it about to happen. I run into the middle and sure enough, the opponents pass ends up on my stick. I'm about 20 feet out from the net with no one on me.
And I freeze.
It was such a perfect moment that I wanted to take the perfect shot. So I'm trying to calm the ball on my stick so its perfect to take a shot. And I'm not shooting, and not shooting and not shooting. Its just not perfect enough yet. Finally someone runs at me, and I panic and I fire one harmlessly off the shin pads of the defender running towards me. It was infuriating. We were down two goals and I had a perfect opportunity.
I screwed it up. I can assure you I will not forget that for awhile.