Does anyone want to come to Watson and keep me company for the weekend?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I sell my house and learn to just live in my office between Monday and Friday?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Yellowcard - Only One

Blog Question Of The Day:

What are those temporary tattoos, like the ones the give out at sporting events, made of that makes them temporary?

Blog Song Of The Day:

New Found Glory - I Don't Wanna Know

I have removed my hair.

Why does it bother me in a vague way that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are separating?

Can someone explain to me how you can take as talented an actress and Natalie Portman, and reduce her to the relevance of a porcelain figurine?

I'm watching Star Wars Episode III. This is the same girl I watched in Garden State a couple of weeks ago, and she lit up the movie with characer. In this she's just a china doll to put obscure hair styles on, and make her say stupid lines. Its a crime.

This is a good story. A little better execution in certain spots would have carried a long way. Not the least of which is a better use of the talented Ms. Portman.

Is there any musical group that gets annoying faster than Outkast?

Blog Poll Of The Day:

Do you know what the word 'misanthrope' means, without looking it up in the dictionary?

I was installing Windows for someone today. This is a horribly tedious project and leaves lots of time for introspection. I came up with a question.

Why is it that the only thing people would want bundled into Windows, an anti-virus program, is the only thing they don't include with the package?

I swear the universe must be sentient. There's no way one guy could be this unlucky. The only possible excuse is that:

fate. . .
the universe. . .
destiny. . .
the cosmos. . .
God perhaps. . .

is out to get me.

It smells like Subway in here.

I had the strangest dream last night.

First of all, I was on vacation. But it was no place I'd ever been before. I think it was Mexico, or supposed to be Mexico, but I have this recollection of being just off the coast of Florida. It was a lush, tropical location. The resort layout was kind of strange, or at least nothing I was used to. All the cabins were along the ocean front, and you walked from place to place through the bushes, along this wood sidewalk.

That's not what was strange.

First of all, I was there alone, while everyone else was with someone. That depressed me but whatever. My cousin Bruce was there, but I've never travelled with him. I was bunking with Cowan, but he wasn't there alone, so I didn't quite understand that. Plus, I knew all these people were on the trip but I could never find anyone. I was always on the beach alone.

Somehow I'd hurt my hands so I was leaving the beach a lot to go re-wrap them with gauze. I didn't understand that at all.

Here's the weird part. I went walking on this open land that actually resembled a golf course a lot, but no one was playing golf. Suddenly, out of the pond started walking this huge lizards. But the silly thing was, they didn't look leathery and 'real' like you'd expect. They were all wildly colored and vaguely cartoonish. Actually, they were painted up like you'd expect to see video game monsters.

Now I get all excited about these monsters and go looking for my friends. I find them, and they assure me I must be over-reacting and completely wrong. So I take them back to where I find the monsters and they all freak out when they realize that I'm right. So we're running from place to place in this resort, and the whole place is over-run with cartoon-like dinosaur monsters.

I think that dream ended when I woke up in a start because I had the blankets wrapped around my leg. Then I had another dream that I was living in my new house, but it was actually attached to the house I live in, in Central Butte. But the stupid part was that the houses were only joined, with an indoor walkway, through the attic. And the door to get from one to the other was this solid steel door, with a massive hydraulic contraption for opening it. And to add final insult to the injury of using it, it was only about half the regular height of a regular door.

I think I need to lay off the cheap drugs.

Do you ever encounter something and you can't help asking - what's the point?

I'm downloading drivers for a computer today. And every driver I want to download comes with a 19 page document prefacing the download button. WHY!?! Nobody reads these things. I mean NOBODY. We all just scroll down and click Accept.

At least have the decency to put the Accept button at the top. Think of those people without scroll mouses.

I swear people must be stupid.

On one day you will have them bitching sulfuriously about the price of gas. The commentary will be that high gas prices are the ruination of society. We will be completely bankrupt by ruthless corporations bent solely on stealing our hard earned money.

Then another day when its only modestly cold, they will start their vehicle 15 minutes before they intend to go home so that the interior can be warm when they get in.

Today my wrath is directed towards the insidious presence of:

AOL Music - First Listen

Why must they ruin everything with their annoying corporate presence!?!

I went to Taco Time for lunch today. I ordered a chicken taco. Below you will find my review of it.

meh

Today's password of the day was: abc123

I am contaminated with fecal coliform.

Ever have one of those days where you just wanted to steer into the oncoming traffic?

I just realized something.

I could have put my house purchase on my credit card.

I feel really tired tonight. Can writing an 11 page letter make you drowsy?

And one more thing on top of the last thing . . .

Souris can suck my ass.

And one more thing . . .

For those of you that knew about my trouble with my digital video camera, and the fact that I lost the AC adapter to charge the battery . . .

I found it. It was in my backpack, of all places.

I wish someone could explain to me, in a way that made clear and rational sense, why you'd put a metal RING through any part of your traditionally unadorned face!?!?!

If anyone needs me, I'll be on the phone all afternoon.

Blog Poll Of The Day:

Which of the following is preferable?

a) ice cold Pepsi
b) ice cold beer

The password for the water plant I was in today is: 618

And . . .

For reasons that completely defy explanation, all of the web pages (including Blogger) that wouldn't work on my computer at work, have today started displaying again. I did nothing to make this happen. Everything just . . . worked.

Does anyone else think that the re-incarnated Family Guy is a bit lame in comparison to the original run?

I think its funny that Microsoft, that tried to create their own music format to replace MP3's, uses MP3's in their video game products.

I think they ruined Mountain Dew.

I used to really like it. It was sweet, had a nice citrus bite to it, and even if it got warm it was still palatable. Now it has a weird, icky taste to it. I'm not sure how to describe it actually. Its lost its fresh, citrus bit and instead has an almost bitter finish to it. I don't like it at all.

Why do they gotta ruin good things in the name of innovation? You'd think they'd all have realized the folly of doing that with New Coke. But here they are, putting stuff in the drinks in an effort to make 'new' products. We don't NEED new products. Just leave the good ones alone and let us enjoy them.

Progress pisses me off.

Baby powder smells nice.

I have determined that RC Cola goes down WAY too easy.

I have spent the day contemplating my personality and what makes me who I am. After long hours of thought I have decided what is my most significant failure.

I don't finish the things that I start.

Yesterday was a screwed up day. I got possession of my house. After the long, arduous battle it finally became mine. Then I was at once both excited and terrified. I muddled my way through it somehow and started moving.

That was a weird experience too. I didn't have a plan for it. I just walked into a room full of clutter, started rifling things into a box, and hauled it over. In a more detached frame of mind I can see how that isn't the most efficient way to accomplish the task. But I wanted to DO something, and just stuffing boxes wasn't going to satisfy me. So I packed, and hauled and repeated. Then I took a look around my new house and nearly had a heart attack. How am I going to fit everything into this tiny little place!?!

It looks a little better today. I took some stuff out of boxes and put it on shelves. Even that wasn't very orderly and I can make it more tidy. I have more hope today, then I had yesterday, that I can make this new place work. But its not going to be a walk in the park. I'm going to have to trim and be ruthless in what I keep and what I discard. I don't have the space I had before. Maybe when I build the addition I can expand but that's probably not happening until the spring.

Its going to be a crowded winter.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I buy a baseball game for my XBox?

I learned something about myself tonight. I don't stand out in the front where everyone can see me. I am much more comfortable hiding in the shadows, spewing venom in the form of acerbic commentary.

I think my attitude needs adjustment.

Today was a momentous day. I went to the lawyer's. The long, painful battle that has been my quest to purchase a house crossed what should be its last obstacle. I signed the documents to confirmed my mortgage.

But, as with every step in this struggle, this one was not without incident. I get to the lawyers, expecting to make my down payment and I hear from the guy (who was disarmingly jovial, and not what I expected for a lawyer) that the bank wants to put up the purchase price of the house. Thus threw me for a loop because then why was it so important that I find 25%, if they weren't going to take it off the top. We eventually got that sorted out, and the bank is covering my $7500.

Soon I will be a home owner!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why did they get rid of Mountain Dew Red?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Tupac & Dr. Dre – California Love

If you are to believe these commercials, a body spray for men is very effective at drawing favorable attention. Am I missing something important? Should I be purchasing some of this product?

I'm having an introspective afternoon. I don't know why but my mind has turn to the disappointments and letdowns of the recent past. I made an oath at the beginning of this year and despite my best efforts, its looking like I'm going to fail in that pledge. And that bothers me. So I was trying to think of things I could do that might have the possibility of redeeming this rather lackluster year.

As this long weekend comes to a close, I have developed another of my infamous Blog Questions Of The Day:

What activities belong on a list of one's that everyone should experience at least once in their life?

I give her credit for actually singing live this time but I gotta say, Ashlee Simpson has all the rhythm of a sack of wet cement.

Not all of you are going to know what I'm talking about, as I launch into this rant. Nonetheless it irritated me for about the thousandth time tonight, so I'm going to write it down.

Why the hell can't the stupid TV be pointed in a direction that would make it possible to see it decently from the bar? I'm standing behind the bar and I can just see enough of the Rider game to tease me. The stupid TV is twisted in the other direction for some asinine reason. It doesn't appear to have had any logic applied to it. The angle of the TV is NOT parallel to the wall on which it is affixed. And this is probably what irritates me the most. If they'd just installed it the at the same angle as the wall is cut, then I'd be able to see it just fine. But NOOOOO, we can't do that.

I swear they're doing it specifically to piss me off.

See if you follow my logic

I know two Melissa’s

Those Melissa’s are hot

Therefore, all Melissa’s are hot

Blog Question Of The Day:

What would you do if you won $100,000?

Its not enough to quit your job and live a life of luxury but it would buy a few creature comforts, luxuries and toys. What would you get out of the money?

Its a magical time of year.

Some of my enthusiasm for baseball has waned, now that my team is no more. No matter my displeasure for Major League Baseball, the playoffs are hard to resist. Televised baseball in October has something special. Perhaps its that each game matters. That is in contrast to the 162 they can play, where any one individual doesn't matter. Its only the total that makes any difference.

And they can conjure up some of the most obscure trivia during a playoff baseball game. They rather laid-back tempo of baseball leaves a lot of air time to fill with chatter. There is always and abundance.

"The only major league team with a winning record during Joe Torre's tenure as manager is the Angels"

Some guy scoured a record book to find that. And it won't be the last. There will be more of these comments over the following days and weeks. Its baseball season, and the historian in every announcer must make an appearance.

Blog Question Of The Day:

What's your favorite song that no one else likes?

I just finished watching the movie 'Deliverance'. I'm going to be honest. I didn't get it. It was so unexciting. It lasts two hours but nothing happens. I think you're supposed to be captivated by the moral dilemma brought forth by what these guys experience but it seems pretty clear-cut to me.

Arrogant city guys go into a backwater county and meet mountain folk. Naturally there's a culture shock.

Stereotype prevails and unlettered mountain ruffians violate a pair of the protagonists.

Revenge ensues.

The movie ends about the way you expect.

Why did it have to take two hours? And what was with the last half hour especially? There was nothing to this movie. Like I said, I think you're supposed to be drawn into the moral question posed by the killings. I guess I'm a little too much from the 'do unto others' school of thought. You mess me up, and I'll return the favor. I think the mountain men deserved it.

Blog Exclamation Of The Day:

Stück Scheiße!!!

Have you ever noticed how the floor gets dirty, even in parts of the house you never use?

I swept the floor today. It needed it. But what I found remarkable was, how much stuff was on the floor in parts of the room I don't use. Take for instance under the table. I don't use my kitchen table. Ever. Its mostly just a place to dump bills and such correspondence and as a place for my mobile recharging station. (I have a power bar dedicated to recharging batteries or things with batteries) There was so many crumbs and grit and such under there. How did that happen? I never use that space.

Isn't this just the most inane blog entry of all time?

I really don't get this. I just finished watching 'Back In' on MuchMoreMusic. They were doing 1992. As they close the episode we learn that Pearl Jam's 'Jeremy' was the number one video of 1992. We also learn that Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart is the number one WORST video of 1992. (I don't disagree)

Here's what I don't get. As the credit roll we have to be subjected to Billy Ray Cyrus' song. WHY!?! You have the opportunity to play a classic Pearl Jam song and instead you play THAT!?!

There are some messed up people in entertainment programming.

WANTED

One girl - must like going to the movies

I've got a sty in my eye.

Can someone explain to me how this happens? Every so often I just end up with one. I read the definition of sty on the internet, and what causes it but frankly, neither one was very helpful. I'm still here with this damn thing poking me in the eyeball, and without a way to get rid of it.

Now if things stay true to normal, it will be gone soon. Which I suppose I should just take comfort in, and stop worrying about it. Nonetheless I'm curious about what I could possibly do to avoid this discomfort at a later time.

Thoughts?

Can someone please explain Wal-Mart to me?

I got up early today, so I could get my errands done before the 'horde' raised itself to begin its weekly binge of consumerism. I was stymied in my attempt by the fact that the first place I had to visit was not open until 10:00. So I couldn't get to Wal-Mart until after that.

And it was already a gong show.

What the hell is with people and this store? Its not so super good that you can't get the same, or similar, prices at half a dozen other places in the city. So why the mad flock to this accursed place? My purpose for going there was that they often have older video games on for cheap, and its about the only place I think of to start my search for an old game I wanted to buy. Otherwise I'd have not darkened its doors.

But why are there so many people there at 10:00 in the morning? Sure, they probably were doing like me, and trying to avoid the screaming horde, but in so doing, they became the screaming horde. I suppose its about saving money but the deals aren't taht good. They're good, no doubt, but not enough to justify what I witnessed.

Go to Zellers people. Go anywhere. Its just a store.

Believe it or not, I don't think I have anything to say today.

Blog Question OF The Day:

Would I be happier if I had a snake?

Which movie was better?

Predator?

Predator 2?

Blog Question For Music Aficionados:

(yes, I just wanted to use the word aficionado)

What's the best Eminem song of all-time?

Today in house news . . .

I got a call from my mortgage lawyer. It seems the property I want to buy has a Writ of Execution lodged against it. Now as it was explained to me, that's kind of like a lien. But when I did a web search on the term, it came back that the house was available for seizure for non-payment of funds. That sounds a little more serious than I got the impression of, from the lawyer.

So it wasn't a stellar day in TELK world.

Blog Question Of The Night:

If they make 'cookie dough' ice cream, do they make 'cookie' ice cream?

Blog Question Of The Day:

What did people use for garbage bags before plastic?

Luckily they are easy to kill

With the coming of the fall colors has arisen one of my arch-enemies . . .

the common housefly

Does anyone just USE software anymore? Do we have to screw with it all the time?

I'm trying to play a video game tonight. Admittedly, I don't log on as often as some. Perhaps that is why I'm so annoyed by this. But I have to patch my game. Patch it to the tune of 65 MB. That seems a little excessive.

Can't they get it right the first time? Why do I need a 65 MB patch? That seems like a lot of repairing to something I'm paying a BOATLOAD of money for. With the monthly subscription we're well into the hundreds of dollars now.

Oh well, my patch is nearly done. I guess I'll go. Any software guys out there, maybe you can heed my plea and write more thorough code. But probably not, because we still keep buying the buggy crap.

Toodles.

I have a meatball in my lung. I think its the right one.

Blog Song Of The Day:

Fallout Boy - Sugar, We're Going Down

B T W . . .

Just how much does body waxing hurt?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Where can the ordinary guy buy the classic cherry bomb?

I was watching 'I, Robot' today at lunch time. I made an interesting observation.

Does your average robotic psychologist really throw on a pair of leather pants before dashing out the door to save the world?

I dunno. It didn't seem like a logical course of action to me.

Blog Question OF The Day:

Have any of you ever seen it rain like this before?

Blog Question (No. 2) Of The Day:

Could my rampant paranoia be, in part, due to a wax build-up in my ears?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I buy new shoes?

I gotta say something.

First of all, you really need to know your venue. Sure, it might be important in Detroit, where everyone carries a handgun, to screen people entering a rock concert. It might be appropriate in that instance. But this is Saskatchewan. The rowdiest thing that might happen here is a drunken fist-fight. And I've seen drunk guys fight before. They are more of a danger to themselves than they are to anyone else.

But even if you deem it necessary to screen everyone entering the building, then for god sake hire some decent security. For all that they are doing, you might as well have no security, than what they had last night.

Here's the hyprocrisy of it. There's six million security staff at the arena for the Pearl Jam concert. (which kicked ass, by the way) But I can walk around like I own the place simply because I look like I know what I'm doing. I had no uniform. My clothing was not adorned with any security passes, or anything that indicated I was staff. And yet I was able to walk backstage with no problem. Security staff covering the entrances to the building did not ask me my purpose. I walked past two security check points and no one acknowledged that I should check with them. There was a nominal metal check at a door, but he didn't ask if I should be there. I wouldn't have had to sign in had I not chosen to, because nobody policed that either.

Hire all the security that you want but if they aren't going to do something, then you might as well have no security at all.

Tuesday Night Poetry:

If you've got a problem,
We don't care.
The line to complain,
starts way over there.

Happiness is . . .

a perfectly cooked Pizza Pop.

I just watched about 30 minutes of 'First Daughter'. It has caused me to reach a very painful conclusion.

Tom Cruise must be stopped from marrying Katie Holmes. She is just FAR too cute to be wasted on him.

Blog Quote Of The Day:

"Uh...I'm don't think I can do that sir"

You know who I feel sorry for right now?

Farmers

Its gotta suck to watch a good crop come up in the field. Nice conditions in the spring and summer to grow a crop. First some rain, to get things going, and then a period of good, warm heat to ripen it and make it ready.

So they go out, like they always do. Cut down the straw and prepare for the harvest.

And then it rains.

A lot.

Inches at a time.

I don't know much about farming, but all those thick swathes that I used to see as I drove along, are awfully damn sad looking now. I hope they can salvage something from this season.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Who am I?

Messages to people I don't seem able to reach:

To the best friend that I wronged . . . I am sorry.

For the girl that doesn't get it . . . go away.

For reasons that defy any attempt on my part to justify, I watched the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen visit MuchMusic special tonight. Having done this, I can reach only one conclusion.

Mary-Kate Olsen has a serious drug problem.

I need to complain about something. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter that much but it still pissed me off.

I'm going home for lunch today. If you take the road that goes in front of my office, you have to stop at Main Street for a stop sign. Main Street is the through-road, so both east and west roads must stop.

I do as instructed. I get to Main Street, and I come to a full and complete stop. I was there well before the idiot blonde in the car that was coming at me from the other side. And as there was no traffic coming in either direction on Main Street, I decided to make my left hand turn.

This twink blonde, in her selfish, indulgent way barely even acknowledges the stop sign, and plows right across the road in front of me. HELLO!?!!?! Turning left here!!!

Is it wrong to arm your vehicle with anti-tank weapons, for just such an occasion as this?

Blog Poll Of The Day: (Part One)

Who has seen '40 Year Old Virgin'?

(Part Two)

Do nice guys finish last?

Is it gay that I actually like the newest Hilary Duff song? Not because its Hilary Duff, but because I like the song for its musical attributes?

Blog Question Of The Day:

What foodstuffs belong in a Chicken Club?

Blog Question Of The Day:

What's wrong with people that save a whole album as ONE mp3 file?

What the hell is wrong with some people!?!

I checked my cell phone just now and someone phoned me at quarter after ten at night. At night!?! Don't I get to be 'off the clock' for at least a little while? It just so happens I was sleeping at 10:15 last night. Granted, it was on the couch, but the point remains.

There should be a maximum allowable time of day people are allowed to call you. Obviously there are exceptions, like if someone has exciting news, or something monumental happens. To just call for the sake of it, that late at night, is rude.

At least that's what I think. Anyone care to argue me?

Can someone explain to me why some days Blogger will load, and others it stalls out?

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you were deciding the menu for a gourmet feast, which entree would be your lead selection?

a) chicken cordon bleu
b) pork tenderloin
c) prime rib of beef
d) rack of lamb

I fixed my VCR.

Thoughts about food. . .

I love Diet Orange Crush

What about ranch dressing makes it 'ranch'?

If you make a mistake doing whatever it is you were just doing, just say:

"I was trippin' balls when I did that"

We have crossed one more hurdle in the unstoppable march towards the purchase of a house. The funds for my down-payment were transferred into my account this afternoon. I have completed the last of my requirements to make this house purchase go. All that remains is for the seller to clear up their legal pronouncements, and we finally close the deal.

I am excited tonight!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Was Star Wars: Episode Three the best of the Star Wars movies?

Blog Recommendation Of The Day:

Don't try to watch Star Wars while you drive.

A couple of things . . .

Why does serving Smirnoff Ice vodka drinks always make me crave 7-Up?

If my internet use practices are so unsafe, why is it that Trend Micro Housecall and Spybot Search & Destroy never find any problems with my system?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why exactly, is it that we are supposed to let the good times 'roll'?