Blog Question Of The Day:

Does my head look freakishly small on top of my large frame?

I swear on something holy we live in a god damn cultural wasteland. There is nothing but blindness and blandness, no matter which direction you turn. Every attempt to think in a manner that is counter to the herd and you get trampled by the stupid, unwashed masses as they rush towards sameness and normalcy.

I went to the mall recently. My purpose was to buy a St. Louis Cardinals baseball jersey. They won the World Series and I was going to commemorate the occasion by acquiring their jersey for my collection.

First of all I just want to say that the whole Halloween thing has been grossly misappropriated. I’m downtown at the mall and there are all these stupid people dressed up in costumes. I’m not a big fan of a costume on even the best of occasions but I don’t need to see fairies and people with robot heads walking around the mall while I’m trying to get something done. Frankly I think its kind of stupid, and infantile.

Bygones.

So I go to the one place in Saskatoon that might have the article I am pursuing. It might have piqued my wrath already, had I stopped to consider there was only one place in all of Saskatoon where I might find this item. I wasn’t that far ahead in my thinking at the time. I peruse the store, looking for my jersey and to my great dismay they had nothing.

Then I got mad.

How god damn pathetic is it that, in a city of close to a quarter MILLION people, we:

a) have only one store that sells a wide array of sports jerseys and
b) they don’t have the World Series champions in their inventory!?!

What did they have for selection? About 100 different Saskatchewan Roughrider jerseys. All that had been appliquéd with names/numbers so that they could be premium priced at $169.99. Failing that you could get an Edmonton Oilers jersey. Where the HELL were they back in June? Or, if you happened to be stupid enough to like baseball, there were an assortment of Toronto Blue Jays shirts hanging disconsolately, way at the back of the store.

Is this what we’ve degenerated to? You can like The Riders, the Oilers or the Jays, and other than that you can go stick it in the left ear? Oh, they MIGHT have something else, but its just one sample, and its probably the wrong size, or it’s the away jersey when you wanted the home one. Christ, would it kill us to have some halfway decent shopping options in this outpost on the road to oblivion? How many times do I have to go shopping for something, and not be able to find it? This shouldn’t even have been that obscure. They won the bloody World Series!!!

By this time I was just wound right up about the injustice that is shopping in Saskatoon. I pay my $0.75 for 10 minutes worth of shopping and high-tail it out of the Midtown Plaza mall.

What’s my solace as I drive down Idylwyld, back to a job I don’t like, and that doesn’t like me? God damn Supertramp!!! Christ and bloody hell are we ever gonna stop playing this worn-out re-tread crap!?! This music was annoying twenty years ago, when they were playing it in the 80’s. Why in George’s name are we still being subjected to this piss-poor, deluge of liquefied excrement!?!

If its not Supertramp then we get Trooper. If its not Trooper then they play Rush. Failing that we might get that same god damn Eagles song we’ve heard 800 million times! It never ends.

They wonder why the radio format is dead, and people download music, play iPods in their cars, and burn custom CD’s. They play the same re-tread crap all the time!!! Its 2006 already! I don’t want to hear a Rush song from 1982. The damn Eagles might as well be dead. And Supertramp and Trooper were garbage when they had their first go around. I don’t wanna hear that crap on the radio!!! Play something new! Play something good. Hell, play something new AND good! Just don’t subject me to the same washed out, bland, corporate friendly, meal-ticket sheep-dip that we hear on the radio every damn day. If I NEVER hear Supertramp again, that would be just fine. Shoot Rush in the face. The sound of their brains on the wall would be better than the dreck they pretend is music. Trooper may be Canada’s party band, but not at any parties that people actually go to.

I just want something good, something real. I swear to heaven there must be some new bands out there, struggling to be heard. Let’s play them! Frankly I’d rather hear some crappy new song, from a group I’ve never heard of, then another bloody Supertramp medley of tripe songs that couldn’t get any more pathetic. Maybe New Band X will suck but at least it wouldn't be by repetition. Another chorus of ‘take it on the run baby’ is likely to make me hurl.

I was at the arena tonight, slinging beer to the uninterested. I made a few observations.

Chris seems to really enjoy the beverage gun

A Caesar, a drink I am sure tastes like the foulest swill on the planet, actually looks more appealing when the salt rim is correctly applied.

There are just some people that are patently stupid. There can be only one person standing, available to serve customers, and there is a group of idiots that will, beyond all sense of reason, still stand half the bar away to make their drink order.

People are slobs. When they are done with their current drink, rather than take the 10 steps to the garbage can, will just leave it on the bar. Sick!

Not for the faint of heart!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why don't they put potato on a pizza?

Congratulations Riders!

Did anyone else get the impression that Kenton Keith had made up his mind that he wasn't going to lose that football game?

I was watching college football this afternoon. Canadian college football. I know, this seems like a peculiar thing to do. When has Canadian college sports garnered any interest from the Canadian media.

Nevertheless, The Score was carrying a Western Ontario game, so I tuned it in. The game itself was unremarkable, but the coverage of it was even less. However, at least they had the game on TV, as opposed to playing some stupid-ass poker tournament. I know they had to fill the schedule with something when hockey went DOA but hasn't interest in poker disappeared now that hockey is back? Why is this shit still on TV?

But I digress . . .

All of this is leading up to a Blog Question Of The Day:

Do those of you that have graduated from a major Canadian college, care about the fate of your college's sports teams? Or is there as little interest from you as there is from our sports media in this country?

I am Spartacus Boy. I will be boycotting this moronic Borat movie. Who's with me?

P.S. 10 points to anyone that can name the reference

I want to take this opportunity to say a few words about baseball. I'm watching the World Series and I can help but be agitated by this annoying custom they have during the 7th inning stretch. I don't believe this is a custom for every game that gets played. Rather, I think they drag it out for the playoffs and I find that kind of offensive.

Why do we have to have 'God Bless America' sang during the 7th inning stretch? What about this occasion suggests that we have to have more overweening praise for the dominant country on the planet. Maybe God does bless America but I have a feeling that would go equally for any country on earth. Even Afghanistan or, god forbid, Iraq. Any kind hearted diety would not discriminate.

Oh, and another thing, as it pertains to tonight's game, and tonight's singer of the 'God Bless America'. If you're going to appear on national TV with the eyes of the world watching you, it would serve you well to go out the afternoon before and buy a decent pair of pants.

I've had enough!

I still and watch TV at night. And every night I'm subjected to the same damn thing. I'm sick of it. It has to go.

I'm referring to this Rogers Wireless commercial. The guy is with his buddies at a diner. He's on the phone with his girlfriend. And in a touching moment he goes to end the conversation and says 'I love you.' Then there is this awful, pregnant pause as he waits for her response.

GAG!!!

After going all mooshy in the knees, the girl replies that she loves him too. All of the tension in the overly dramatic pause is gone, and everyone is happy again.

Except me.

I hate this commercial so much. If the damn girl cared at all about the guy, she wouldn't pause for 2/3 of a standard 30 second commercial before answering her supposed 'love'. And damn Rogers for subjecting us to such overwrought hystrionics.

Bring on the beer commercials.

WoW Question Of The Day:

If you quit the game with the Sword of 1000 Truths in your inventory, does it cease to exist?

Things That Piss Me Off:

Do you know what pisses me off? These idiots that go to the gas station and can't figure out how to park at the pump. I go into my favorite gas station tonight, to put a few bucks worth in the tank to tide me through until the end of the week. The place is busy and there's one spot empty for me to fill at. I pull into position and why do I find?

This idiot has parked nearly perfectly between the two pumps, such that I can only barely get my handle to the back of my truck where the tank is.

I hate that! Park with some danm courtesy. Someone would like to use the pump behind your wide-load ass!!

Well, this is interesting!

I now have a pet. Its a cat. A little black one. She arrived on my doorstep courtesy of my sister. Actually, I was already familiar with this little kitty because she vacationed at my house the week my sister and her husband were in Mexico on their vacation. I guess she must have liked it here because she's come back.

Its a little tough to know right now what my new little buddy is thinking. Even though she spent the week here before, she's scooting around the house right now, checking things out. Hopefully she'll come out of her shell before long and we can play together.

Originally the cat's name was Simon. Then the original owner discovered it was not a male cat. Oops! But the name stuck. I have decided to alter it just a touch and re-christen the cat Simone. A girl cat should have a girl name.

I'm going to go back to chasing Simone and see if I can get a fix on how she's feeling. Everyone say HI to Simone!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Can someone please tell me why they are playing a Raisin Bran commercial from 1982 during tonight's Monday Night Football game!?!

Ladies and gentlemen,

of Edmonton Eskimo fan club of 2006,

I have one piece of advice for you.

No matter what Danny Maciocia tells you,

There will be no playoffs for you.

NONE!

Oh, there will be playoffs this year,

But just not for you.

You wanted to be invited,

But everyone said no.

There will be no playoffs for the Eskimos.

Things That Piss Me Off:



I developed a new goal for myself, starting this week. I want to get to work earlier. The point of this goal is, so I can take a full hour for lunch, and make my work-day a little more comfortable. To accomplish this goal I have to get up a little bit earlier in the morning, and be more efficient in getting ready. The hardest part of this plan is to get up the few minutes earlier it takes to achieve my goal.



I did everything right this morning. I was up the few minutes earlier. I was more efficient in completing my morning routine. I was out the door and ready to drive away almost perfectly in line with my goal. I even showed the foresight to begin warming the vehicle with the remote start feature.



But what betrayed my plan? What evil caused me to be late (according to my schedule)?



FROST



I hate frost! It drives me berserk. Especially on a morning like this. The whole plan is predicated on things happening on a set schedule. Needing 10 minutes to scrape the diamond hard frost off ALL of my windows was not in the plan. Now I can live with frost, if I know its going to be there. Usually frost is not that big of a deal. You scrape it off and away you go. But this morning, apparently because I was trying to follow a schedule, it had to be the hardest frost in the history of humanity. I had to lean into the scraper with the full weight of my considerable bulk, just to get this accursed coating off my windows. And each window seemed worse than the last. I was nearly foaming at the mouth by the time I got all the way around my truck.

Blog Question Of The Day 1:

Is there anything more annoying than getting food stuck in your teeth?


I was eating ribs for supper today. First of all, is it just me or does it seem like pork is the more commonly offending culprit for when you get food in your teeth? That and corn. I don't know why but I get corn stuck in my teeth from time to time.

Anyway, I'm eating this rib and you know how you can just tell when you've gotten food down between the teeth, and lodged in the gums? I had that feeling instantaneously. I knew this was going to be a floss moment.

I finish the meal, because why clean out when its likely to get plugged again? But I was no sooner finished and I went to floss. Now I just moved into my own domicile again about a month ago, so I can't be sure of where anything is, and if I have it, whether I'll find it. To my great surprise I have floss. So I use some.

I really didn't think it was possible to store that much food in one's mouth. I swear I pulled half my supper out from between those two teeth.



Blog Question Of THe Day 2:

Is there any feeling of relief more satisfying then flossing out your teeth when you know there's something in there?

My new favorite snack is Cheezies.

I just want to warn everyone. I have a NASTY cat infestation in my house! 8-D

My new specialty is making Chef Boyardee ravioli. I'm actually pretty good at it!

For the record . . .

I LOATHE the new Old Navy commercial with the dog on the clothesline.

Just so you know . . .

there is a HOT TUB in my backyard!!!

For whoever may read this, please come to my house for the weekend. There will be fun in the sun.

Toodles!

My new favorite show is . . .

'So Little Time'

For the record . . .

I have a surprisingly large amount of Cat-5 network cable.

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you're at the point of having sex with someone, how important is it that they be physically attractive?

If the end of a 4” circular pressure vessel, that was under a sustained pressure of 150 psi, were to break apart, the circular end cap would leave the vessel at 102 mph, and hit you with a force of 1885 lb.

Do you know what my favorite thing about MySpace is? Going to various people's sites and getting new song ideas.

MySpace Song Suggestion Of The Night:

30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill

I am going to say something that might not be the most popular comment I've ever made but nevertheless I think it needs saying.

It is not wise to have free and uncontrolled alcohol available at a staff social event when there are people at, or below, the legal drinking age.

What in the hell is the deal with catering companies? I really don't understand how they can be this dense.

I attended a lunch meeting today. Its a tele-conference, with half the people in Saskatoon and the other half in Regina. We are meeting in the offices of an engineering company so obviously we need to send out to a caterer for the meal.

Its pretty standard fare. We get pre-packaged soup and a tray of finger sandwiches. I didn't do a count but there must have been a dozen of those triangular finger sandwiches that you can finish in three bites. I'm pretty hungry since I didn't have any breakfast today. I reach for a sandwich and what do I find?

Mustard! MUSTARD!!! Every single, god damn sandwich has mustard on it. Trust me, I checked, it was on each one.

What the hell is the deal with that? Why do they all have to have mustard on them? I hate mustard. It tastes like wet dog feces. And because I'm so god awfully hungry I have to eat one. Somehow managed to block out the flavor of camel piss concentrated into paste form. But the sandwich was consumed for sustenance and not for enjoyment.

And further more, if they do have to put mustard on every sandwich, why do they have to apply it with a spackle trowel? I've seen the stucco finish on houses that weren't as applied as thick.

Thank god I had a decent supper tonight. Otherwise it'd be tough to hear the TV over my grumbling stomach.

I am developing the biggest crush on Dirty Marie.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Is $2.00 for a single, individually wrapped Pizza Pop a reasonable price?

Blog Question Of The Day:

If it had been up to you, would you have made Anakin Skywalker a Master when he was elevated to the Jedi Council?

There is something about World of Warcraft that I don't understand.

How can you make ONE steak out of TWO pieces of tiger meat?

I saw some Winnipeg Blue Bomber fans today at the Wal-Mart. There was about eight of them, although it never occurred to me to take a specific count. They had on jerseys and hats, and were drinking from Blue Bomber mugs. One of them was flying a huge Winnipeg Blue Bombers flag, the kind that you'd see on a large flagpole. The procession of them walking down the road at Wal-Mart made it look like a parade.

I had an overwhelming urge to roll down my window and shout,

"I SUPPORT YOUR GAY PRIDE!!!!!"

I just finished watching Return Of The Jedi. As I was finishing it, I had to ask a question. Why was Luke so caught up on who and what his father was? As it turned out, his mother was equally as spectacular a intergalactic celebrity. Shouldn't he have been as concerned about who his mother was?

I've spent the past few days converting my VHS copies of the Star Wars movies to DVD. Its a reasonably pointless task to attempt, but then I'm reasonably pointless myself. Nevertheless, as part of the project I have to preview the burned disk to make sure it is error free. Less important with these projects because my copies of the Star Wars movies are permanent. Nevertheless I have previewed the first three (in order of production) and have a few observations.

Darth Vader really lost his menace from the first to the third movie. In Star Wars Vader was the ultimate bad-ass. Then in the second one he goes from being this frightening automaton-like creature, into something human. His 'Luke, I am your father' line just freezes you in place. And well, in the third one he turns out to be a crusty old white man, so that kind of decimates the evil Darth Vader myth.

Princess Leia definitely gets more attractive from Star Wars to Return of the Jedi. Not that she was ugly or anything in the first one. Far from it. At the end of Star Wars, during the medal ceremony, she is five alarm five hot. But most of Star Wars she spends with this cinnamon buns on her ears, and I don't care if you're Helen of Troy, you just can't pull that off. Empire she looked good, and there's no complaints but by Jedi, she was on fire. First there's that dancer-girl outfit on Jabba's yacht, but its in the forest where you really see it. She radiates like the princess she's been proclaimed for two movies.

George Lucas has gotten a bad rap about the quality of direction and the script between the original three movies, and the second prequel trilogy. Let's be honest, some of the work in those first three movies is utter tripe. Now we'll forgive it, because these movies are classics to us. But let's be objective. Like in the prequels, there are segments of the original that are so wooden that you'd buy them as discount lumber in Home Depot. One in particular that stands out is the medical bay scene Empire. Overall its a good scene because it plays to a good plot point; jealousy between Han and Luke over Leia. But the chemistry that is SUPPOSED to exist among these characters is not evident in the scene. They telegraph the payoff of the scene from about 26 miles away. And a couple of the lines are delivered with all the flair of a train wreck. Overall I thought the, romantic tension, at the beginning of Empire was handled with the grace of a rhinoceros on roller skates.

Next on my agenda is to convert the newest three Star Wars movies to DVD. I am sure after I do that I will have another series of observations to share. Until then . . .

For the record . . .

Computer based rips of VHS movies are NOT DVD quality substitutes.

Its a pretty good indication that the concert is a stinker when you're sitting in the middle of the opening act and you can't stop from yawning with the deepness of the Pacific Ocean.

Have you ever completely unwrapped a Mr. Big chocolate bar and set it on the table naked. It really does look like a turd.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why are the little white pills always the hardest ones to keep in your hand?

I know I just did this one a few weeks ago, but it bears mentioning again based on my experiences this weekend. I am truly in disbelief about something and would dearly love if someone could explain it to me.

What in the HELL is the deal with flip flops!?!

Personally, I find them more irritating that a tick bite inside the ear. I couldn't possibly fathom wearing the accursed things for any length of time. There is absolutely no way I would consider wearing these blasted things on my feet if I had to do any kind of walking.

But here I was, at the air show, and I couldn't stop looking at people's feet. I'm not sure why it started, or what made the compulsion persist, but my over-riding pre-occupation was to gauge what people were wearing on their feet. And there was an appalling percentage of people (mostly young girls I will admit) that were wearing these stupid flip-flop shoes.

My feet are raw tonight, and I was driving, or riding, a Kawasaki Mule most of the day. These idiotic people were wandering around the uneven infield of the Saskatoon Airport in these stupid pieces of cork they call shoes. How can you possibly fathom doing that much walking on something as insignificant as a $0.99 pair of shoes?

At one point I found myself inside the main concession tent with little else to do but wait. And my foot checking compulsion was in full effect. The girls providing the food service were wearing flip-flops! What the hell kind of asinine choice is that? There's any one of a dozen things that could fall on your foot when you're working in that environment, and you've got nothing covering an essentually bare foot. Let us not forget that again, you're spending multiple hours standing, serving people, wearing nothing on your foot to cushion it from the hard reality of our mother earth but a cheap, Taiwanese manufacturer piece of plastic cork-board. I can't help but question the reasoning power of a person that would make this choice.

If anyone knows the answer to the irresistable lure of the flip-flop I would certainly like to know. Without this crucial piece of wisdom, I am forced to continue my shaking head at the lunacy.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I download MandiModel pictures?

I have two questions tonight . . .

1) Does anyone have a cure for this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach?

2) What should I do with my $100 Costco gift card?

Things That Piss Me Off:

I need something explained to me. Explained, as if you were talking to a three year old.

How can the damn server for World Of Warcraft crash so often? These guys have 5 million subscribers, if not more, all paying $20 a month for the privilege of playing this game. By the newest of math that's 100 million dollars a month. That's a lot of money. How in the hell is it that they can't keep the damn hardware stable!?! For that kind of money, they ought to be able to just throw money at any problem they encounter.

World of Warcraft

Today, at 2:15 local time, the Warrior known was Telkor, in the region of Felwood, did slay the demon Xavaric. And in doing so, he acquired enough experience points (XP) to reach the exalted status of Level 60.

All hail . . . Telkor, King Ding-A-Ling!!!

I think I would rather shoot myself in the abdomen than watch six back-to-back episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond.

I love Wikipedia.

Words can not begin to express what I experienced today.

So I won't try.

Blog Sports News:

Today in golf, at the Saskatoon Wildwood Open, Wayne Guenther completed the final round with a 78, for a three round total of 245, to win the 3rd flight by two shots.

When asked to comment he replied, 'I finally had a good round.'

Aishwarya Rai is incredibly hot.

I'm just going to throw this out there. Maybe I'm right and maybe I'm wrong. But I have an idea for this whole Hezbollah-Israel crisis.

We take away their guns.

They can go ahead and have all the war they want. They can war it up until the end of time. But they can't shoot bombs or bullets at each other. They have to go at it, hand to hand. Or stick to stick, or rock to rock. They can kill each other to their hearts content, but they gotta look in the eye the guy they are killing.

I have a feeling that 99.9% of them will lose their nerve to make war when they gotta look another human being in the face before they smash a rock into it. Its pretty easy to play the 'big man' role when you order a rocket strike on people from 300 miles away. Its not quite so easy to kill a bunch of people when you have to do it, one by one, by knocking them in the head with a crooked stick.

If the rest of the world could all make a pact to not let these idiots in the Middle East have any guns, or bombs, or rockets or military hardware, maybe this thing could be put to some kind of rest. Of course we won't do that, because there's too much money and pride in continuing war. But its a nice idea.

Kylie Ireland has the BEST radio voice I have ever heard.

I have a question about sub sandwiches.

What the hell is the deal with all the lettuce!?!

I have never understood this. You go to any of the major sub sandwich places (Quiznos excluded because they run the sandwich through that crematorium for bread) and you get about half a pound of lettuce on your sandwich.

Why!?!

First of all, to the best of my knowledge, no one gets a sandwich for the lettuce.

'Hi, I'd like a chicken sandwich. Can I have extra lettuce and please, go light on the chicken.'

That just doesn't happen. Lettuce is a garnish, and a poor one at that. Does lettuce even have any kind of distinguishable taste? It seems more likely that the lettuce is there just to give the sandwich bulk and make you feel a little better about the $8 you're spending on a sub.

Given that its there just to provide bulk, do they have to go so ape with it? I bought a sub today and the guy couldn't wrap it properly because of the bushel of lettuce he put on the bun. I don't think I should have to say 'go light on the lettuce' when I order a sandwich. I like a little lettuce on my bread, because it makes it crunch, and like I said, I feel better about my $8. My god, when I need a special lifting apparatus, and specific structural support for my bun, because the lettuce is overflowing, I consider that a problem.

And that's my last complaint. You order a sub, they put a yard of lettuce on it, and when you go to eat it, 96% of the surplus lettuce falls out. So they slice up lettuce to put on my sandwich, only to have it fall out and eventually end up in the garbage. This is just wasteful. Plus I feel slightly morose about throwing away a pile of lettuce that's more copious than the grass clipping when I mow the 4 acres of yard at my old house. But I'm not going to eat the lettuce all by itself, because like I said earlier, lettuce has no distinguishable taste.

So, in conclusion, I would like to say, sub sub operators, knock it off with the lettuce. Let's bring the application of it back to reality.

World of Warcraft News

Ballzelf is a homo

World Of Warcraft News

If someone in your party turns you into a bat, it does NOT grant you the power to fly.

World Of Warcraft News

Quote of the Night: 'One's down! Two's down! I'm down!!! WTF!?!'

Signs of the Personal Apocalypse

You can begin to have a sense of finality about your descent into social insignificance when you click the 'Invite Friends' button on the social networking site MySpace and the website gives you an error and shuts down.

Lance Bass of N'Sync is gay.

This is about as surprising as the sun setting in the west.

World of Warcraft News

Anyone that can decipher:

LF2M 4 UBRS!!!

is a homo

Things That Piss Me Off:

The City of Saskatoon and their parking meters have earned my wrath.

I had to go downtown today for a doctor's appointment. It is something I'm beginning to dread because it seems to cause me parking grief every time. I park near the office building I need, about 3/4 of a block down. I found a spot, which given my experience from yesterday, seems incredible.

Like a good citizen I put my dollar in the meter. Plunk, it goes. Nothing registers on the display. WTF!?! Maybe its broken. I put my quarter in. Plunk it goes, and up comes 0:15 on the display. WTF!?!

The damn machine ate my dollar. Now I can't put another dollar in, because I only brought just enough coin to plug one meter, for exactly as long as I planned to stay. So I'm effectively screwed. I have to walk away and accept that I'm getting a parking ticket.

Does this not seem wrong? I would like to complain to someone because I did put my dollar in, they are going to collect it, and I shouldn't have a ticket. Of course this is a complete waste of my time and I'll just pay the ticket and go on with my life. But doesn't something like this violate the law of karmic goodness or something?

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you could take in anything you wanted, or had anything delivered that you wanted, could you live for a week inside a bathroom stall?

The management of the Saskatchewan Roughriders football team should be ashamed of themselves.

At the end of the first half of yesterday's football game, the quarterback for the Toronto Argonauts got absolutely rocked. He was hit so hard that his helmet flew off, and rolled five yards away. At the conclusion of the play, he lay on the field, unwilling to get up.

The quarter was over and the teams headed off to their dressing rooms for halftime. Toronto's quarterback, Spergon Wynn, did not accompany his teammates. He remained immobile on the turf. The training staff huddled around him, attempting to attend to his injury. A few people become a lot of people, as considerable concern was placed on what had happened to him.

Meanwhile, the half time show amassed on the field, ready to spring into action and perform their routine. Yesterday's event was supposed to be a couple of hundred little girls, who had attended a cheerleading camp, performing a choreographed sequence.

Now I get that this is perhaps the only chance these girls will ever have to appear on the field at a pro sports event. I appreciate this is a big deal for them. However, this Toronto player appeared to be seriously injured. Not broken leg and couldn't walk injured, but stretcher, back-board and ambulance injured. The Toronto quarterback was being treated as if he had a major injury.

After a brief pause, they let these little cheerleaders onto the field to do their dance. It was the most classless thing I have ever seen. Little girls and their Trailblazer captains, are running, and dancing on the field while this football player is being loaded onto a back-board, for transport on a stretcher. These girls are cavorting and playing around group of medical people, huddled over an immobile football player on the field. These stupid patterns they are trying to perform are disrupted by the ambulance that comes onto the field to pick up the injured football player. It was surreal in its lunacy how they would carry out the ultimately pointless half-time show, when a player had suffered what appeared to be potentially devasting injury.

I, for one, thought that continuing with the half-time show, when a Toronto player was down with a serious injury, was both disrespectful and inappropriate. Show some class and get the player off the field before you provide entertainment.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Can anyone explain to me who would be STUPID enough to fill out a mortgage application that came to you in an unsolicited email that linked to a Geocities webpage?

World of Warcraft News

Anything Elite sucks.

I bought gas today.

Why aren't we rising up in protest about this? I spent $82 to fill my tank today. Granted it was almost empty but that kind of bill seems like a touch much. Isn't this the type of thing that other people around the world would riot about? Why is there no mass assemblage in the streets about how we are being systematically sodomized at the pumps?

I'd pay $1.159 a liter for gas if I was getting something for my money. If I knew I was going to drive on perfect roads, because I was paying this much for gas, then okay. I drive around this province and its damn near required that you have the ground clearance of a 4x4. If my tank was being filled with gasoline compiled half of ethanol, then I'd be okay with the price. If it was the cost of progress, and the move from a non-renewable, to a renewable resource then okay, I'll pay the luxury tax.

But one dollar and sixteen cents per LITER so some Arab, or Albertan producer, or worse and American processor, can get fat and lazy because he has a a precious commodity, that just sticks in my throat. Or more well said, I would like it to get stuck in my pocketbook. Canada is one of the world's leading producers of petroleum, and I still wait nine months for surgery, watch our military helicopters crash into the ocean, and pay more per capita for income tax than anyone short of Holland. And at least they have legal drugs and prostitution.

At $1.159 a liter, I want to know, what's in it for me?

I am going to CLERKS II on opening weekend.

Who's with me!?!?!?!

I just noticed something.

There is a direct parallel between the two Quentin Tarantino films, Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. (I group both Kill Bill films together because they are, in essence, one film) One of the heroes in each film, who are actually villians, if you stopped to think about it, have a revelation, and recant their ways. At one specific, precise moment in time, their lives change, and they trade their villianous ways for a path that is more virtuous.

In Pulp Fiction, Jules and Vincent are shot at by a crazy kid with a hand cannon. He fires off every round he has, from close range, and doesn't hit them a single time. After this event, Jules decides to abandon his so-called evil ways, and walk the earth. This is in apparent reference to the David Carradine TV show, Kung Fu. David Carradine is one of the stars of . . .

Kill Bill, where the heroine of the movie, Beatrix Kiddo has her own epiphany, 7/8 of the way through the second movie, where she realizes she is pregnant. As she later explains in the flashback that presents this event, this was the moment that she realized that she couldn't be a killer, and a mother, in the same breath. So, like Jules, she abandons her evil ways. She doesn't go back to Bill, let him think she is dead, and tries to start a new life as someone's wife, and a mother, and a simple music store clerk. And if you've seen the movie, you know how that works out.

Its also curious that in both movies, the reformed villian, has a moment where they are tested in their resolve on this new path. In Pulp Fiction Jules has to talk Ringo and Funny Bunny out of pushing him to kill them. Guns are in people's faces, and its very tense, but he manages to escape the situation without busting a cap in their asses, as he so succinctly puts it. Likewise, in Kill Bill, Beatrix has to talk another assassin out of making her kill her, at the moment of her revelation. Beatrix could easily have dispatched her so-called dispatcher. But instead she finds a way out of the situation that does not involve bloodshed.

Now I don't know if these parallels were intended, or they just kind of happened. Nevertheless, it is interesting to note them. Or maybe it just seems so because its 1:30 in the morning.

Blog Question Of The Day:

If someone gave you $1,000,000 and said you had thirty days to spend it, on things you could get inside your house, what would you purchase?

Grant's House Of Style

You can not wear flip flops with jeans.

I don't really think you can wear flip flops any time. They are about the most useless piece of footwear I have ever seen. I have serious issues with anyone that wears them as normal footwear. The flip flop was never intended to be worn as a shoe for daily use. It has, as its only practical application, the walk to the pool or the beach from your hotel room. Or, if you happen to be someone luxurious enough to have a lush backyard, then you can wear it for trips through the foliage.

But you can't wear them with jeans.

The very concept of wearing flip flops with a pair of jeans creates a ludicrous contradiction. What are you? Are you dressed for rugged outdoor-ness? Are you casually strolling through the garden? It is an unresolvable dichotomy. On one hand you have your jeans on, and you're dressed for polite society or a day of work. Then I look at your feet and their basically naked. Oh, except you have this pad of plastic cork attached to your foot with a flimsy plastic cord. You look like a moron. You look like an ass. As politically incorrect as it is to say, you look like a homo.

Just don't do it. Spare yourself the ridicule of being stared at and pointed towards. Spare us the indignation of having to get upset by such an asinine choice of footwear.

Just get some regular sandals. It amounts to the same thing, but doesn't look as gay.

P.S. Don't wear socks with your sandals.

If you look closely, you will notice that today's date is 7/11.

Don't you think we should all go out for Slurpees?

World of Warcraft News:

Foder is a homo

Blog Fake Website Of The Day:

http://www.bakedpotatoesargross.com/

Blog Poll Of The Day:

Who do you like better?

A) Angelina Jolie
B) Brad Pitt

Leave it to Future Shop to be a complete gong show.

I go to that accursed store to get myself a Sirius satellite radio. I'm driving to Watson and back by myself tomorrow and that's a lot of boredom to handle at one time. So I thought I'd get myself a radio and listen to something while I travelled the highways.

The buying was not such a big deal. I found what I wanted and it was $20 cheaper than I'd expected so it worked out really well. The portable electronics guy rang up my purchase and all I had to do was get my products swiped for de-magnetization and I was ready to go home.

Future Shop had ONE clerk manning the front.

What the hell is that? Sure, its only Friday night and they're not that busy, but just one clerk? There were ten people lined up to pay and/or clear the magnetic gateway. And they have one poor schmuck that's supposed to handle all of this. Some retarded floor manager is just rocking on her heels over by customer service but ringing people through the till is not HER responsibility. So the typical wait for service at the Future Shop front counter remains ten deep, even though its Friday night and not a busy time in the store.

Can someone please explain to me why, like lemmings, we continue to frequent these non-customer friendly establishments?

I need an opportunity to vent. This is nothing I have any hope of affecting any kind of positive change on. The only hope I have for a sense of improved emotion is to speak out about it, loudly.

I just got screwed out of $1330.

I think we all know about credit card promotions. If you sign up with X card they'll give you Y number of Air Miles, or some other commodity the scale of which is absurdly small, relative to what you've spent to get it. I, with my MasterCard, had something called FirstHome Dollars. What this plan did was, for every X number of dollars I spent with my MasterCard, the credit card company would chip in some almost infinitessimally small amount towards a down payment on a house.

Normally this would be a good arrangement for the credit card company. Who waits long enough to buy a house to accumulate any meaningful amount of credit in their account? What worked against MasterCard in this instance is, I've had this card, and this plan since the day it was issued to be, back when I was 18. That's a long time and a lot of purchases on which to accumulate FirstHome Dollars. So it stands to reason that I'd amass quite a few.

As you all know, I'm buying a home now. So by the obvious extension, I want my FirstHome Dollars. So I phone up the good people at MasterCard and ask them to forward my money. At first the guy didn't know what I was talking about but a couple of prods and he got the point. He was happy to fulfill my request and told me he had to close out my account. I didn't care as I'm only buying one FirstHome.

So the statement comes in the mail today. I was all excited as this was half my downpayment. I open the letter and it says $2500 on it. What the hell is this!?! That's only 2/3 of my money! Where's MY MONEY!!!

I fretted about it for about an hour and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know what the story about this was. So I called up MasterCard and asked them what the hell was the deal with this? The guy again didn't know what I was talking about but he went off the line for a couple of minutes and got the scoop for me.

Apparently you are only allowed to withdraw a maximum of $2500 from your FirstHome Dollars account at any one time.

What the HELL is up with that!?! Under what logic would you ever buy two FirstHome's?

The explanation I got was, you could transfer the remaining balance to a close family member, like a son or daughter. Now explain to me, how would I have a child that could use this, if I'm getting my FirstHome now?

Idiots! So now I'm out $1300 and I don't feel particularly good about it. If any of you want to switch from MasterCard to VISA in protest, feel free to join me.

I had perhaps one of the most annoying moments of my life this morning.

Earlier I told the story of how I went to the medical clinic and they gave me grief about how I didn't have a current health services card. If you look at your card you'll see there's a number on the back you can call, about updates to your information and getting a new card.

So I called the number.

This is how pathetic things have gotten with these phone-in procedures. They want you to call in but you don't even get an actual, live person. They make you leave a series of messages, based on pre-recorded questions.

What's your name, including correct spelling?

What is your address?

What is your home and work phone number?

After each question is a repetition of the same, three option menu. Do you want to hear the options again? Do you want to re-record your answer? Do you want to continue? The whole ordeal makes you feel like a trained circus seal. Which might not be so bad but it makes you feel like an autistic trained circus seal.

Saskatchewan Health should be shot, stabbed, pissed on, scraped up and deposited in a hole full of feces for foisting such an abomination on us. If I wanted to feel any more neglected, abused and taken for granted, I'd probably actually use the Saskatchewan health services system.

All around, I give the experience a fat ZERO.

Wednesday . . . both a blessing and a curse.

Blessing - I got the second half of my tax refund.

Curse - The almost endless patch for World of Warcraft.

I think the best part of being the controller in a company has to be handing out the pay stubs every two weeks. It must feel kinda like being Santa Claus.

If . . .

. . . you are playing World of Warcraft, and

If . . .

. . . you are questing at the north end of Felwood and

If . . .

. . . you are a Level 60 King Ding-a-Ling and

If . . .

. . . you are killing Deadwood furbolgs

Knock It Off Already!!! I'm trying to complete the damn quest!!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Is it possible to buy a brand new IROC?

Things That Piss Me Off:

I haven't really teed off on anyone lately but I think the time has come.

I went to the medical clinic this afternoon. I've had these blood tests outstanding for quite some time and it occurred to me that if I went right after lunch, I could satisfy the condition of going 12-16 hours after my last ingestion of medication.

I go in there and she asks for my Saskatchewan Health Services card. I'm used to it because they ask for any card before they'll help you out these days. She looks at the card and says, "oh, your health services card has expired."

The only response I could muster to that was, "so?"

"Well, we're not supposed provide services when your card has expired."

Just take my blood already! God, christ, like I'm supposed to know my stupid health services card has expired. I haven't used the stupid thing in a year and a half! And I'm supposed to notice that the idiotic sticker has expired!?!

The health services card is the most idiotic implementation that has ever taken place in the history of the Saskatchewan government. The land of free health care and oh, now you have to show a card to get free services. But if you don't have a card, they don't really care! You still get free health care. So what's the point of the stupid card? Apparently its for the purpose of annoying me. And providing an opportunity for sanctimonious office staff to give me grief when I'm not really in the mood to be getting my blood taken in the first place.

P.S. Future Shop sucks goat balls. They advertise games for $19.99 and then don't have any of the games in question, in stock in the store.

You are never more annoyed than when you hit the 'Suspend' key, that is conveniently placed next to the 'Escape' key on your keyboard, and you screw up the really complicated drafting procedure you were enacting.

Well that was a game!

The Oilers made a liar out of me. When they lost their goalie in game one I figured they were done. When they went down 3-1 in the series I thought they were done. But they kept coming back.

Two teams showed up for a hockey game tonight. Both teams brought their best game. Tonight it was apparent that one teams best game was a lot better than the others.

Can someone tell me what the deal is with the parking lot on the north end of Confederation Park Mall? I tried to get into the mall from the north side this evening and the experience was nearly enough to make me homicidal.

First of all I couldn't hit the entrance to the stupid mall. They put the damn 'Welcome' sign between these two paved stretches. One in, one out, wouldn't you think? No, one's for the stupid buses. So I had to make a loop through the bus park and back onto the street.

Next I look for a place to park. The bloody lot is all twisted up into little clumps of parking spots. I drive up to the place that is near the door I want. I can see lots of spots available here. But can I get to them in a convenient manner? NO! The only place into this clump is well back from the door so I have to drive past the place I want to be, turn around in a full part of the lot (again a clump of parking spots) and go back to the entry.

Then, when I'm leaving the lot I have to stop for a STOP sign. But the sign is about a hundred feet back from the actual intersection. So I go through my stop sign, and get to the intersection, and this guy coming from the other direction thinks I'm trying to cut him off.

Once again the Confederation Park Mall proves to be an unholy blight on this city. I'd tell you to write your councillor about it but we all know that no one in Saskatoon cares about Confederation Park Mall.

The funniest thing happened on the golf course today.

We were waiting on the 18th tee box at Moon Lake. I should clarify this by saying we were playing the Moors as our back nine, since they have 27 golf holes at Moon Lake. The ninth hole of the Moors set has as its final hole, a par 5 that goes along the shore of the actual Moon Lake.

There was a backlog of people waiting to tee off so we had time to kill at the tee box. Since we were at the lakes edge, a couple of the guys thought they'd spend the time practicing their drives. To accomplish this they were hitting range balls they had in their bags, into the lake. The goal of their efforts was to drive one all the way across the lake to the shore on the other side.

To end the suspense I'll tell you that no one was able to make it across the lake. Based on the success of the others, I suspect I might have been able to. I do not, however, have any excess balls in my golf bag that I was willing to sacrifice to the attempt.

With his last spare ball, one guy teed up and reared back for a titantic swing at his golf ball. He intended to really tie into this ball. It was, however, not a great day for golf today. It rained all day, and everything was slick and wet. The guy followed through on his attempt but the slippery situation caught up to him. His driver tomahawked out of his grip and went flying through the air. Like a boomerang it whuw-whuw-whuw-ed through the hair, before splashing down into the lake about 10 yards out.

Its not nice to laugh but damn was that funny!

Well, that was an exciting game!

I do, however, think the Oilers gave that one away. My opinion was that after two periods they had it all but wrapped up. A good solid effort in the third effort and they lead the Stanley Cup series by one game.

They didn't put in a solid effort.

But to their credit, they made a comeback. And the tying goal was spectacular. I recall using an expletive when I saw it.

But disaster struck. Not once but twice.

I mean no disrespect to the Oilers. I really hope they can prevail in this Stanley Cup series. However, based on what Coach McTavish said in the press conference, I think the safe money is on Carolina.

One of the keys to understanding me is found in the following song:

Pixies - Wave Of Mutilation (UK Surf)

Things That Piss Me Off:

Do you know what I hate? Websites that proport to have a 'picture of the day' but then the picture never changes. Or, it changes once a month, thus negating the concept of the 'picture of the day'. Or even more infuriating, at least for me because I still check the damn site every day, the 'picture of the day' is a revolving series of just 5 pictures. So, while the picture does change from day to day, if you've seen the whole series, there's not a hell of a lot to be gained by checking anymore.

And yet, like the eternal optimist, I still look, just in case they've decided to stop pissing me off. It hasn't happened yet.

Don't eat radishes.

Things That Piss Me Off:

Traffic in Saskatoon sucks. I had to go somewhere this afternoon. From Delco, in the north end, to the university, which is more or less in the center of the city. There is no reason this should take any more than 10 or at worse 15 minutes. I gave myself half an hour. Can you believe it wasn't enough!?!

If you refuse to invest in an air conditioner, why don't you try this:

Cheap air conditioning!!

My new favorite golfer is:

Virada Nirapathpongporn

Things That Piss Me Off:

Do you know what pisses me off? People can be so damn stupid in the name of speed.

I'm working at this rock concert tonight. There's two items that are served: draft beer and bottled vodka coolers. Now draft beer is easy. Open the tap and pour the beer into a glass. You can't do that any other way but fast. But coolers are another thing. Having to open the bottle and then pour the liquid into a glass takes some time. Certainly longer than pouring a draft beer. And its more cumbersome because there are multiple steps.

Now the first problem with this is, most girls are wimps. Not all of them mind you, but a healthy majority of them don't like to twist the cap off. Its not a purely female thing either, as there's a minority of guys that are children about protecting their hands from the slight burn of twisting off bottle caps. So they have to resort to a bottle opener. This adds a further complication to an already labor intensive activity.

This is where it gets stupid. And its not just the bottle opener people, but they are the worst culprits of this. They go to open the bottle and they just let the cap fly wherever. I have a problem with this. First of all, you wouldn't do this in your own house. How many people, especially girls, would let the table or the floor become littered with bottle caps? Why is this then okay to do in a public space? Second of all, how much time are you really saving by not catching the cap and throwing it in the garbage? I mean really! Eventually you have to pick up all the bottle caps. And the haphazard manner in which you let them fly means you end up having to grovel on the floor to get a lot of them. WOuldn't it be more expedient to use the half a damn second it takes to catch the cap and throw it away when you open the bottle!?!

I have to tell you this story. I have to tell you this story because its just so . . . damn . . . sad.

I bought an air conditioner last spring. It was a big 10,000 BTU bastard, complete with a remote. It was going to make my house frigid. But just about the same time I got this great idea I should buy a house, and stop paying rent all the time. Which seemed like a good idea at the time but has since proven to be untrue. But I digress . . .

So now its a year later and I don't want it anymore. I have no house to install it in, and when I do buy a house, its damn well going to have central air conditioning, because I don't do this, swelter for the character of it thing. I've got lots enough character from all the other burdens I carry. But I digress . . .

What to do with the air conditioner? Well, I bought it at Wal-Mart. Let's see if I can return it. So we drive off to Wal-Mart to see if they'll take it back.

Not being stupid, I go up to customer service with my reciept first, because I'm not carrying this heavy bastard into the store, only to find out they won't take it back. That would be stupid. So we enter into negotiations with the well meaning, but otherwise inept girl at the customer service desk. I know they try but they've obviously been imbued with NO authority, so it makes you wonder why they have to man the counter that needs a decision to be made, in almost all cases. But I digress. . .

It took calling some managers but they concede that yes, if everything is on the level, they can probably take it back and refund my money. Oh goodie! So I go get the air conditioner from the truck and haul it in to be inspected. One of the stipulations was that it had to be as I said, unopened and unused.

This is where it gets stupid.

To verify that the air conditioner is unused, they have to open the crate. Keep in mind that the box is obviously untainted from when I picked it up in the store. The original tape remains on the seams. The UPC sticker is still in place. The damn thing is virgin. But her manager has told this girl that she is supposed to open the box and make sure everything is intact.

So she does.

What does she find in the box? Manual is still its plastic sheath. The remote still has the plastic sticker on the buttons. The free batteries for the remote are still shrink-wrapped. The styrofoam packing has not been disturbed and clings tenaciously to the air conditioner itself. After much discussion with another, equally clueless Wal-Mart employee, they agree that they have to take the actual air conditioner OUT of the box to inspect it. Keep in mind that everything up to this point has been absolutely VIRGIN in the box. So these two girls struggle and fuss, because this unit has never been out of the box and is stuck to the tightly packed styrofoam. So finally its out and they set it on the counter.

We're not done yet.

Having gone through that entire ordeal, they now concur that to follow their managers orders, they need to get a second air conditioner off the shelf, open it, and verify that everything in the box off the shelf, is identical to what they've just opened in the box I brought in. So the entire ordeal is repeated a SECOND time, complete with fussing with styrofoam, and two woman trying to manhandle a very heavy, unwieldy electrical device.

Conclusion? The two air conditioners are identical. I get my refund.

So what was accomplished? As I see it, only one purpose was truly served by this idiotic procession. Some $9.00 a hour Wal-Mart night manager has proceeded to make damaged stock out of what were otherwise completely factory perfect air conditioner packages. All this Captain Wizard would have needed to do was wheel my box out onto the floor and put it next to the other air conditioners. The next time it was 30 C it would have disappeared from the shelf with no one the wiser for its 1 year vacation in Watson.

I have given a name to my pain.

It is . . .

polka

My new name is Tuemar. It is your job to guess where I came up with this.

Perseverance

Continuing in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure.

Things That Piss Me Off:

I hate when someone is chatting with you online and then the just mysteriously disappear. No warning, no anything. They just stop responding. Then they go 'Away' and often they'll then go 'Offline'. And you're left wondering, what the hell just happened to that person?

A few random thoughts for a Friday night:

Go Oilers!!!

Chad Michael Murray has gotta be the luckiest guy on the planet. He's starred in movies with Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff and Elisha Cuthbert. I think the devil lost out on that deal.

Does anyone want to buy a house in Watson, Sask.?

Does anyone know where to get a non-offensive calendar, but no puppy dogs or flowers or such boring crap?

Did I mention, go Oilers?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why do I always wish for things that are completely impractical?