Monday, June 18, 2007

Things That Don't Make Sense:

Why is Bon Jovi on the country channel CMT?

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Things That Don't Make Sense:

People and wearing shorts. Today is not a nice day. This weather would be more common in Bangladesh than here. Its raining, HARD. Plus its not especially warm. The truck said 13 C. I go into KFC, almost sprinting to get in out of the driving rain. What do I find? Two idiots in T-shirts and board shorts, eating their chicken.
Can someone please explain to me, given the enormous pain in the ass that she is, why anyone would hire Rosie O'Donnell to do anything?

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Things that Piss Me Off

What is it with cowboys that their events can never be on time? I'm at this bull riding event tonight and these jackasses are 30 minutes late getting started!!! What the hell is up with that? And then throughout the event they are constantly wasting time. I hate cowboys.
Things That Don't Make Sense

Bud Light bottles. Why do you call it a twist off cap if you can't twist it off without losing a significant portion of your hand?
Things That Don't Make Sense

Having a 'Baby On Board' sign in the back window of your car, and driving at an absurdly large amount over the posted speed limit of the freeway.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I watched 'The Dukes of Hazzard' tonight. There was nothing else to do and it was on the movie channel. I have a few comments.

Why is the smart Duke boy the guy from Jackass?

How do you turn the original Uncle Jesse, and turn him into a reefer fiend?

Are Jessica Simpson's breasts real? They really don't look real in a lot of those outfits.

Speaking of Jessica Simpson, how could they have her play a smart Daisy Duke, as a stupid bimbo? And how do you do a bad job of being a blonde bimbo when you are, in fact, a blonde bimbo?

All in all, I was disappointed in the movie. They made phony caricatures of all the main players from the original show. They added components that didn't make any sense, and generally wasted what could have been a good premise. The movie could have done with better direction and a much tighter focus. I give it a C.
Blog Song Of The Day:

Young Jeezy f/ R. Kelly - Go Getta

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Blog Song Of The Day:

The White Stripes - Icky Thump

Friday, June 08, 2007

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I really can't believe I have to get upset about this. In a world with a myriad of problems, from wars to famine to disease, why is THIS at the head of the news world.

Paris Hilton is out of jail after 5 days.

In an ordinary world, someone beating a drunk driving rap probably wouldn't be that big a deal. I'll be this kind of thing happens. Its a petty, minor crime so they sweep the person out of the way to make room for bigger problems.

The trouble is, Paris Hilton is a bigger problem.

You can NOT just sweep this girl aside to make room for harsher criminals. As this has proven, the whole world is going to hear about justice as it pertains to this spoiled debutante. And in the spirit of justice you HAVE to make her serve the whole sentence. And not even the pansy-ass 23 days reduced sentence. She needs to go back to jail for the FULL 45 days.

Why do I care about this? Why does anyone care about this? Because it is about justice. If you let her have electronic monitoring at home, or just wash the slate clean with her sentence, she gets away with it. And everyone gets to see that the law doesn't necessary apply. That can't happen. Maybe its 'unfair' that she gets singled out for punishment. But her place in society makes it so. Everyone sees her. So the letter of the law has to apply to her.

Celebrity is a double edged sword. It makes you famous and you're opened up to a world of privilege that the rest of the world will never see. But it also holds you to a standard. Because everyone is watching, you have to play by the rules. If you choose not to play by the rules, then the punishment can, and should, come down on your neck like the blade of a guillotine. If you KNOW that everyone is watching, why would you think you could get away with it?

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

I don't even know if I can finish watching this game. The Stanley Cup on the line, because its gone if they lose, Ottawa came out and laid a big fat egg.

They needed a herculean effort, and they played like a bunch of weiners.

There are two moments, both from the third period, that really stand out for me as examples of why the Ottawa Senators lost this series.

The first was Anaheim's fifth goal. By my count that came on their 14th shot of the game. That's FIVE goals on 14 shots. You know, Stanley Cup or not, I think I could do almost that good. And nobody's paying me. I'd be doing it for pride.

Now I don't mean to say that Emery had a bad series. That couldn't be farther from the truth. For the most part I thought he played great. But its an example of how the TEAM played. When the chips were down and they had to play the best hockey of their lives, they mailed it in. They played like they ate huge bowls of oatmeal right before the game. Emery, who'd done all but stand on his head the whole series, plays like a slaughtered lamb and lets in 5 goals. That's not his game. But this was the BIG ONE and like the rest of his team-mates, he tanked it. That's why they didn't win. They had to be their absolute best, and they weren't even in their top 10 performances of the playoffs.

And the other example was the penalty shot. If there was a reason why Ottawa had no chance to win this playoff series, that penalty shot provides the example. What happened when he came down the ice? He juked three times, threw in a head fake, and tried to put the puck in on his backhand. But the puck squirted away harmlessly and the penalty shot was useless.

SHOOT THE BLOODY PUCK!!! You can't score if you don't shoot. And Ottawa didn't shoot. Time and again it was three passes, most around behind the net, and then flick it harmlessly off a blocking defenceman. Over and over again it was the same drill. Pass, pass, pass, turnover. And when they did shoot it was some useless shot from the point. Never in front, never banging away at the goalie, never with an open net to shoot at. Giguere had it easy because everyone else on the ice got hit with more rubber than he did. If you want to win, just blast away at the net 30 times. The law of averages says you'll score a few.

Defencemen shouldn't have the lead in shots on net. And that's what Ottawa tried to do. They got out shot, out skated, out hit, and out played. They lost because they were second best.

BOOOO!!!!!!!
For those of you that are looking for a break from your Labatts or your Molson's may I recommend:

Stewart's Original Fountain Classic Root Beer

It comes in the familiar brown bottle but has an oh, so sweet taste. It can be found in the cooler at most of your fine, grocery establishments.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

I have a few comments about air travel.

Air Canada sucks. They suck! I can't believe how bad the quality is on an Air Canada service.
- They are almost always delayed. A perfect example is yesterday. Why are you booking a crew from an international flight as the next crew on a domestic flight? They have to clear customs. Idiots.
- The flights are uncomfortable. I couldn't believe how cramped the plane was to Calgary from Saskatoon. It was absurd. Then we fly a Dash 8 from Toronto to Milwaukee, a flight that became almost two hours long because of the reduced speed. Horrible.
- How can they allow for planes to leave from that shanty town that housed their regional flights from Toronto? That was pathetic. You're at the Toronto airport and the flights leave out of what looks like second-rate construction trailers. They should be ashamed of themselves.
- The pee cups you get for a 'complimentary' beverage are also embarassing. Its uncomfortable in there, with 100 people and recycled air, and all you offer me is a urine sample size of Coke?
About the only thing I felt Air Canada did right on their flights was the complimentary snack. They have upgraded to Oreo's. That was appreciated.

I have a question. I sat in the Toronto airport yesterday and watched three flights exit from my gate before it was my turn. How do they set flight numbers? Some have three digits, some have four. It all seems random. Is there a system? Do the numbers mean something?

You're in an airport. You're not at the beach. Wear some real shoes. Those god-damn flip-flops look ridiculous.

Why is it that, when faced with the prospect of boarding a plane, that people lose the ability to follow directions? They announce boarding by row. Only board according to row! This is not a hard concept! The whole POINT of it is to minimized the pissing around that happens on a plane when people board. People have to hydraulically lift their steamer trunk sized carry-on luggage into the overheard compartment. And every god damn person has to do this. If you follow the god-damn directions, then the people that are supposed to be at the back, can get to the back, and only piss off their fellow travellers at the back. When you don't follow directions, some ASSHOLE in row 5 gets on, and has to lever his freezer box carry-on into the overhead compartment. Meanwhile every other passenger on the plane is stuck behind this jack-ass, who's inevitably senile, or demented and can't figure out why it won't go into the compartment. So they fruitlessly jam on it while everyone behind him steams enough to melt the windows on the plane.

Back to Air Canada for a minute, although I suspect this is true for any large airline. Why can't you book your crew assignments so that its quick and convenient for the crew to make their departure? We, as travellers, are told to arrive 1 hour ahead of our flight time. And the crew jets in from Boston with 15 minutes to spare before they are supposed to get on the plane to Calgary. What the hell is that all about? The least you could do is make sure the flight is arriving into the same terminal they are supposed to depart from.

Why aren't there more clocks in the airport? I don't understand this at all. The whole place runs on an incredibly complex and tight schedule, and if your watch dies, you have no idea what the hell is going on. Or, and this is more common, you get off a long flight, in which you slept for part or all of it, and you're completely disoriented. You stumble out into the terminal and you need to know how long you have until you make your connecting flight. And there's no damn clock anywhere! I hate that. And this is even worse, you find a clock and its clearly the wrong time. I found that in Toronto. It was mid-afternoon and the clock said 10:45. Note to airports - get more clocks.

I have another complaint about the shanty town out at the back end of the Toronto airport. I thought it was called Terminal 1 but then yesterday the REAL terminal I was in was calling itself Terminal 1 so really I have no idea what that embarassment out in the weeds is really called. It doesn't matter, other than to again say that they should be ashamed of themselves. Moreso when you discover what they do to you.
I come off a regular flight from Calgary that disembarks into the real terminal. I follow all the signs, do the customs thing, including that STUPID pick up your bag to drop off your bag thing. My path through the airport ends at a sliding glass door that says that some 20 odd gates are outside. This makes no sense. The helpful union employee sitting in a chair by the door says you get on the bus. So I get on the bus. I thought nothing of that because I knew there was more than one terminal to the Toronto airport. What dismayed me was being taken out to the back end of NOWHERE to be dropped off at the shanty town of trailers that was the regional departure points for flights into, mostly, the US than Air Canada doesn't really care about. This might not be such a big deal EXCEPT that once you get out there, there is no services. There is ONE food stand and one news stand. And the price of a rather unappealing sandwich is NINE dollars!!!

This is more more of an observation than a comment but why is it that none of the border services people appear to be native born Canadians? I suppose its kind of ugly to notice. I passed through Canada Border Services (its not Customs anymore) a number of times in the past few days and there weren't any blonde haired/blue eyed people waving wands at me. Is there something about that particular wing of government service that doesn't appeal to average Canadians? Usually your ordinary citizen will step on his mother to work for the government.

And finally, leave it to the Saskatoon Airport to be the ONLY airport in my considerable travels where I had to wait for my checked luggage. Good job guys. Nice to see you really earning that union wage.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I went to the bank today. I'm going to Wisconsin for a plant tour this week and I figured I should have some American money. In case I want to get a sandwich or need to pay for a cab. So I went to my bank for a withdrawal.

I go to the teller and first of all, the scanner machine didn't like my card. Why the hell do I have to use a scanner at the god damn teller? I'm standing right there! But no, we have to fuss with the stupid scanning machine for like 5 minutes, even though it clearly doesn't want to work.

It finally worked.

Anyway. . . I ask for $100 in American money. It seemed like a nice, round number. She goes and fetches the American money. She looks through it and says to me 'we only have $100 bills'.

WHAT in THEE hell is up with that!?!

Can someone explain to me why a bank would even KEEP $100 American bills? What practical purpose could this serve? People come into the bank and need $5's and $10's. Not hundreds! This is functionally useless. And yet, its all they had. So I had to take the stupid $100 bill, go to another bank, and change it into more usable denominations.

Sometimes the insanity of the world makes me want to smack my head.

Monday, May 28, 2007

What's the deal with every website wanting to install a toolbar in my browser!?!

The first, and most egregious, of these things is the Google toolbar. Now I will grant, Google is the best thing to happen to internet search since, well, forever. But I don't need a god damn toolbar in my browser, screwing everything up, just so I can save one click.

Who doesn't have Google in their bookmarks? Anyone? Does having a TOOLBAR actually save us any real work? You click in the Google toolbar or you click your bookmark. Its about the same thing.

And no matter what site I go to, email, shopping, messaging, they all want to install a toolbar. Screw off with your toolbars!!! All they do is slow up performance and clog up the arteries of my computer with useless crap I'll never use. Toolbars are the Twinkies of the internet. Strangely appealing but likely to lead to a premature heart attack (or hard drive replacement)

Down with toolbars!!!
Well that pisses me off.

Ottawa has lost the first game of the 2007 Stanley Cup Finals. For two periods it didn't look like they would. There were some lapses but overall they had Anaheim under control.

Then they tanked the third period.

What the hell was that about? I swear, the effort in that third period looked like the pick-up teams we have on Friday afternoon hockey in the winter. It was terrible. I thought I could advance the puck farther up the ice than Ottawa did. I think they spent most of the first 15 minutes of that period in their own end. Did they even have a shot on net? It was retarded.

Which is only compounded by the fact that they poured it on after going down a goal. Obviously they were playing like idiots for some kind of reason. They could have won if they'd played all period like they did in the last 2 minutes.

I wish I understood how professional athletes can tank it so badly in a championship game.
Blog Question Of The Day:

Is Subway fast food?
Blog Song Of The Day:

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Blog Question Of The Day:

What would you want your X-Man power to be?