Blog Song Of The Day:

Marianas Trench - Shaketramp

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I buy a new laptop, to upgrade to Windows Vista?

Things That Piss Me Off:

What's the deal with these cell phone text message plans? I'm watching videos and they are just raining down the commercials like hellfire and damnation. Its annoying.

"Get the best Yo Mama jokes"

Who falls for this? I mean, come on! You can't honestly think they'll send this to you for free. Especially with that disclaimer at the bottom of the commerical, that is supposed to be unreadable. But I can read it and I was appalled at what it said.

$2.00 per message and a message a day. Do the math on that. Its gonna add up in a huge way. And I suppose someone is stupid enough to sign up for it, otherwise they wouldn't advertise.

Do yourself a favor, if you've been duped by this scheme. Cancel your account and get a new one with a different carrier. I suspect that's the only way to stop the string of 'You Mama' jokes that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Vancouver - 4
Dallas - 1

That ended exactly the way I wanted it to. And it would have been a shame for it to have ended any other way because Vancouver really did outplay Dallas through the middle to end of the game.

Now we rally together for round two. As patriotic Canadians we have two teams left to cheer for: Vancouver and Ottawa. Let's go!!!

Can someone get a hold of PartyPoker.net? Hockey's back been back for awhile now. We should let the poker people know their 15 minutes are up.

You never feel more loved than when you come home, and as you walk up the front walk, you see your cat looking out the front window at you.

The results of my Star Wars personality profile are in:

Blog Hockey Question Of The Day:

Is it illegal to get a high stick on a referee?

Blog Question Of The Day:

What the hell is the point of writing an explicit rap song if you're just going to drastically re-write the same song so you can be on the radio or have the video play on TV?

What in the HELL is an IED?

I ask this because they are forever mentioning that soldiers are being killed in Afghanistan by IED's. I wondered to myself, what the hell is an IED? I read the term, IED, all the time when I read reports of our efforts over there in that country. Soldiers are killed in their tank because they hit an IED. So what the hell is it?

Dictionary.com defines IED as:

WordNet - Cite This Source

ied

noun

an explosive device that is improvised [syn: improvised explosive device]

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.

Oh, so its a bomb.

So why in the HELL can't you just say BOMB!?!?!

When did it become inappropriate to call a bomb a bomb? It doesn't even take as many syllables to say bomb as it does to say I-E-D. So what the hell is the advantage of calling a bomb and IED!?!

The only possible explanation would be that you want to convey that its a crappy, homemade bomb. So just call it a homemade bomb. There's nothing gained by trying to say its an 'improvised explosive device'. That's just dressing up the obvious. Some guy wrapped up some nails and sharp rocks in a glass jar full of gas and fertilizer. Its not a good bomb, just some lethal junk put together and buried in the road. And all of that gets the fancy title of 'improvised explosive device'.

Its not an Improvised Explosive Device!!! Its a homemade bomb! Christ, just call it what it is. You make up a fancy description for something that's actually crude and ugly. Why polish a turd? A bomb is a bomb. A crappy bomb is a crappy bomb.

Just call it a bomb!!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

If 1956 was the first year for A&W, why didn't we hear a bunch of hoopla about their 50th anniversary last year?

Yay Maple Leafs!!!

Note To Self:

Don't get salt from Tandoori Sizzler Doritos in your eye

I smell like ass.

Normally you wouldn't admit to that but this is something of a special case. The ass in question is not really ass at all. The smell of hot, fresh ass is actually the result of a pail of waste water from an oat processing plant. Turns out if you let it ferment for an week it turns into the smell we all know and don't love.

We were doing an experiment today. We had three samples of water from the previously mentioned oat processing plant that we wanted to filter, and then subsequently have the filtrate analyzed for water quality. We had a number of difficulties in achieving this purpose. The bulk of our problems revolved around pumps. As in, we couldn't find one that would pump water. That was exceedingly frustrating.

Back to the ass. . .

The last pail we wanted to filter was really rank. I mean, chase you from the room rank. And it was a big room. In fact, it chased several people from the room. Nonetheless, my partner Alain and I perservered. We had a mission. Lamentably, we were plagued by the previously mentioned pump problems. The problem being, the pump wouldn't move any water. After at least half an hour of fussing with it, in complete desperation, we took the discharge hose off the pump and tried to see if it would move water that way.

This, was a mistake.

The pump, without the discharge hose, would move water. Quite well actually. That might not be such a big deal except we were dealing with the previously mentioned ass-smelling water. A pump without a connected discharge hose will shoot water in an indiscriminant direction. In this case the direction was all over us. Thus we smelled like ass.

Which might not have been such a big deal except that, because of the nature of the water we were pumping, and the pump we had to use, this last sample took forever to filter enough water for our sampling purposes. While the first bottles took about an hour to fill our samples, this last, stinky, sample took SIX hours. We were at the office until midnight, filtering water with our little sample system. I like my job but I have my limits. Midnight on a long weekend is too long to stay at work.

Luckily a shower has washed the ass smell off me. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get the rest I've been craving since 5:00.

by special request (and you know who you are)

Blog Quote Of The Day: (and its topical too!)

. . . from where I sit it appears that life can be absolutely, fucking, BRUTAL!!! I view life like a big desperate bear, loose in the campground. I try to avert its gaze, because if you lock eyes with it, it thinks you want to play, it doesn't know its own strength, and it just starts BEATING the living SHIT out of you! All in the name of good, clean kodiak fun.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Would you rather have a Mac or a Dell?

Blog Poll Of The Day:

How often do you save your work?

Blog Question Of The Day?

Should I buy an old Pontiac Firefly and customize it?

March 29th is brought to you by . . .

Crazy Achmed's House of Discount Chevy's!!!

Blog Song Of The Day:

Squirrel Nut Zippers - Hell

Things That Piss Me Off:

It really gets on my nerves the way hotels charge you for internet access. You just know they are running a $24.95 broadband connection into the hotel, and then splitting it from there for each room. What is especially egregious is when they provide this in the form of wireless internet. They obviously didn't even go to the trouble of running cable to each room. They just put a DLink wireless access point somewhere central in the hotel and hope you can get enough signal in your room.

But what really galls me about this is the price they charge for the internet access. For the $24.95 they are PAYING to bring internet to the hotel, they are CHARGING me $12.94 per DAY! So, if I stay for two nights, and agree to their outrageous charges, then I personally have paid for their entire month of internet access. Everyone else could, and by rights should, get access for free. But they don't. Everyone else pays $12.95 too and the hotel rakes in a disgusting amount of money for doing absolutely nothing at all.

Blog Song Of The Day:

Hinder – Better Than Me

They have this new channel on Sirius now. Its called Lithium. Its supposed to be all 90's alternative and grunge rock. The stuff I grew up on. For my part they could throw in some Metallica too, but I guess that's not their mandate.

For some asinine reason they keep playing Cake. That crap wasn't good back in the 90's and it sure as hell isn't good now. They only had ONE song that got any radio airplay, and that one sucked ass anyway. Why they keep playing more crap from the same crappy band, I can no ascertain.

The point of this post is to make note of something that I think has been forgotten. Being a 90's alternative channel, they play a lot of Pearl Jam. A lot. Especially the first album, Ten. I've probably heard half the songs from that album now. And even though its 15 years later, they're still kick ass songs. As albums go, you can't really judge them by the collective anymore. An album seems to be, just a collection of singles in present day. But Ten was an album. And by my estimation, it has to be either the best, or one of the best, rock albums of my generation.

Take that for what its worth.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Did you ever think a metal song was sounding pretty good and then they came in with some absolutely brutal lyrics?

Blog Question Of The Day:

In Clerks II we discover what happens to Dante Hicks and Randal Graves, 10 years later. What about all the other characters from the View Askewniverse? Whatever happened to Brandy Svennig and Brodie Bruce?

Mallrats is an entirely under-rated movie.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why does Fergie spell something in all of the singles she's released from her debut album? Is she worried that her fans don't know the alphabet?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

If you like my blog then you'll probably like this site:

Ill Will Press


I especially like the one - 'Cell Phones and Car Ads'

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why don't they have an all-cheese sandwich at Subway?

That's it. I've had it. Enough is enough already. I shoveled for an hour tonight to get my driveway clean. Its just about March for crying out loud! I have to push all the snow to the sidewalk in front of my yard, and then push it down the sidewalk to find a spot on my lawn I can toss it on to. What the hell is up with that?

I've have enough. I am at war with snow. Its me or the snow. One is going to break, and I swear it won't be me.

The snow, the snow, the snow has got to go!
The snow, the snow, the snow has got to go!
The snow, the snow, the snow has got to go!

Things That Piss Me Off:

I hate when you click on an 'Enlarge Picture' link, hoping to get a picture of relatively decent size, and it brings up a pop-up that shows the same image at maybe 25% larger, which is still too small to make out any detail.

I have to tell someone about this because it just pissed me off so much.

I left my computer on last night. I had a couple of songs queued up but they weren’t actively downloading, so I figured I’d leave the computer running and see if they came down overnight. I got up this morning and my computer had rebooted. Windows, in its infinite wisdom, had seen fit to grab a patch, install it, and then conveniently re-boot my computer. Because its so painfully obvious that I want to re-boot whenever Windows thinks its appropriate.

God do I hate that. I wish Windows was a person, so I could wrap my hands around its neck and throttle it. If my computer is on then its on for a reason. I don’t WANT to reboot every stupid time it does something. Install a program, download a patch, change a setting, these do NOT raise within me a spontaneous desire to reboot. I hate rebooting! I’ll do it when I want, not because Windows thinks it should be done.

In short, Windows sucks.

The end.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why does chlorine on your skin take the odor of old sweat?

Aren't we all just a bit tired of Beyonce? Does she have to be so pervasive that even on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue we aren't spared her overbearing presence?

I can't believe how clueless some people are when they drive.

Not everyone will know where I'm talking about but bear with me. To come home I have to come south on Idylwyld. I turn off of this freeway at 51st Street to come home. Between where I enter Idylwyld and where I exit it, Highway 16 from North Battleford merges into traffic.

To exit at 51st Street I have to move into the outside RIGHT lane. This is the lane that belongs to traffic that is merging in from Highway 16. So, as the semi-trailer came up from Highway 16, I had to speed up to pull ahead of it, and be in my proper lane to exit the freeway.

This idiot in a car behind me also wanted to exit at 51st Street. However, rather than be courteous and speed up to be well ahead of the monster truck, he just signaled and idled across, RIGHT in front of the semi-trailer. I didn't even have to be in the cab to hear him curse.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why do they keep making every obscure fantasy novel into a movie on the off chance it catch like Lord Of The Rings?

When I feel down I just eat a pumpkin.

Dear blog readers:

Please avoid any and all business transactions with the following corporations:

Bell Expressvu
SaskEnergy

My experiences with these companies suggest that they will SCREW you out of your money by whatever means they have at their disposal.

That is all.

I have a question.

Do drinking straws really need to be individually wrapped? Yes, I know, its a hygiene thing. I understand the generic reason behind individually wrapping the straws. That's not my question. What I want to know is do we actually NEED that?

We seem to study any and every inane thing on the planet so I wanted to know, did someone do a study and determine that massive amounts of people were getting ill from germs acquired from drinking straws? It seems like a bit of a stretch to me that we might be passing germs on drinking straws. Only take one and don't share it. It seems pretty logical to me.

Do germs even last on a plastic drinking straw? I thought part of the point of a plastic straw was that it was fairly antiseptic. Am I wrong about this? It seems that everywhere I go, the straws are all individually wrapped. I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't so damn hard to get the straw out of the wrapping. But the inordinate amount of time I've been needing to get at my straw has made me ask, do we really need this? Is society being advanced by drinking straw condoms? Is there value for the money here?

Inquiring minds want to know . . .

Hockey Report:

two goals - two assists

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I develop a crush on Paris Hilton?

What the hell is wrong with the world today? Its been a whole week and I've had nothing to blog about.

No rants.

No interesting happenings.

No unique events.

What the hell? Have we all gone to sleep? . . . or was it just me?

Am I the only one that is sick of Global sticking those stupid CGI animations over different parts of the football stadium to advertise cheap-ass Canadian products during an NFL game?

You know, I try to suffer people with a smile. Even though on a regular basis they frustrate and annoy me. But there are times when no amount of gentle patience will make you ignore someone's idiocy.

This pinhead (and I use the word accurately) comes up to the bar tonight and wants a double rye. I don't phrase this as, asks for a double rye, he all but demanded it. We are not allowed to serve doubles. Its in the liquor license for the building. The actual text of the statement is something like, drinks must not contain more than 5% by volume. Even the biggest of lunkheads should be able to do the math that a 40% by volume rye whiskey needs to be diluted with something to make it a 5% alcoholic drink.

Of course this jackass is completely self-absorbed and won't see his way clear to understand the rules. He's an alcoholic idiot and wants a double shot of rye with nothing to get in the way of his liver being shriveled to something resembling a prune. He wants what he wants and we're supposed to accomodate him, despite the rules.

My first question is, if you're this much of a drunkard, why not stay home and drink the damn Jack Daniels straight from the bottle, like any other reasonable person might drink a Gatorade? If your life is so predicated on the consumption of alcohol in extreme volumes, then please do us a favor and lock yourself in and get the death by alcohol finished. Spare us the abrasiveness of your panting fury for alcohol.

What I can't grasp, and will probably struggle with until the day I die, is how you can behave as if the rules don't apply to you. The principle of the 'mixed drink' was plainly explained to him, including the percent by volume. Still he persisted in the absurd rationale that we should ignore the 'rules' because he wanted a pair of double whiskeys. Why!?! How come this was so damnably important to him? Why couldn't he drink a drink like a normal person.

And this happens all the time. Its not contained to this one, specific incident. Lots of people come up and immediately ask for a double. These individuals too, are habitual drunks that should really look into their behaviour before much longer passes. However the majority of people that ask for a double will acquiesce and accept the two singles in compensation. But every once in awhile a belligerent idiot will come along and insist that he should be granted a double shot of alcohol in a single cup. And this insistence will persist beyond all reason. I don't get it and I doubt I will ever understand.

P.S. And for the record, the concert sucked ass.

Can someone please explain to me how, when given every opportunity, a normal, rational human being can walk into a 6 foot replica of a beer bottle?

Hockey Report

3 goals - 0 assists

Plenty of good shots in the first half of the game but no goals. I was fairly disappointed that I couldn't get one in until the second half of the game.

Blog Question Of The Day:

If you're already a blonde, do you ever bleach your hair to make it even more blonde?

For the first time ever I have to say:

My driveway needs to be blown more than I do.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Do you think that all the toothbrush innovations that have come about recently, and have seen airtime as commercials are as revolutionary as they suggest that they are?

Blog Question Of The Day:

If the 6-disc CD changer could only hold 6 discs, that couldn't be changed, for the rest of your life, what 6 would you pick? (and you're not allowed to pick homemade compilations)

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why does the A&W have, what looks like, a satellite dish on its roof?

We're going to start a new feature on my blog. It will be called:

The Hockey Report

In hockey news today, I had two goals and two assists. Both were in the second half of today's hockey game. My second goal was especially good as I wired the shot in from the right face-off circle.

In summation:

2 goals - 2 assists

Is there anything better than a USC cheerleader?

Mini Pop Kids should not sing sexually suggestive pop songs.

Man its depressing when you realize that something you started, and used to really like, has gone withered and sad with age.

I tried to price a computer for someone tonight. I was $800 for something that was really pretty basic. Meanwhile the Dell ads on TV promise to sell you a computer for $400. That's a huge gap.

It makes me want to give up. I used to like selling computers but how do you compare against that? I guess you just get out of the, low budget, computer market. We can still do alright on the power systems, where the person being quoted wants brand name parts. But the era of selling a computer to anyone appears to be over.

This makes me sad. Maybe it shouldn't but it does. I hate having to reflect on my existence.

If you need me I'll be in the corner, staring at the dot on the ceiling.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why do so many of the new rap songs sound like they sampled a damn nursery rhyme!?!

I'm watching PunchMuch, like I do quite often these days. Its actually a good place to leave the TV if you don't know what else to watch. You get to hear popular music and I find its a good way to learn what I should download for my MP3 collection.

I'm watching this channel and one of the songs to come up is:

Jojo - How To Touch A Girl

Sounds kind of pornographic, does it? It certainly seems more graphic than you'd expect to get from your average teen starlet chanteuse. Unless its Christina Aguilera.

Turns out its not as salacious as it seems. The gist of it is, she suggests that you do all the 'nice guy' things if you want to 'touch' a girl. Nice advice but frankly, I've never found it that successful. In truth, the audacious approach of actually attempting to 'touch' the girl seems more successful, on the balance of probabilities.

I gues that's what I get for taking advice from a 16 year old girl's song.

Blog Song Of The Day:

My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words

Blog Question Of The Day:

Has anyone else noticed the almost palpable LACK of Christmas music this year? Its almost like they're afraid to play Jingle Bells for fear we'll revolt.

Things That Piss Me Off:

I was driving home today and they played an ad for the radio station. I was listening to ROCK 102 FM and they professed to have the world's largest ROCK library. They made sure to mention this several times during the 30 second spot.

Afterwards they cut to the music. They played Supertramp.

AARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

I just don't understand people. They make no sense. I'm back to the grocery store thing. I know, you're probably tired of my grocery store observations but I have another one.

I pull into the lot, drive past the front doors and turn down one of the aisles. I see a spot and I grab it, although there was another one that could be argued was better. I walk towards the door and I notice this white car that I'd passed on the way past the front doors.

This idiot was cruising exactly two of the multiple aisles in front of the grocery store. They just HAD to park in the aisles directly in front of the door.

What is this madness? I drove a couple of aisles passed the front door, and found a spot three stalls from the fire lane. This moron was obviously surfing the major two aisles for open stalls and finding none.

Here's a tip. Drive to the store. Pick ANY aisle. Find a spot. Park and walk to the grocery store. Its really not that far.

In the universe of Jay & Silent Bob, characters created by Kevin Smith, there is a fast food restaurant called Mooby's. It is featured prominently in the movie 'Clerks II'.

Referencing this movie, I have to ask:

What the HELL is a Cow Tipper?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Are polar bears vicious?

Things That Piss Me Off:

If I make the effort to go out and purchase my own copy of a movie on DVD then

I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WATCH PREVIEWS!!!

What the hell is the deal with that? I purchase a copy of Clerks II and there's 10 minutes of previews and ads before the movie. Fine, put them there but don't make me have to hit, next scene over and over again. I paid for the MOVIE not the promotional opportunity for the film industry.

In summation, movie trailers equal bad. Remember it.

Things That Piss Me Off:

I really hate these people that have to be either dropped off, or picked up, right at the door to the grocery store. It is not that cold and/or inclement that you can't walk the 100 feet from what's actually a very good parking spot, relatively speaking.

But no, you're a spoiled, sissified little twerp that couldn't bare to brave the cold or now. You have to completely clog up the entire pathway in front of the grocery store. Because you, in your vanity and self indulgence, just have to walk no further than from the edge of the sidewalk to the door. Its surprising to the 100th degree that you would even condescend to do your own grocery shopping. Heaven forbid you mingle with us, the sad, pathetic unwashed masses that have to procure and prepare our own meals.

Get off your crystal pony princess, and walk in the snow with the rest of us. Your sad, pathetic vanity is making me retch.

Bar people annoy me.

I'm out with friends last night and we're sitting beside this amusement machine. I just didn't find it all that amusing. It was a variation on the typical 'strongman' game. This particular version had the strongman smack a punching bag on a short string. The object being, the harder you hit it, the stronger you were.

Is this really necessary? First of all, anyone that played this game was solidly drunk. Right off the bat they aren't going to score well. Plus this opens up the very likely possibility of some idiot completely missing the target ad smashing his hand into the cast iron of the rest of the machine.

And these winners that actually play the game. Every one of them is red in the face from too many beer. They hit the bag with such expectation. And every one of them, without variation, almost falls on his drunk face because he steps into the punch with such force. I swear some of them were inches from careening face first into a chair from swinging so hard. Then the numbers scroll up, they're a big loser, and they have to walk back, shame faced, to their group of fellow drunkards.

And while we're at it, does the machine itself have to be so annoying? I'm sitting a few feet from this machine but I really don't think it should sound like the roof is going to come down on my head. I know the point of the game is to rattle this things cage but I'm a non-interested bystander. Can we please dull the cacophony so I can enjoy my Pepsi in peace?

Chris's Indian name is Chris Boxoffries

What the hell is wrong with the Blades management?

Every time I go to a Blades game this year I get pissed off. I watch this intro video they had produced and I just get mad. This thing is junk. A total waste of time.

What's the fake French crap? I mean, come on! If you are determined to have your MC sound foreign, then for gawd sake hire someone who's actually foreign. They have this jack-ass introducing players and he's using the most sick-ass weak French (I think) accent that its just pathetic. I'm not French, never will be French, and don't pretend to be good at accents. But I have a feeling I could do as least as well as this asshole.

Can someone out there please explain something to me?

I went to Future Shop this morning. I decided to buy something last night but when I went to London Drugs they didn't have any in stock. I didn't get a really warm vibe from the London Drugs staff so I came home and checked Future Shop online for availability. They had some in stock so I decided to go there this morning, Saturday, to get one.

Its December. People are Christmas shopping. I knew Future Shop would be an absolute gong show. Consequently I got up early, so I could be at Future Shop for store opening. Or relatively close to it, because I didn't want to be one of those geeks that lines up to get into Future Shop. Future Shop opens at 10:00. I was there at 10:08.

It was a gong show. The damn store just opened and the lot was full. Not, lots of cars full but absolutely FULL. You couldn't find a place to park. People were surfing around in endless circles. I grabbed the very first spot I could find and got my business done.

What the hell is going on? How can Future Shop be THAT busy at 10:00 on a Saturday morning. I know its Christmas-time but COME ON!!! That was freakin' insane. I'm glad I didn't procrastinate until 10:30 or something or I'd likely have blown an o-ring or something.

I went to the passport office today.

That was an experience. I got there before the office was supposed to open and there was already a line. A long line. A VERY long line. I came out the elevator and the passport office was to the right. I had to go left to get to the back of the line. I also had to take another left at the corner before I got to the back of the line. It seemed a bit unreal.

I took the opportunity to do some reading while I was in line. Unfortunately some of the people behind me could not be as accomodating. I had to listen, for over an hour, as some pretentious sow, who's major claim to fame was answering phones at a non-profit corporation, told an equally garrulous old guy how horrible it was that she was missing work to be in line. Fine, you think you're important. But what I don't get is how she expected anyone to believe that she needed a passport for work. Near as I could tell, from the several phone calls she made back to her office, they didn't seem to even care that she wasn't in that morning. That they might send her to another country to represent the organization seemed highly improbable.

Clerks II observation du jour:

Jay is wearing a regular baseball cap with the brim cut off.

I've been watching the CBC for about 4 hours now. In that time they have played a lot of SaskTel commercials. Specifically they are playing the SaskTel internet commercial where the state that SaskTel internet now comes with wireless networking.

What I can't be sure of is, why I now have a crush on the actress who is hosting the commercial. Is she legitimately hot or is the repetition making me desire her?

Blog Quote Of The Day:

"Its okay, I'm taking it back."

Blog Question Of The Day:

Which was Shannon Elizabeth's more impressive performance?

Nadia in American Pie
Justice in Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back

Blog Song Of The Day:

Sound Bluntz - Billie Jean

World of Warcraft News

My Alliance character, Gaidar, has reached Level 46.

Blog Song Of The Day:

You Don't Know - Eminem featuring 50 Cent, Cashis & Lloyd Banks

Anyone that knows something about how to enable comments on a Blogger.com website, it would be appreciated if you could contact me. I have, apparently, enabled comments on my blog but they don't show up on the layout.

I heard someone say something today taht made me stop and think.

"He's an engineer, so he is anal."

I'm an engineer. Does that mean I'm anal?

I just noticed something in the movie 'Sin City'

At the beginning of the movie, when Hardigan catches Junior with Nancy, the first thing he does is blow his ear off. However, in the last act, when Junior comes back as the Yellow Bastard, he has both ears again.

I wonder if this was on purpose of if someone forgot about that point.

I know its a new song but I have a recommendation for Britney Spears. She should do a cover of the new Beyonce Song 'Irreplaceable'.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I enable comments on my blog?

Blog Question Of The Day:

Does my head look freakishly small on top of my large frame?

I swear on something holy we live in a god damn cultural wasteland. There is nothing but blindness and blandness, no matter which direction you turn. Every attempt to think in a manner that is counter to the herd and you get trampled by the stupid, unwashed masses as they rush towards sameness and normalcy.

I went to the mall recently. My purpose was to buy a St. Louis Cardinals baseball jersey. They won the World Series and I was going to commemorate the occasion by acquiring their jersey for my collection.

First of all I just want to say that the whole Halloween thing has been grossly misappropriated. I’m downtown at the mall and there are all these stupid people dressed up in costumes. I’m not a big fan of a costume on even the best of occasions but I don’t need to see fairies and people with robot heads walking around the mall while I’m trying to get something done. Frankly I think its kind of stupid, and infantile.

Bygones.

So I go to the one place in Saskatoon that might have the article I am pursuing. It might have piqued my wrath already, had I stopped to consider there was only one place in all of Saskatoon where I might find this item. I wasn’t that far ahead in my thinking at the time. I peruse the store, looking for my jersey and to my great dismay they had nothing.

Then I got mad.

How god damn pathetic is it that, in a city of close to a quarter MILLION people, we:

a) have only one store that sells a wide array of sports jerseys and
b) they don’t have the World Series champions in their inventory!?!

What did they have for selection? About 100 different Saskatchewan Roughrider jerseys. All that had been appliquéd with names/numbers so that they could be premium priced at $169.99. Failing that you could get an Edmonton Oilers jersey. Where the HELL were they back in June? Or, if you happened to be stupid enough to like baseball, there were an assortment of Toronto Blue Jays shirts hanging disconsolately, way at the back of the store.

Is this what we’ve degenerated to? You can like The Riders, the Oilers or the Jays, and other than that you can go stick it in the left ear? Oh, they MIGHT have something else, but its just one sample, and its probably the wrong size, or it’s the away jersey when you wanted the home one. Christ, would it kill us to have some halfway decent shopping options in this outpost on the road to oblivion? How many times do I have to go shopping for something, and not be able to find it? This shouldn’t even have been that obscure. They won the bloody World Series!!!

By this time I was just wound right up about the injustice that is shopping in Saskatoon. I pay my $0.75 for 10 minutes worth of shopping and high-tail it out of the Midtown Plaza mall.

What’s my solace as I drive down Idylwyld, back to a job I don’t like, and that doesn’t like me? God damn Supertramp!!! Christ and bloody hell are we ever gonna stop playing this worn-out re-tread crap!?! This music was annoying twenty years ago, when they were playing it in the 80’s. Why in George’s name are we still being subjected to this piss-poor, deluge of liquefied excrement!?!

If its not Supertramp then we get Trooper. If its not Trooper then they play Rush. Failing that we might get that same god damn Eagles song we’ve heard 800 million times! It never ends.

They wonder why the radio format is dead, and people download music, play iPods in their cars, and burn custom CD’s. They play the same re-tread crap all the time!!! Its 2006 already! I don’t want to hear a Rush song from 1982. The damn Eagles might as well be dead. And Supertramp and Trooper were garbage when they had their first go around. I don’t wanna hear that crap on the radio!!! Play something new! Play something good. Hell, play something new AND good! Just don’t subject me to the same washed out, bland, corporate friendly, meal-ticket sheep-dip that we hear on the radio every damn day. If I NEVER hear Supertramp again, that would be just fine. Shoot Rush in the face. The sound of their brains on the wall would be better than the dreck they pretend is music. Trooper may be Canada’s party band, but not at any parties that people actually go to.

I just want something good, something real. I swear to heaven there must be some new bands out there, struggling to be heard. Let’s play them! Frankly I’d rather hear some crappy new song, from a group I’ve never heard of, then another bloody Supertramp medley of tripe songs that couldn’t get any more pathetic. Maybe New Band X will suck but at least it wouldn't be by repetition. Another chorus of ‘take it on the run baby’ is likely to make me hurl.

I was at the arena tonight, slinging beer to the uninterested. I made a few observations.

Chris seems to really enjoy the beverage gun

A Caesar, a drink I am sure tastes like the foulest swill on the planet, actually looks more appealing when the salt rim is correctly applied.

There are just some people that are patently stupid. There can be only one person standing, available to serve customers, and there is a group of idiots that will, beyond all sense of reason, still stand half the bar away to make their drink order.

People are slobs. When they are done with their current drink, rather than take the 10 steps to the garbage can, will just leave it on the bar. Sick!

Not for the faint of heart!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why don't they put potato on a pizza?

Congratulations Riders!

Did anyone else get the impression that Kenton Keith had made up his mind that he wasn't going to lose that football game?

I was watching college football this afternoon. Canadian college football. I know, this seems like a peculiar thing to do. When has Canadian college sports garnered any interest from the Canadian media.

Nevertheless, The Score was carrying a Western Ontario game, so I tuned it in. The game itself was unremarkable, but the coverage of it was even less. However, at least they had the game on TV, as opposed to playing some stupid-ass poker tournament. I know they had to fill the schedule with something when hockey went DOA but hasn't interest in poker disappeared now that hockey is back? Why is this shit still on TV?

But I digress . . .

All of this is leading up to a Blog Question Of The Day:

Do those of you that have graduated from a major Canadian college, care about the fate of your college's sports teams? Or is there as little interest from you as there is from our sports media in this country?

I am Spartacus Boy. I will be boycotting this moronic Borat movie. Who's with me?

P.S. 10 points to anyone that can name the reference

I want to take this opportunity to say a few words about baseball. I'm watching the World Series and I can help but be agitated by this annoying custom they have during the 7th inning stretch. I don't believe this is a custom for every game that gets played. Rather, I think they drag it out for the playoffs and I find that kind of offensive.

Why do we have to have 'God Bless America' sang during the 7th inning stretch? What about this occasion suggests that we have to have more overweening praise for the dominant country on the planet. Maybe God does bless America but I have a feeling that would go equally for any country on earth. Even Afghanistan or, god forbid, Iraq. Any kind hearted diety would not discriminate.

Oh, and another thing, as it pertains to tonight's game, and tonight's singer of the 'God Bless America'. If you're going to appear on national TV with the eyes of the world watching you, it would serve you well to go out the afternoon before and buy a decent pair of pants.

I've had enough!

I still and watch TV at night. And every night I'm subjected to the same damn thing. I'm sick of it. It has to go.

I'm referring to this Rogers Wireless commercial. The guy is with his buddies at a diner. He's on the phone with his girlfriend. And in a touching moment he goes to end the conversation and says 'I love you.' Then there is this awful, pregnant pause as he waits for her response.

GAG!!!

After going all mooshy in the knees, the girl replies that she loves him too. All of the tension in the overly dramatic pause is gone, and everyone is happy again.

Except me.

I hate this commercial so much. If the damn girl cared at all about the guy, she wouldn't pause for 2/3 of a standard 30 second commercial before answering her supposed 'love'. And damn Rogers for subjecting us to such overwrought hystrionics.

Bring on the beer commercials.

WoW Question Of The Day:

If you quit the game with the Sword of 1000 Truths in your inventory, does it cease to exist?

Things That Piss Me Off:

Do you know what pisses me off? These idiots that go to the gas station and can't figure out how to park at the pump. I go into my favorite gas station tonight, to put a few bucks worth in the tank to tide me through until the end of the week. The place is busy and there's one spot empty for me to fill at. I pull into position and why do I find?

This idiot has parked nearly perfectly between the two pumps, such that I can only barely get my handle to the back of my truck where the tank is.

I hate that! Park with some danm courtesy. Someone would like to use the pump behind your wide-load ass!!

Well, this is interesting!

I now have a pet. Its a cat. A little black one. She arrived on my doorstep courtesy of my sister. Actually, I was already familiar with this little kitty because she vacationed at my house the week my sister and her husband were in Mexico on their vacation. I guess she must have liked it here because she's come back.

Its a little tough to know right now what my new little buddy is thinking. Even though she spent the week here before, she's scooting around the house right now, checking things out. Hopefully she'll come out of her shell before long and we can play together.

Originally the cat's name was Simon. Then the original owner discovered it was not a male cat. Oops! But the name stuck. I have decided to alter it just a touch and re-christen the cat Simone. A girl cat should have a girl name.

I'm going to go back to chasing Simone and see if I can get a fix on how she's feeling. Everyone say HI to Simone!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Can someone please tell me why they are playing a Raisin Bran commercial from 1982 during tonight's Monday Night Football game!?!

Ladies and gentlemen,

of Edmonton Eskimo fan club of 2006,

I have one piece of advice for you.

No matter what Danny Maciocia tells you,

There will be no playoffs for you.

NONE!

Oh, there will be playoffs this year,

But just not for you.

You wanted to be invited,

But everyone said no.

There will be no playoffs for the Eskimos.

Things That Piss Me Off:



I developed a new goal for myself, starting this week. I want to get to work earlier. The point of this goal is, so I can take a full hour for lunch, and make my work-day a little more comfortable. To accomplish this goal I have to get up a little bit earlier in the morning, and be more efficient in getting ready. The hardest part of this plan is to get up the few minutes earlier it takes to achieve my goal.



I did everything right this morning. I was up the few minutes earlier. I was more efficient in completing my morning routine. I was out the door and ready to drive away almost perfectly in line with my goal. I even showed the foresight to begin warming the vehicle with the remote start feature.



But what betrayed my plan? What evil caused me to be late (according to my schedule)?



FROST



I hate frost! It drives me berserk. Especially on a morning like this. The whole plan is predicated on things happening on a set schedule. Needing 10 minutes to scrape the diamond hard frost off ALL of my windows was not in the plan. Now I can live with frost, if I know its going to be there. Usually frost is not that big of a deal. You scrape it off and away you go. But this morning, apparently because I was trying to follow a schedule, it had to be the hardest frost in the history of humanity. I had to lean into the scraper with the full weight of my considerable bulk, just to get this accursed coating off my windows. And each window seemed worse than the last. I was nearly foaming at the mouth by the time I got all the way around my truck.

Blog Question Of The Day 1:

Is there anything more annoying than getting food stuck in your teeth?


I was eating ribs for supper today. First of all, is it just me or does it seem like pork is the more commonly offending culprit for when you get food in your teeth? That and corn. I don't know why but I get corn stuck in my teeth from time to time.

Anyway, I'm eating this rib and you know how you can just tell when you've gotten food down between the teeth, and lodged in the gums? I had that feeling instantaneously. I knew this was going to be a floss moment.

I finish the meal, because why clean out when its likely to get plugged again? But I was no sooner finished and I went to floss. Now I just moved into my own domicile again about a month ago, so I can't be sure of where anything is, and if I have it, whether I'll find it. To my great surprise I have floss. So I use some.

I really didn't think it was possible to store that much food in one's mouth. I swear I pulled half my supper out from between those two teeth.



Blog Question Of THe Day 2:

Is there any feeling of relief more satisfying then flossing out your teeth when you know there's something in there?