And this post goes out to all you dumb-ass companies that want me to fill in my postal code, or somehow otherwise identify my region when I go to your site to check prices.

STOP IT!!!!

When I look up something on the internet, I'm doing a quick search to find out how much something costs. The likelihood is, I"m eventually going to go to the store and pick it up. Truthfully, its more like catalog shopping. I want an idea of the price before I pursue the project further.

So I don't appreciate it when I gotta fill in details to look something up. If you're enough of a bunch of smucks that you have region specific pricing, then this is a wake-up call to knock that crap off. We all deserve the same low prices. And the number should be readily available, with about three (maybe) clicks on the ol' Firefox browser.

Listen to my words, for they be the voice of the consumer.

It is now time for our yearly game,

How Much Is In the Cookie Jar?




Submit your guesses for a chance to win the money!

Honestly, I shouldn't have to blog about this so often. The rules and guidelines for doing it properly are not that hard to follow. Everyone is supposed to become at least passingly familiar with the process before they are issued a license.

Why can't people park between the lines? When did this become a difficult task?

I'm at Future Shop this morning. Future Shop has cleaned out their parking lot very well, and the lines are easy to see. Nevertheless, in a full lot, some asshole has parked right across a line, insted of between them. And at an angle no less! So this wastes a spot, at a store that can ill afford to have a wasted space. I actually stopped today. I actually stopped and considered kicking the mini van. Realistically, the only thing stopping me was that I wasn't wearing steel toed boots. Had I had steel toes, I think that mini van would have a dent right now.

Then I get to Safeway and all bloody hell has broken loose. The lot has not been cleaned well, so you have to use your discretion to establish where to park. Of course, discretion for the 2000 cars in the lot seemed to mean, park wherever you please. How can you be that dumb? I parked near the end of the row, becuase it was kinda full and I had no patience for driving around looking for a spot that was marginally better. When I come out, more people have parked around me, and its an absolute cluster-bomb. Some guy in a white 1972 Chevy pick-up basically laid it wherever he pleased, turning the row into a serpentine disaster that was next to impossible to get out of. Plus there was Captain Fantastic on my right who'd inexplicably taken the challen of parking as close to me as possible, without removing his mirrors.

Speaking of captains of idiocy, there was the retard in the VW at Future Shop that tried to take my parking spot before I was even out of it. What grade of elementary school do you have to flunk out of to pull a stunt like that? I'm backing out, and this retard is diving into the open space. Nevermind that, at the current time, there was no one else around. So he gets halfway in and now I'm pinned because I needed that space to re-orient and drive away. So I'm cursing him for being a dick and just a hairs-breadth away from getting out to pummel him when he rolls back. I think better of my violence and just drive away.

I am now going to relax and try to forget that the world is full of idiots. If you need me, I'm on the couch.

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

. . .

And I laughed my balls off!!!

Blog Poll Of The Day:

Should I buy a speaker package for my laptop?

I am making a new rule.

This rule applies to the office. Specifically, this rule applies to children in the office.

In general I have no specific opinion on children in the workplace. If they don't bother me, I don't bother them. However, there needs to be a rule about these sort of things. And I'm going to write that rule.

"If your child is not old enough the understand the phrase 'shut the hell up' and actually follow the directive, then they are not old enough to be in the office."

Please follow this rule from now on.

Blog Question Of The Day:

The mohawk picture on Facebook was a good joke but it seems to me it has lingered just a bit long. However, I find myself with a bit of a dilemma. I have nothing to replace it that is:

a) a picture of me
b) current

Does anyone have a picture that fits the criteria, that I could use?

Can I get a ruling on something?

Shouldn't we have the right, and maybe even the responsibility, to use a rocket launcher on people that drive slow for completely inexplicable reasons? I'm driving down the street lately and I keep getting stuck behind these people driving unbelievably slow. Its just retarded.

The speed limit on the road is 60 km/h. This is a well travelled road and not a residential or side street. The person I get stuck behind is doing 30 km/h. Maybe. There's nothing wrong with the road. Its in excellent winter driving conditions. This idiot goes half the speed limit.

Shouldn't I be blowing this moron away? Doesn't behaviour like that warrant a rocket to the rear end? Or, am I completely off base on this?

I have a word of advice to all of those people in the world who try to be the funny customer. If you want to be the 'funny' customer can you please take a moment and think to yourself, am I really funny? If funny doesn't come naturally to you, or you have to force a joke to be funny, then do us both a favor and just order your drink, pay, and walk away.

There's nothing more tragic than some idiot thinking he's funny, when he's not, and we both have to stand there and pretend like something lame was worth even a half-smile.

If you seriously, and for true, believe that someone should be executed for the name of a teddy bear . . . then you really need to go commit the same sentence to yourself, because your not dealing with reality.

Things That Piss Me Off:

It just drives me to distraction the way some people operate a motor vehicle. You get behind them on the freeway and you'd swear they'd never drove a car before that. Then you scream and vibrate in your chair at their extreme stupidity.

I get into a pile of cars at a stop light tonight. The light goes green and we take off. This idiot ahead of me pulls up at 60 km/h on the damn freeway, slowing down all traffic behind them. And no one will pass this idiot! They all pace with him, like this moron is aware of something they don't know. This whole caravan of cars creeps down the freeway at 60 km/h become one idiot doesn't know how to drive.

Finally someone gets brave and passes the asshat. Then another passes, and another. Finally I get a chance to drive past this idiot and I take the accelerator to the floor and pass the jack-ass.

Just one more reason to throw a little chlorine in the gene pool. Geesh.

It is now Wednesday and I've shoveled for the third time. Knock it off already!!!

Today is November 26th. I have already had enough of winter.

Its not even December yet and I've already had enough of snow.

In the more abstract sense I don't really have anything against snow. It serves a useful purpose and when things are blanketed in white, it can look every peaceful. The problem however, is that the stupid crap has to be shovelled.

Okay, I learned my lesson. You can't just, not shovel it, because that creates even more trouble than getting out there and doing it. Its just that, there are times, when you REALLY don't feel like shovelling snow.

Today was one of those days. There wasn't that much snow. It wasn't going to take that long to do. But I had to give myself a very long and considered pep talk before I could force myself to do it. My legs were not up for shovelling snow this afternoon.

But its done and I actually feel better for it. However, if all the snow were to now melt, it would not hurt my feelings in the slightest.

Okay, now I hurt.

In the span of 26 hours between Friday and Saturday I have completed the following:

Played hockey with my co-workers from Delco. We played full ice but we did have two spares per team so it wasn't as bad as it could be. However, I must have tied my skates wrong because my calves locked up and I had shooting pains from my feet to my back.

I went to CUC and worked a Blades game. That was fairly uneventful but my legs didn't stretch out much while working at the bar.

Played a very heated soccer game on Friday night. Half our team was drunk and both teams were pushy so it got a little rough. We managed a tie, which felt like a victory but it was tough going with bad legs.

Played the second soccer game of the tournament on Saturday at noon. Physically I felt like I was in better shape. I ran my ASS off which was doubly frustrating because it was completely in vain. Everyone that was drunk on Friday night was hung-over today and we didn't fair well. The game was disappointing with a 0-4 loss.

Our second of our soccer games today was at 5:30. The body started out alright but at the end I had had enough. To our credit we won the game 3-2 but I'm done. I was mentally disappointed to not make the playoffs but my body will be glad to not play soccer tomorrow.

Oh yeah, don't forget,

GO RIDERS!!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I buy a Q-Ray bracelet?

Who is more attractive, me or William Fontaine De La Tour D’auterive?

It is finally good to be GREEN!!!

After watching the first half of the Eastern semi-final between Toronto and Winnipeg, I think it is clear that Troy Westwood is on something.

For the record, I wasn't ready for snow yet.

Can someone PLEASE explain to me how a movie that is supposed to be in theatres (according to everything I can find on the internet) is NOT available in any theatre I can look up on the very same internet?

Do you think NPC's (non player characters) in WoW (World of Warcraft) get sad when you kill them?

If you are driving a freshly washed, brilliantly shiny, YELLOW Monte Carlo, then I suggest you don't park illegally in the handicap spot outside of Safeway.

I think I'm done with Safeway.

I wanted to negotiate the relatively simple task of buying soap tonight. I started at London Drugs. I don't fault them at all. They had lots of soap and it was relatively easy to find. I went there first because I wanted to see how much this fancy, oatmeal soap was. I've used this oatmeal soap in hotels before and thought it was great. I found out that you could buy this Aveeno stuff and it had oatmeal in it. I thought I might buy some.

Not at $4.99 per BAR!

So I went to Safeway. I had to go there anyway, I decided, because I wanted to buy some spring rolls for supper. In hindsight I should have blown off the spring rolls, bought my soap at London Drugs, and called it a night. But I didn't and that was to my detriment.

How the hell can you not have bar soap? I mean honestly!! They had a VERY small selection of bar soap available. There were a few bulk packs of Ivory and again of Dove. That's it. No Irish Spring, no Lever 2000, just this pathetic little display of a couple of packages of this Dove and Ivory. I was looking for Zest, because I've decided that's 'my' brand, and I'm sticking with it whether I'm bored with the fragrances or not. (coming to that decision is a long story I won't bore you with)

So I walk up and down all the aisles in the general soap area and there's no bar soap. This is just retarded. A major grocery store and you can't even buy regular bath soap? I think that's insane. So I think I'm done with Safeway. I will give them another shot after the renovations are done but if the same lack of service and retarded prices continue, I'm going somewhere else. You can't reward incompetence.

Blog (Important) Question Of The Day:

Should I donate to the 'One Laptop Per Child' program and get a cheap, if minimalist, laptop that I could play with and use as a toy?



http://www.laptopgiving.org

Based on the photographs from her latest misadventure, it appears Britney Spears has the same cell phone as me.

I'm nominating Hayden Panettiere for hottest woman on the planet. Who's with me?

Have you ever been drinking a can of Coke, and stopped to realize that it was impossible to look inside the can, because it was dark and the liquid wasn't clear? Then you got to thinking that maybe, somewhere below the murky depths of the Coke there was a dead body, that you wouldn't discover until you'd finished the whole thing?

That's what I was thinking about this afternoon while having a Coke that honestly, I stopped enjoying about half way through.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Which would be the least desirable job:

a) fast food restaurant
b) cashier at Dollarama

For those of you that had been lamenting their absence, my blog archives are back.

Blog Complaint Of The Day:

There should be more solo quests available to Level 55-60 players in World of Warcraft

Things That Don't Make Sense:

Having full sized shopping carts in the Dollarama.

I hate 'high art' music videos.

Reason #37 Why I Hate Vista:

Its so stupid. I have a half a dozen programs that are using my external hard drive as their default destination to save. However, when I try to use Vista to save an image file to the external hard drive, it says I don't have permission.

I understand that you want the operating system to be more secure. But don't make it secure to the point of insanity. Using a dialog box to save a file to location that has not been tagged as vulnerable, should NOT raise security warnings.

COME ON!!!

YAY Red Sox!!!

If you are a professional football team.

And your opposition leaves half their starters at home.

And they basically tank the game.

And you still find a way to lose to them.

Then you do not deserve to make the playoffs.

Congratulations Edmonton! You suck!

Go Red Sox!!!

Blog Song Of The Day:

Age of Daze - Afflicted

Am I alone in seeing something dirty in the combination 'Beef & Veg'?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding

Do you know what pisses me off? There's this intersection near my house. There's lights on it and its a crossing of two important streets. Not 'major' in the grand scheme of the city, but large enough that there's always cars on them. Anyway, the street going north is 4 lanes on the south side of the intersection, and for all intents and purposes, two lanes on the north side. So inevitably, these ass clowns have to be in the outside lane because someone might be turning left from the inside one.

Tonight we had the king of the ass clown academy. And the really damn sad thing is, this guy is NOT the first person I've seen do this. There's a person turning left in the left lane, so Captain Calamity jumps into the right lane so he doesn't have to stop. But the guy turning left is able to turn left right away, so I barely have to slow down going through the intersection.

Major Nitwit of course, just HAS to be first through the intersection so he speeds up. Then, he immediately jumps back into the left lane and hits the brake. This moron now wants to turn left himself into a residential side street! What an arrogant prick! He's too important to wait behind someone turning left, but not above cutting me off so he can do the same thing.

I swear, we ought to be issued weapons on our vehicles.

Have you ever noticed there are more Ramirez's in baseball than there are Smiths?

I listened to Tool all day. I've downloaded all of the Tool albums that I could find, and even some stuff that's not official release material. Having spent a 10 hour day listening to Tool I can pass the following judgment.

Tool is good.

Thank you and good night.

The Red Sox suck.

If you're having Vector as a meal replacement, doesn't that make Vector a meal?

Does anyone out there know how to get into contact with Alyssa Milano? I'd like to sit down and talk to her about becoming my new girlfriend.

Check out my new hairdo!!

Some things I've been thinking about tonight:

Where does someone buy a simple, basic, shirt (T shirt material) that has long sleeves?

Why can't people use their signal lights? Its like they've all forgotten that every vehicle is equipped with two, a left and a right.

What store would I most easily find an Elmo doll?

This is freaking me out:

Right or Left?

Can someone please talk to the Blades management? This is getting stupid.

We had another holiday edition of a Blades home game. As has been the truth for every one that preceded it, the game bombed. On the scoreboard it worked out fine, as the Blades came away with the win. I would suggest however, that playing on Thanksgiving had little to no effect on that.

Meanwhile, the game was played in front of an empty arena. No one attends a holiday hockey game. I presume that the logic behind it is, everyone has the day off so they'll probably come out to the Blades game for something to do! Ummm, no. That doesn't happen. People stay home on a holiday, and eat big meals with their family, or spend time enjoying an extra day off. They don't go to the rink for a hockey game.

This error is compounded by the fact that Saskatchewan's team, the Roughriders, were playing a pivotal football on this particular afternoon. Obviously the Blades couldn't know the Riders would be on the verge of a home playoff game on October 8, but it doesn't negate the fact that they knew, or should have known, there would be CFL football competing for people's attention on a holiday Thanksgiving Monday. Scheduling a rather meaningless WHL regular season game is likely to lose the battle for interest.

But they persist and we'll do more holiday hockey games. Each one will suck, from a fan participation perspective. Large sums of money will be wasted on staffing to service a crowd that just never shows up. I wish the people in charge would learn from their folly and speak up when they're listed for an afternoon tilt on a holiday weekend. It would do everyone a service if these games were moved to Tuesday evening.

Things That Piss Me Off:

That people still make websites that are biased in favor of Internet Explorer.

Its official. I hate Vista with the full power of my being.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why am I so cheap?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Disturbed - Ten Thousand Fists

Why the hell do so many celebrities release perfumes? I heard about a Mariah Carey, a Britney Spears and a Paris Hilton fragrance launch in today's batch of spam. Who's buying this crap? Does having a celebrity attached to whatever snot-based perfume is spawned really make it sell? I can't believe we'd all be so gullible as to purchase stuff based on such ridiculous criteria.

And, given that Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have revealed themselves as complete ass clowns, how could their endorsement serve to sell any product?

Update:

I have found a solution to the damnable problem of being shipped burning software with my new computer that wasn't compatible with the operating system of my new computer? (Windows Vista)

I found a program called InfraRecorder that appears to do everything I need. So if you're in the market for a new burning program, give this one a try. It seems like its worth it.

Note to Self: Prepare a solid, pro-active plan for next year's abundant crop of fruit from your fruit trees.

I picked 20 gallons of pears off my lawn tonight.

I hate when the Eskimos win.

I ESPECIALLY hate it when they win big.

I've watched the Britney Spears performance at vary sites since she made the appearance. It seems to be universally panned and I wanted to know why. Okay, let's be honest. Everyone hated it and thought it was an embarassment beyond words. Is this true?

Did she look horrible? No, on that count I think people are being overly harsh. Is this 18 year old Britney? Not even close. Britney Spears when she first appeared was a specimen the likes of which doesn't come around very often. And its still not going to be there at 25 years of age. Factor in that she had two children in rapid succession and anyone that believed that Britney would look as stunning as she did at 18 was in very a really big letdown.

Did she look good? I don't know. Maybe I'm not being critical enough. I thought she looked pretty tasty. Which should be prefaced with the comment that my usual preference is for very small, very petite girls. So conceding that Britney looked appealing is a compromising of my usual standards. Really, I think people should it slight that she wasn't in perfect shape. If she has the time I would guess that she'll eventually achieve that goal. The first step is motivation.

But what about the performance? Wasn't that just a train wreck of a stage show?

I keep watching it, hoping to catch signs that I might have missed the last review. I keep studying the details and I am repeatedly underwhelmed. While Britney's physique was unimpressive it was not repellent. The dance number itself was pretty close to being complete excrement.

First of all, I really don't believe she even knew where she was supposed to go on the stage. Whenever you caught her eyes on stage it appeared she was searching out her next spot to him. That seems like a sore lack of practice. The dancer's around her seemed on their game, but Britney wasn't really dancing with them. She seemed to be walking through the whole routine. Taking step to step as she hit pre-defined spots on the stage. She had no energy, and no fire, and appeared to be just going through the motions.

Honestly, as it watched it this last time I had the impression I was watching a dress rehearsal. What Britney was wearing was piss poor for her big comeback, and seemed more like something she'd just throw on that was kinda sparkly as they worked out the details of the routine. Plus she made only a passing attempt at hitting her vocal mark for the clearly dubbed in vocals. The whole performance had the polish of what you'd expect for a dress rehearsal of about two weeks ago. But by now it should have been a lot more polished.

I'm not yet ready to write Britney Spears off as a failed celebrity. Frankly, she carries too much curiousity for her not to get another shot, and then another, until finally hitting the mark and becomes a feel-good story again. But frankly, someone needs the smack the girl in the head, and tell her what to do. History over the past 3 or 4 years has displayed that she has NO ability to manage her own life. Britney needs to make the one decision that is most important in her life, and that's to hire someone else to think for her. There's too much at stack to leave the decisions in her un-talented hands.

The video for Green Day's 'Working Class Hero' sucks.

I have a question.

I've been following this Vanessa Hudgens incident on the internet, because its come up on the social news sites that I read on a regular basis. For those that don't know, she's one of the stars of the Disney series 'High School Musical'.

Apparently she let someone, presumably a boyfriend, take an innocent picture of her before she got dressed. So she was completely nude when the photo was taken. It was not posed, or staged, and is clearly not a photo designed to promote a sexual or salacious agenda.

So why is this such a big bloody deal? She's a pretty girl, over 18, and the image is clearly not intended for publication. No attempt was made to make it look 'pretty' even though as a pretty girl it ends up being that way anyway. But why the huge drama?

It should not be the assumption that any image of a woman with no clothes on is instantly scandalous. Why does a celebrity have to be held to a higher standard? This picture is not such a big deal and she shouldn't be scandalized about it.

I've really had enough of people getting picked up in front of the grocery store.

What is with the arrogance of that? You can't walk your narrow, ugly ass a few steps across a parking lot to your car? You have to plug up the whole damn aisleway in front of the mall.

This just drives me nuts. They're doing construction in the Safeway at my local mall. Thus there is a lot of construction signs around, fences up and general confusion and mayhem. Plus, its a perfectly acceptable night and while a little cool, nothing that would prevent a lazy nitwit from walking across the parking lot.

But here's the asshole, waiting with her half filled shopping cart, for a pick up. Why!?! And here they come, in a big ol' Buick. And what's this? Stopping to pick up the arrogant bastard are we? And look, it creates a six car log-jam behind this pair of assholes who have to screw over the whole world because of their laziness.

Blog Joke Of The Day:

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Things That Piss Me Off:

The phrase 'we are currently experiencing a higher than normal call volume"

No you're not. Why not just come clean and admit, we're too cheap to hire enough operators.

Upon further reflection, perhaps 'Snakes On A Plane' was not the best choice to watch on TV before going to bed.

You know, some people are just assholes.

I was at Midtown Plaza today. If you'll see yesterday's post you'll discover that I have learned that you can buy a U of S Huskie football jersey. I didn't have $100 cash on me at the game yesterday so I thought I'd try the Huskie store in the mall.

They didn't have any. But I digress . . .

I'm parked underground and I'm trying to get out. The underground parking at Midtown is a bit of a pain but I get turned around and head towards the exit. To do so I have to drive past the underground entrance into the mall. Thus begins our problem.

Some idiot woman is crossing in front of me to go into the mall. She has, in tow, her two daughters. If I were guessing I'd say they were 8 and 12. This is important because this retarded woman appeared to be chastising the two girls. I have NO idea why because the two girls appeared to be behaving admirably for having such a heinous bitch for a mother.

But I digress . . .

It is a relatively easy task to enter a mall. You cross the aisle-way left for cars to drive into and out of the mall, and then you enter through the doors. You don't even have to turn a knob because they have automatic doors. Seems simple.

This jackass couldn't complete the task.

So intent was she on castigating her children for some percieved and I would suggest spurious reason that the relatively simple task of walking in a straight line was beyond her. I don't know if she didn't notice me basically parked there, or didn't care, because she stepped right out in front of my truck. Because I'm not a complete asshole, I chose not to run her down. That may have been a mistake. So she walks out right in front of me BUT does not continue straight ahead to get out of my way. She kind of meanders around directly in front of me, while applying un-due pressure to the neck of her 12 year old daughter. Then, when it looks like she will finally get out of my way, she yanks the girls neck and pulls the whole troupe back, square in front of me again.

I seriously considered giving her the horn. It was that, or get out and beat the piss out of her. Either way it was probably better than she deserved. However, I did nothing, except write this blog post, and forever cast her into my group of inveterate assholes.

I did something unique this evening. I went to a U of S Huskies football game!

Things have changed a lot since I went to university. The stadium is at least 10X better than what it was when I was at the U of S. Its actually a nice place to go now. It looks inviting. Plus, with the big parkade as you walk in, the place looks like it knows what its doing. I have new respect for the program.

The game was great. The Huskies creamed the Golden Bears and its always fun to watch a game where your team dominates from front to back. We were in the east stands so the sun was in our eyes for the first half an hour of the game but that was only a minor inconvenience.

The experience was not without some disappointments however. First of all, and I can't overlook this, who was the idiot at Shaw Cable that was in charge of placing the scissor lift for the camera in the south end zone? That was beyond stupid. It was right in front of the scoreboard! How could you think that was a good idea!?!

They now sell Huskie football jerseys. That is a very welcome update. However, I have a problem. How can you charge $100 for an item and then only accept cash? Who walks around with $100 in their pocket!?!

College football referees suck. It was brutal. They couldn't get anything right. They must have called 40 penalties, and some of them were plain retarded. Among the biggest mistakes I noticed were:

- they couldn't remember where the guy landed and they changed the spot of the ball by three yards about three times before finally setting it down
- called the U of A offside when the Huskie quarterback pulled out from center without the ball

And finally, the public address announcer was a bit of a tool. He wasn't on his game either. On two occasions he called it a first down when it clearly wasn't. I think he needs more practice.

Despite the problems I had a good time. If you get a chance, go check out a game at Griffiths Stadium. Its worth the trip.

Blog Question Of The Day:

I went for my daily bike ride today. I finally remembered everything. I had my sweater. I got my stop watch out. Everything was going to be perfect.

I rode out from my house, past the wastewater treatment plant, along the Meewasin Trail to the park house at the end of Whiteswan. It was a fairly uneventful drive. There were only a handful of people out on the trail. I can't decide if it was the time of day or the general lack of warmth that kept the population down.

I was about halfway back when I noticed that the back end of my bike didn't feel right. It was like I was dragging along. I stopped and checked. My bike tire was going flat. This really sucked because it was still a long way from home. I started walking and the bike got even more odd in sensation. The tire was completely flat.

So I had a 30 minute (or so) walk home to consider my options. Its getting late in the season now. Is it work it to fix my bike tire or should I leave it for the spring?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Nickelback - Rockstar

NOTE:
Today's BSOTD was not chosen because its a great song. Actually, its kind of a mediocre song. You'll like it, but it'll get old really quickly. Today's BSOTD was chosen because it has an interesting video. Not interesting as in, really well produced and artistic. Interesting because it'll make you watch it more than once.

Its fascinating, in a way that it a little on the indulgent side. They had a whole bunch of people sing then song, and then its patched together as a series of very quick clips. The result is, a rapidly changing montage of different people going across the screen. That, alone, would not make it interesting. What makes it interesting is, about half the people are celebrities, and half are not. So you're constantly checking out, is this someone I should know? And if you have time to determine, yes this is a personality, then you have to, in the span of about a second and a half, figure out who it is. Its a very intriguing puzzle.

So there, go download the video and play the game I was playing today. Its fun in a way you're kind of embarassed to admit.

Blog Question Of The Day:

How GOD DAMN hard is it to make someone serve the whole of a measly 96 hour jail sentence!?!

Okay, we've got to talk about something. This kind of ridiculous behaviour has gone on for too long and we really need to put a stop to it.

Bike Idiots. Get off the road.

I get it. You think you're hip, and cool and all ecological because you're riding your high class bicycle to work. We're monsters because we motor along in our SUVs, sucking down precious gasoline and sucking down greasy McDonald's food while you peddle for your health. I get it. I totally do.

But here's something you need to understand. And I'll say it loud so you don't misunderstand. YOU ARE NOT A VEHICLE!!!

Get off the road you idiot! Fine, if you wanna ride on the street when you're in a residential section of the city I have no problem with it. In fact, its probably courteous because you won't get in the way of any pedestrians. But when you take your peddle-pushing ass out onto a major arterial roadway during rush-hour, I get my panties in a bunch. Get off the road you moron!

I'm trying to get to work on time in the morning and some jack-ass on his expensive mountain bike is riding right up the center of the lane on 51st Street. You jack-ass! Nor can I go around him, because like I said its rush-hour, so the street is jammed (as far as that goes in Saskatoon). Neither can the six cars behind me, for the exact same reason. So we're all brought to a snail's crawl because Captain Fantastic is going to save the world, one bike ride at a time.

Idiot.

Things That Piss Me Off:

I hate when I'm drinking from a frosty mug, and the cup gets just a little bit of frost on the bottom. It doesn't do anything to the drink, but its just clingy enough than when you set in on a terrycloth towel (designed to soak up the condensation) it grabs the cup every time you go to pick it up.

Blog Observation Of the Day:

They play entirely too much hip-hop/rap on PunchMuch. That, alone, I wouldn't mind so much, except the stuff getting votes is really awful.

Can someone explain this to me? Because I swear to Christ I need to understand this because it irritates me so much.

How is it that a woman can take her family to the air show. Its rained all night; the grounds are a wet, muddy disaster. Not to mention it's cool with a wind that can cut through you. The woman does the sensible thing and makes sure her young daughter is wearing good, sturdy shoes. Something comfortable, and warm, that will not result in sore, or wet feet after tromping around for hours in the mush that is the Saskatoon airport.

BUT, on her own feet, she wears a pair of what appears to be three year old, beat to hell, plastic corkboard, god damn FLIP FLOPS!!!!

Ahhh! Nothing like an air show to refresh your loathing for humanity!

Okay, I know what I want.

They played 'Can't Hardly Wait' on MuchMusic. I had to watch it because frankly, its one of the best movies ever. But I digress.

At the end of the movie, Amanda rushes to the train station to see Preston before he gets on the train to go to a workshop with Kurt Vonnegut. (Kurt Vonnegut!?!) But I digress.

They say their thing. Amanda has read the letter and Preston has finally gotten to speak his mind about the girl he wants. But he's leaving, and its awkward. She walks away and he steps to leave. Then he stops, thinks about it and runs for her.

Preston jumps in front of her, and tells Amanda he can catch a later train.

That's it, right there! The smile on Jennifer Love Hewitt's face when he says that. That, right there, is the moment I want. When someone smiles brightly enough to light up a room, just because I'll stay. That's the moment I want.

Things That Piss Me Off:

Do you know what pisses me off? What really gets me wound up to the point where I can’t even think straight I’m so agitated?

Microsoft Word

This piece of crap drives me to distraction. It wants so much to help me out with every single action I want to complete and yet at every turn it completely screws things up and does nothing right. For a program that tries so hard you’d think they’d get at least SOMETHING right.

I have two Word documents. They are proposals. One is an old one, and one is a new one. The new one is being created by changing another, different proposal that was about reverse osmosis. The new one is going to be about ultra-filtration. So I want to copy text from a really old proposal we did about ultra-filtration, into this new one.

I copy text FROM a Word document, into another Word document. Seems easy, right? Just Ctrl-C in one document and Ctrl-V into the second one. It should be identical, because it’s just one document to another. BUT NOOOOO!!!! Word, in its infinite %&$#ing wisdom decides that I couldn’t possibly want the same tabs and indentations that I had originally. Even though, the tabs and indentations of the document I am pasting INTO are exactly the same as the one I’m pasting FROM. Same to same, that makes no sense. So it pastes the selected text with no indentation, and tabbing that has its first one at the center of the page.

AARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Why!?! Why is it so stupid? They say that insanity is repeating the same action, again and again, expecting a different result. Then I guess Word has made me insane. I get mad and I just keep deleting and retrying, over and over again. Somehow, in my fit of anger and rage I believe that somehow a wire has been crossed and Word couldn’t possibly be making this mistake on purpose. If I just try it again it will do what all logic and reason says that it should.

BUT NOOOOO!!!! At every turn it defies me, until I’m a screaming and ranting maniac in my office. I tear at my hair and look for something to pummel. This aggravates and annoys me to such an extent that I’m apoplectic. I need a cathartic release I am so enraged. So I write you an email, in hopes that I can calm down to a point of ration that makes it possible to work on this proposal more.

If you need me, I’ll be installing OpenOffice.

I am more convinced than ever that the entire voting population of the United States of America needs to watch the movie 'V for Vendetta'

Blog Song Of The Day:

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - You Guardian Angel

Blog Question Of The Day:

Honestly, I know its a good song, and I like it too but, haven't we had enough of Rihanna and her Umbrella?

Have you ever watched a movie with Scarlett Johansson? I'm watching 'The Black Dahlia' and I'm noticing something that seems reflective of all of her movies. They photograph this girl in such a way that you get so wrapped up in how she looks that you really seem to forget that she's supposed to be playing a character. Thus you end up with this odd sensation of liking Scarlett Johansson but really having no recollection of what she contributed to the story.

I need someone to explain something to me. I've recently come upon some news and frankly it troubles me. Its the type of preposterous thing that seems to defy logic.

It has come to my attention, from an informed source, that the midway show for the Saskatoon Exhibition is being provided, in large part, by West Coast Amusements. You might be asking yourself, so? Let's put this in the proper context.

Saskatoon is a city of a quarter million people. Not on par with the New York's and Chicago's of the world but within the context of Canada, we're starting to get up there. We are in excess of the population of Regina, which also gets their amusement services provided from the same company. A few years ago a strategic decision was made to move the Saskatoon Ex to August so that we could get on the 'A' circuit, and have the good rides, and premium amusement services.

Everyone who's anyone gets their amusement services from a company called North American Midway. Getting a North American Midway show is to be on the premium circuit. Edmonton's fair has North American Midway. Regina's show is with North American Midway. The Toronto fair is a huge deal for North American Midway. Obviously Saskatoon wants to be at that tier.

My sources have discovered that North American Midway has sub-contracted the amusement services for the Saskatoon Ex to West Coast Amusements. We get our show from West Coast, with a few morsels thrown our way just to call it a North American show. In my opinion, and granted I'm nothing but a Joe Average, but this just seems wrong.

West Coast Amusements is the company that comes to the city and does a mini- midway in the mall parking lot. West Coast Amusements does the show in places like Estevan, Melfort, Nipawin or Yorkton. That's what you have to compare it to. Regina gets the 'A' circuit. Saskatoon gets the Yorkton circuit. Who in the HELL thinks that's justice.

My sources have inquired with the powers that be, to get a reason for this apparent travesty of justice. What follows is a snippet of their correspondence:

"We have to travel 1732 miles to Toronto after Saskatoon and open on Friday - therefore we have to present rides that move fast. Saskatoon is just in the wrong time period."

Oh nice. That's how important we are to you. Thanks for the contract to provide amusement services at your fair Saskatoon. We'll take your money but we're sending our good equipment to Toronto, completely bypassing you. Too bad, so sad, get used to West Coast Amusements.

I feel like organizing a boycott or something. Thus just seems wrong. We move our fair to August to fit into the 'A' circuit schedule, and we're repaid for our efforts with the same crap-ass show that we were trying to get away from in the first place. Is this what Saskatoon must come to accept? We're a permanent stop on the Yorkton circuit?

Comments, as always, are welcomed. Frankly I don't know what to think so anyone that can provide clarity, I would appreciate it.

--- Dedicated to Kevin Hills ---

I just witnessed a historic event. I was watching live when Barry Bonds hit his 756 career home run.

When he hit it, there was no doubt. I don't think anyone doubted it, the second it left his bat. You could just tell that one was gone.

Bonds knew it. He dropped his bat, raised his arms, and that was the record. As much as we may not like Barry Bonds, as much as we may think he cheated, there was no mistaking the magic of that moment.

For the record . . .

Arm/shoulder tattoos on a woman just looks awful.

Things That Piss Me Off:

What's the deal with idiots that can't pick a speed on the highway? That just pisses me off.

I'm driving to Regina this afternoon and I come up on this white sedan. This is important to remember. I came UP on it. Which clearly indicates that they were going slower than me. I say this because I set the cruise control at Grasswoods Esso and didn't deviate from that until I reached Chamberlain.

I come up on this white sedan. I don't alter my cruise for even a second and just move out and pass them. There is also a large 18-wheel truck that I pass at the same time, never breaking my cruise.

A few minutes later this same, stupid white sedan passes me. This I could really care less about because, I'm just cruising. I'm barely awake I'm so mesmerized by the monotony of my travel. Whatever. They pull in ahead of me and life goes on.

Then 10 minutes later, I've caught up to this retard again. So I pull out and pass. I no sooner get past them and here they go passing me again!

Make up your mind. Go fast or go slow. Stop screwing around with passing and falling behind someone. Its a long drive. Set your cruise, sit back and just drive. Stop pissing around!!

Blog Song Of The Day:

Social Distortion - Ring Of Fire

Blog Question Of The Day:

Does a high school lesbian get asked for ID if she tries to buy a Hustler?

Today's lunch consisted of one of these noodle bowls from Extra Foods.

It was AWESOME!!

First of all, there was lots of food in the bowl, so I wasn't hungry after eating. Well, I was, but only because it tasted good and I wanted more.

Of course, as I've said twice so far, it tasted great. I expected it to be hot, since it was called Thai chicken, but I surprised it was not. Just a good flavor that went well with my orange drink.

And there was a decent amount of chicken in the bowl. I've bought these pre-packaged meals before and a bowl like this might have three chunks of chicken in it. This had a healthy portion. It wasn't overflowing with chicken but I could have a morsel of meat with nearly every mouthful.

In conclusion, I recommend to all of you that you pick up some of these at Extra Foods or some other Westfair food derivative. They are DA BOMB!!!

Blog Poll Of The Day:

Who thinks I should buy a copy of the broadcast of the 2007 Tostitos Fiesta Bowl?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Crush Luther - The Cools

I went to the Fringe Festival. In Winnipeg. How's that for expanding your horizons!?

I had a good time. It was entertaining and I came in out of the heat feeling like I'd spent my evening in a more socially worthwhile way than sitting in a hotel room, watching the same stupid crap on cable.

However, that being said, as I was riding through some unrecognized part of Winnipeg (thank god they didn't kick me out of the car because I'd have surely gotten shanked) I couldn't get the following thought out of my brain.

"The Fringe is a lot like the SJHL. They'll still let you play, you might even look good, but you're never making it to 'The Show'."

Can we stop with the 'Hairspray' commercials already? We get it already. You, the collective PR machine, think we should go see this acclaimed movie. Its clear that what we actually want doesn't matter. You're going to club us over the head until its the number one movie in the land.

But guess what? We don't want to see 'Hairspray'! John Travolta in a dress does not appeal to us! This has been done, better, the first time around when the original director released this movie. And it was not such a classic story that it needed a re-telling this soon.

So knock it off already. You want us to see 'Hairspray'. We're going to make up our minds on our own. I don't need to see two commercials for it, every time there's a break in the action of ANY TV show I might be watching.

I want to make a Rogers wireless commercial. I see the stupid ads whenever I watch sports. Its aggravating the hell out of me.

A beautiful woman is sitting on a bench, waiting for her ride. Offscreen on the right a dorky looking guy in glasses, an untucked shirt with a ruppled sweater over it, and a ratty backpack on his back sits down. The Dork looks left at the woman. She acknowledges his gaze but goes back to her Blackberry. He keeps sneaking glances at her. She ignores them.

After several seconds, and several furtive glances, the Dork speaks. He says 'I was thinking about getting one of those."

The Hot Woman looks up from her Blackberry, sizes the guy up for half a second and says "I wouldn't. You're too much of a loser."

Immediate cut to the Rogers wireless logo screen.

Blog Poll Of The Day:

(This is a serious one. I'd actually like some responses.)

What do you find the most interesting in a web site? What would make you the most likely to visit one multiple times?

We are entering a brave, new world. KY is now advertising on television.

Things That Piss Me Off:

When you faithfully read a blog, but the writer is so devoid of any kind of original idea that they post a instant message conversation they had with someone, that was equally if not more lame than posting nothing at all.

Who is listening to this crap!?!

I'm watching Punch Much again. (Okay, I know. I'm the cause of my own misery by doing this. But I checked every other channel and there was nothing worth watching anywhere. This was the least of evils.) I just suffered through one of the most excruciating 3.5 minutes of my life. It was called Young Folks by Bjorn and his Bum Buddies, or something equally vapid and puerile. Who voted for this dreck? I mean, gawd! It was awful. Claws on a chalkboard couldn't be more excruciating than this pathetic excuse for music. And PunchMuch is the channel where you have to vote a song into getting played. Someone voted for this? More than one person voted for this? Granted, I have documented proof that they manipulate the rankings to play certain songs. Still, I can't for the life of me understand why they'd go out of their way to get this turd into rotation.

Young Folks: Peter Bjorn & John - avoid it at all costs

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why are web site subscription fees so expensive?

I went to the Transformers movie last night. Good show, if you're asking for my opinion. Lots of action and very entertaining. Probably a little too heavy on GM product placement but I'll forgive that because the Camaro looked cool.

But what's the deal with Galaxy theatres? They have 12 theatres playing all the summer blockbusters, including the Transformers and Harry Potter. They have 12 theatres but 4 concession staff. How does that add up?

The whole staff minimalization thing is grossly apparent at that theatre. It starts when you walk through the door and there are more self serve kiosks for securing your movie ticket than there are live humans that can sell you admittance. That's pretty weak, if you're asking my opinion.

But what really frosts my tomatoes is the food service problem they have at that facility. I would like to throttle the architect that designed the concave counter design for the food service aisles. Not unpredictably you get all the lines converging at the center of a circle to the point that no one knows which line to get into because the whole thing is a giant cluster-bomb.

That really is the least of your worries though. You might as well just take a seat at very quaint arcade games in the corner and reconcile yourself with the fact that you're gonna miss the opening of your movie. There is no way those 4 sixteen year old are going to be able to process even a minor factor of the sum of people milling about in general confusion in the circle design in the floor.

Greg and I had nothing left to do last night so, failing a better plan we just went to the theatre early. We got out tickets at 6:15 for a 6:45 show. The path through the ticket line was quick and painless. See the above to explain why the rest wasn't. When we finally got to the front of the line, and got our very modest wares (two Cokes, a popcorn and some twizzlers) we had just enough time to walk to the theatre, and walk in during the opening previews. How bloody pathetic is it that 30 minutes is not enough time to get your damn snacks?

Otrivin is the single greatest invention ever produced by the pharmaceutical industry.

I can honestly say that Sean Kingston doesn't look anything like I thought he would.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why is it that when you have a cold, it only seems that one side of your nose is stuffed up at a time?

Things That Piss Me Off

People that don't know when to quit drinking.

If its Tuesday night . . .

And you go to a rock concert at the local arena . . .

You get there at about 6:30 . . .

And you immediately head for the bar . . .

At which point you order a double . . .

And insist that you should get one, despite the rules against it . . .

Then YOU are an alcoholic.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why is it that every woman in popular music has a sequence in her music video that looks like it came straight out of the Spearmint Rhino?

Dear TSN:

Please do not assign Rod Black to CFL football games. He doesn't just suck at the job of play-by-play announcement. His lack of skill transcends the description of sucking. Rod Black's ineptitude in this function approaches epic status.

Milt Stegall is one touchdown away from setting a new record for touchdowns scored in a career. Okay, we get it. So shut up already!! Having to listen to it, over and over again, just drives me into a rage that can only be described as psychotic. I want to kill something, anything just to make the constant phrase 'Milt Stegall' disappear from my brain. Its this incessant, pounding refrain of 'Milt Stegall, Milt Stegall, Milt Stegall'. The repetition assualts your senses with deliberate maliciousness until you are tearing at your scalp trying to make the voices stop.

So please, if you have any concern for the fans of the CFL that are watching your telecast, you will not assign Rod Black to the game. Because once Milt reaches his record, and he will reach it eventually, Rod will find some other inane statistic in the game on which to obsess. Which will bring back the voices to reverberate in our minds. And well adjusted or not, we will be turned into slobbering, monotonous oafs, constantly shouting 'Milt Stegall' or some other short, easily remembered catch phrase.

In closing I would like to again ask you, the brain-trust of TSN, to please not assign Rod Black to any more football games. Me, my fragile psyche, and the hundreds of thousands of other afflicted CFL fans would thank you.

Regards,

CFL Fan #11105

Blog Song Of The Day:

My Chemical Romance - Teenagers

"No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air."

Blog Question Of The Day:

When Superman gets shot, why doesn't he at least end up with a hole in his costume?

I have just finished watching my third CFL game of the season. The Riders beat Montreal 16-7. It was a largely boring game but the outcome was nice. I would like to make an observation about one of the new rules in the CFL.

There needs to be a concept of discretion in the application of any rule that's in the book. Because there was a situation that was absolutely ridiculous in tonight's game. A Saskatchewan Roughrider struggled through the line and ended up on the ground at the Montreal quarterback's feet. Calvillo proceeded to trip over the Rider. This was considered, tackling below the knees, and amounted to a 15 yard roughing the pass penalty.

Come on! This is just stupid. I agree, we should protect the quarterback. And if someone submarines the passer when he's trying to throw, that should be a penalty. But when a guy is lying on the ground and grabs the quarterback's foot, that's not a penalty. Football is a rough game, and sometimes people get hurt. Quarterback's are exposed, and I agree that they need protection. But no defensive guy is going to catastrophically injure a quarterback by trying to bring him down while lying on his belly.

That's my three nickels worth of opinion.

Man its good to be watching CFL football again!!

However . . .

I had forgotten how many ANNOYING poker commercials they play on TSN. Does this work? Does anyone visit these sites because of the commercial? I can't see how they could be each and every commercial is absolutely brutal.

Blog Observation Of The Day #1:

I am spending too much time thinking about the iPhone.

Its not available anywhere yet. At least not officially. Some insiders have managed to snag one but I won't repeat those stories. Officially it doesn't release until June 29. And that's only in the U.S. A release date in Canada has not been confirmed. And its not even going to be available on my carrier! You have to have Rogers Wireless, and that's pretty much the crappiest service there ever was.

So, given all the things between me and ever having an iPhone, why am I spending so much time thinking about it?

Brian: My sandwich tastes funny. Is there something wrong with the Smuckers?
Peter: Yeah, its been on my crotch.

Blog Quote Of The Day:

"You like that stroke, don't you?" announcer in the Cincinnati Reds/Seattle Mariners baseball game

Blog Question Of The Day:

Do we really need a sidewalk along 51st Street?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Ministry - N.W.O.

Blog Question Of The Day:

What is behind the compulsion that exists for country, or western performances to play rock music as the background preceeding the event? Have they conceded that their music is shitake and its a pathetic attempt to co-opt something that is clearly superior?

In the intervening years between when she first released her version of Janis Joplin's 'Piece Of My Heart' and tonight's rendition, live at Credit Union Center, I have to confess that I believe she has greatly improved her delivery of the classic song.

Things That Don't Make Sense:

You are hosting a concert that will fill the building to its capacity of 13,000+ people. Before the concert begins, you intentionally block of 1/4 of the pre-defined parking spots. Thus, first arrivals are already resigned to parking half a mile from the building.

WHY!?!?!?!

Blog Question Of The Day:

(This one is just for the Saskatoon people. And I'm serious about this. I drove by tonight and couldn't remember for the life of me the name.)

What was the name of the hotel, across the street from the Barry, that was just as much of a dump?

June 18, 2007 Observation #1:

Alexis Bledel has the prettiest blue eyes.

Things That Don't Make Sense:

Why is Bon Jovi on the country channel CMT?

Things That Don't Make Sense:

People and wearing shorts. Today is not a nice day. This weather would be more common in Bangladesh than here. Its raining, HARD. Plus its not especially warm. The truck said 13 C. I go into KFC, almost sprinting to get in out of the driving rain. What do I find? Two idiots in T-shirts and board shorts, eating their chicken.

Can someone please explain to me, given the enormous pain in the ass that she is, why anyone would hire Rosie O'Donnell to do anything?

Things that Piss Me Off

What is it with cowboys that their events can never be on time? I'm at this bull riding event tonight and these jackasses are 30 minutes late getting started!!! What the hell is up with that? And then throughout the event they are constantly wasting time. I hate cowboys.

Things That Don't Make Sense

Bud Light bottles. Why do you call it a twist off cap if you can't twist it off without losing a significant portion of your hand?

Things That Don't Make Sense

Having a 'Baby On Board' sign in the back window of your car, and driving at an absurdly large amount over the posted speed limit of the freeway.

I watched 'The Dukes of Hazzard' tonight. There was nothing else to do and it was on the movie channel. I have a few comments.

Why is the smart Duke boy the guy from Jackass?

How do you turn the original Uncle Jesse, and turn him into a reefer fiend?

Are Jessica Simpson's breasts real? They really don't look real in a lot of those outfits.

Speaking of Jessica Simpson, how could they have her play a smart Daisy Duke, as a stupid bimbo? And how do you do a bad job of being a blonde bimbo when you are, in fact, a blonde bimbo?

All in all, I was disappointed in the movie. They made phony caricatures of all the main players from the original show. They added components that didn't make any sense, and generally wasted what could have been a good premise. The movie could have done with better direction and a much tighter focus. I give it a C.

Blog Song Of The Day:

Young Jeezy f/ R. Kelly - Go Getta

Blog Song Of The Day:

The White Stripes - Icky Thump

Justice has been served.

I am satisfied.

I really can't believe I have to get upset about this. In a world with a myriad of problems, from wars to famine to disease, why is THIS at the head of the news world.

Paris Hilton is out of jail after 5 days.

In an ordinary world, someone beating a drunk driving rap probably wouldn't be that big a deal. I'll be this kind of thing happens. Its a petty, minor crime so they sweep the person out of the way to make room for bigger problems.

The trouble is, Paris Hilton is a bigger problem.

You can NOT just sweep this girl aside to make room for harsher criminals. As this has proven, the whole world is going to hear about justice as it pertains to this spoiled debutante. And in the spirit of justice you HAVE to make her serve the whole sentence. And not even the pansy-ass 23 days reduced sentence. She needs to go back to jail for the FULL 45 days.

Why do I care about this? Why does anyone care about this? Because it is about justice. If you let her have electronic monitoring at home, or just wash the slate clean with her sentence, she gets away with it. And everyone gets to see that the law doesn't necessary apply. That can't happen. Maybe its 'unfair' that she gets singled out for punishment. But her place in society makes it so. Everyone sees her. So the letter of the law has to apply to her.

Celebrity is a double edged sword. It makes you famous and you're opened up to a world of privilege that the rest of the world will never see. But it also holds you to a standard. Because everyone is watching, you have to play by the rules. If you choose not to play by the rules, then the punishment can, and should, come down on your neck like the blade of a guillotine. If you KNOW that everyone is watching, why would you think you could get away with it?

I don't even know if I can finish watching this game. The Stanley Cup on the line, because its gone if they lose, Ottawa came out and laid a big fat egg.

They needed a herculean effort, and they played like a bunch of weiners.

There are two moments, both from the third period, that really stand out for me as examples of why the Ottawa Senators lost this series.

The first was Anaheim's fifth goal. By my count that came on their 14th shot of the game. That's FIVE goals on 14 shots. You know, Stanley Cup or not, I think I could do almost that good. And nobody's paying me. I'd be doing it for pride.

Now I don't mean to say that Emery had a bad series. That couldn't be farther from the truth. For the most part I thought he played great. But its an example of how the TEAM played. When the chips were down and they had to play the best hockey of their lives, they mailed it in. They played like they ate huge bowls of oatmeal right before the game. Emery, who'd done all but stand on his head the whole series, plays like a slaughtered lamb and lets in 5 goals. That's not his game. But this was the BIG ONE and like the rest of his team-mates, he tanked it. That's why they didn't win. They had to be their absolute best, and they weren't even in their top 10 performances of the playoffs.

And the other example was the penalty shot. If there was a reason why Ottawa had no chance to win this playoff series, that penalty shot provides the example. What happened when he came down the ice? He juked three times, threw in a head fake, and tried to put the puck in on his backhand. But the puck squirted away harmlessly and the penalty shot was useless.

SHOOT THE BLOODY PUCK!!! You can't score if you don't shoot. And Ottawa didn't shoot. Time and again it was three passes, most around behind the net, and then flick it harmlessly off a blocking defenceman. Over and over again it was the same drill. Pass, pass, pass, turnover. And when they did shoot it was some useless shot from the point. Never in front, never banging away at the goalie, never with an open net to shoot at. Giguere had it easy because everyone else on the ice got hit with more rubber than he did. If you want to win, just blast away at the net 30 times. The law of averages says you'll score a few.

Defencemen shouldn't have the lead in shots on net. And that's what Ottawa tried to do. They got out shot, out skated, out hit, and out played. They lost because they were second best.

BOOOO!!!!!!!

For those of you that are looking for a break from your Labatts or your Molson's may I recommend:

Stewart's Original Fountain Classic Root Beer

It comes in the familiar brown bottle but has an oh, so sweet taste. It can be found in the cooler at most of your fine, grocery establishments.

I have a few comments about air travel.

Air Canada sucks. They suck! I can't believe how bad the quality is on an Air Canada service.
- They are almost always delayed. A perfect example is yesterday. Why are you booking a crew from an international flight as the next crew on a domestic flight? They have to clear customs. Idiots.
- The flights are uncomfortable. I couldn't believe how cramped the plane was to Calgary from Saskatoon. It was absurd. Then we fly a Dash 8 from Toronto to Milwaukee, a flight that became almost two hours long because of the reduced speed. Horrible.
- How can they allow for planes to leave from that shanty town that housed their regional flights from Toronto? That was pathetic. You're at the Toronto airport and the flights leave out of what looks like second-rate construction trailers. They should be ashamed of themselves.
- The pee cups you get for a 'complimentary' beverage are also embarassing. Its uncomfortable in there, with 100 people and recycled air, and all you offer me is a urine sample size of Coke?
About the only thing I felt Air Canada did right on their flights was the complimentary snack. They have upgraded to Oreo's. That was appreciated.

I have a question. I sat in the Toronto airport yesterday and watched three flights exit from my gate before it was my turn. How do they set flight numbers? Some have three digits, some have four. It all seems random. Is there a system? Do the numbers mean something?

You're in an airport. You're not at the beach. Wear some real shoes. Those god-damn flip-flops look ridiculous.

Why is it that, when faced with the prospect of boarding a plane, that people lose the ability to follow directions? They announce boarding by row. Only board according to row! This is not a hard concept! The whole POINT of it is to minimized the pissing around that happens on a plane when people board. People have to hydraulically lift their steamer trunk sized carry-on luggage into the overheard compartment. And every god damn person has to do this. If you follow the god-damn directions, then the people that are supposed to be at the back, can get to the back, and only piss off their fellow travellers at the back. When you don't follow directions, some ASSHOLE in row 5 gets on, and has to lever his freezer box carry-on into the overhead compartment. Meanwhile every other passenger on the plane is stuck behind this jack-ass, who's inevitably senile, or demented and can't figure out why it won't go into the compartment. So they fruitlessly jam on it while everyone behind him steams enough to melt the windows on the plane.

Back to Air Canada for a minute, although I suspect this is true for any large airline. Why can't you book your crew assignments so that its quick and convenient for the crew to make their departure? We, as travellers, are told to arrive 1 hour ahead of our flight time. And the crew jets in from Boston with 15 minutes to spare before they are supposed to get on the plane to Calgary. What the hell is that all about? The least you could do is make sure the flight is arriving into the same terminal they are supposed to depart from.

Why aren't there more clocks in the airport? I don't understand this at all. The whole place runs on an incredibly complex and tight schedule, and if your watch dies, you have no idea what the hell is going on. Or, and this is more common, you get off a long flight, in which you slept for part or all of it, and you're completely disoriented. You stumble out into the terminal and you need to know how long you have until you make your connecting flight. And there's no damn clock anywhere! I hate that. And this is even worse, you find a clock and its clearly the wrong time. I found that in Toronto. It was mid-afternoon and the clock said 10:45. Note to airports - get more clocks.

I have another complaint about the shanty town out at the back end of the Toronto airport. I thought it was called Terminal 1 but then yesterday the REAL terminal I was in was calling itself Terminal 1 so really I have no idea what that embarassment out in the weeds is really called. It doesn't matter, other than to again say that they should be ashamed of themselves. Moreso when you discover what they do to you.
I come off a regular flight from Calgary that disembarks into the real terminal. I follow all the signs, do the customs thing, including that STUPID pick up your bag to drop off your bag thing. My path through the airport ends at a sliding glass door that says that some 20 odd gates are outside. This makes no sense. The helpful union employee sitting in a chair by the door says you get on the bus. So I get on the bus. I thought nothing of that because I knew there was more than one terminal to the Toronto airport. What dismayed me was being taken out to the back end of NOWHERE to be dropped off at the shanty town of trailers that was the regional departure points for flights into, mostly, the US than Air Canada doesn't really care about. This might not be such a big deal EXCEPT that once you get out there, there is no services. There is ONE food stand and one news stand. And the price of a rather unappealing sandwich is NINE dollars!!!

This is more more of an observation than a comment but why is it that none of the border services people appear to be native born Canadians? I suppose its kind of ugly to notice. I passed through Canada Border Services (its not Customs anymore) a number of times in the past few days and there weren't any blonde haired/blue eyed people waving wands at me. Is there something about that particular wing of government service that doesn't appeal to average Canadians? Usually your ordinary citizen will step on his mother to work for the government.

And finally, leave it to the Saskatoon Airport to be the ONLY airport in my considerable travels where I had to wait for my checked luggage. Good job guys. Nice to see you really earning that union wage.

I went to the bank today. I'm going to Wisconsin for a plant tour this week and I figured I should have some American money. In case I want to get a sandwich or need to pay for a cab. So I went to my bank for a withdrawal.

I go to the teller and first of all, the scanner machine didn't like my card. Why the hell do I have to use a scanner at the god damn teller? I'm standing right there! But no, we have to fuss with the stupid scanning machine for like 5 minutes, even though it clearly doesn't want to work.

It finally worked.

Anyway. . . I ask for $100 in American money. It seemed like a nice, round number. She goes and fetches the American money. She looks through it and says to me 'we only have $100 bills'.

WHAT in THEE hell is up with that!?!

Can someone explain to me why a bank would even KEEP $100 American bills? What practical purpose could this serve? People come into the bank and need $5's and $10's. Not hundreds! This is functionally useless. And yet, its all they had. So I had to take the stupid $100 bill, go to another bank, and change it into more usable denominations.

Sometimes the insanity of the world makes me want to smack my head.

What's the deal with every website wanting to install a toolbar in my browser!?!

The first, and most egregious, of these things is the Google toolbar. Now I will grant, Google is the best thing to happen to internet search since, well, forever. But I don't need a god damn toolbar in my browser, screwing everything up, just so I can save one click.

Who doesn't have Google in their bookmarks? Anyone? Does having a TOOLBAR actually save us any real work? You click in the Google toolbar or you click your bookmark. Its about the same thing.

And no matter what site I go to, email, shopping, messaging, they all want to install a toolbar. Screw off with your toolbars!!! All they do is slow up performance and clog up the arteries of my computer with useless crap I'll never use. Toolbars are the Twinkies of the internet. Strangely appealing but likely to lead to a premature heart attack (or hard drive replacement)

Down with toolbars!!!

Well that pisses me off.

Ottawa has lost the first game of the 2007 Stanley Cup Finals. For two periods it didn't look like they would. There were some lapses but overall they had Anaheim under control.

Then they tanked the third period.

What the hell was that about? I swear, the effort in that third period looked like the pick-up teams we have on Friday afternoon hockey in the winter. It was terrible. I thought I could advance the puck farther up the ice than Ottawa did. I think they spent most of the first 15 minutes of that period in their own end. Did they even have a shot on net? It was retarded.

Which is only compounded by the fact that they poured it on after going down a goal. Obviously they were playing like idiots for some kind of reason. They could have won if they'd played all period like they did in the last 2 minutes.

I wish I understood how professional athletes can tank it so badly in a championship game.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Is Subway fast food?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

Blog Question Of The Day:

What would you want your X-Man power to be?

Blog Question Of The Day:

What the hell is a padonkadonk?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Lily Allen - Alfie

I am now in love with Penelope Cruz.

Blog Song Of The Day:

Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

Go Sens!!!

Things That Piss Me Off:

I went into Quizno's the other day. I was in a bit of a hurry because I was on my way to an event and I was late leaving because I'd forgotten to tend to my cat. That's a long story I won't go into.

Anyway, I'm in Quizno's and in a hurry. Usually its pretty quick. Pick your sandwich, they make it, and meet the food at the register. That's what usually happens. Not this day.

What the hell is wrong with people? I get to the order desk and here's this family of morons, clogging up the aisle. They're standing square in front of the order window and not a single one of them can figure out what they want. Except the kid, who knows what he wants, but his mother is telling him that he can't have it. Then there's the old woman who absolutely insists that she'll pay for her own sandwich. This is even though you don't PAY at the order desk!

I'm standing there fuming and this band of bumbling idiots are practically reading the entire Quizno's menu board. Which, I have noted at previous instances is not all that voluminious. Nevertheless, when three idiots are all reading it, in something akin to the 'round' we used to do in third grade music, the list gets pretty damn wrong.

These Captain Wizards finally manage to get their food ordered, but that's just where the fun starts. Now we re-visit the old woman's insistence that she pay for her own meal. Oh, we also have to add salads to our meal now. Christ only knows why because when they get the bill for these collections we have to get the stupid price itemized. And we have to argue, parent to child, about the relative merit of milk versus Coca-Cola. The whole fiasco seems neverending.

Rules:

1. Know what you want to order
2. If you don't know, get the hell out of the way of people that do.
3. Don't complain about the price
4. Don't change your order after she rings it up
5. And most important of all, if you're going to be an ASS in the sub store, don't make it such a cluster-bomb that no one else gets their sub delivered right either

I did something stupid today. I drove into the gas station, parked it and got out. Only then did I discover that I was parked with my gas door on the wrong side.

Why is it that the location of the gas door not a standard feature on automobiles? Or, at the very least, that it can always be found on the same side? This is just stupid. I had a Chevrolet Trailblazer and it was on the driver's side. Now I have a Chevrolet Equinox and its on the passenger side.

This doesn't seem like it should be rocket surgery. Gas door is always on the left. Or the right. I don't care where they decide to put it. I just care that it should always be on the same side. I shouldn't have to think about this. The location of the gas door should be so predictable that its mere instinct to drive up to the pumps. It should be just like it was today. Drive up, park it, get out and start pumping. There shouldn't be that sheepish, oh crap moment when you have to back up and pull in to the other side.

Auto-makers - get on it!

I wish I could tell you I haven't blogged because I was doing something. I wish I could do that but I can't. I was doing something boring.

I was drafting.

I spent the week creating an intricately detailed 3D AutoCAD model of a unit we're going to construct for an upcoming project. It took me three full days. I did nothing but draft and sleep.

But now its donee. And oddly I feel a little hollow.

If you need me, I'll be here.

This is f$%king weak!

I'm listening to Americans call the hockey game tonight; Ottawa versus New Jersey. I'm watching the CBC and I'm listening to a really weak effort in sports commentating by a couple of Americans on a channel that probably 0.01% of the the US population is watching.

Meanwhile, CBC is probably getting some of their highest viewership of the entire year.

How much do we really ask of the CBC? Nobody watches the stupid channel anymore. They've populated the schedule with unwatchable dreck that nobody likes. Its all culture crap that doesn't really speak to our culture. Somehow they're missing the boat.

But they have hockey.

Every spring the CBC gets huge ratings because they show hockey. Its the one Canadian cultural event that they get right. But tonight they aren't getting right.

I want a tax rebate for this. Why do we subsidize the CBC if they screw up the ONLY thing we ask of them every year!?! This is not acceptable. We can't let this go unpunished. The Parliament can get up in arms about a 17 month old hockey issue. Here's one that's fresh and new and truly offensive to every Canadian.

We want OUR hockey! Not the stupid, pathetic crap they peddle on backwater channels in the US. Get it right. Do it now. Make it true and free and Canadian.

Signed,

one pissed off Canadian

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I get a new cell phone?

I was out for dinner in a restaurant with other people tonight. I made some observations.

First of all, this kid in town that works all these jobs, really needs to consider dropping his service career. He absolutely sucks at it. He can't remember anything. Keeps making mistakes, and ends up bringing the wrong stuff, and almost in the wrong order. I got my soup and then the Coke. What the hell is up with that?

People that are full tend to take smaller and smaller bites, the more full they get. Its as if you'll somehow magically be able to eat more, if each individual portion of it that you take is incrementally smaller.

When you're full of food you seem to want to drink more.

Blog Song Of The Day:

Marianas Trench - Shaketramp

Blog Question Of The Day:

Should I buy a new laptop, to upgrade to Windows Vista?

Things That Piss Me Off:

What's the deal with these cell phone text message plans? I'm watching videos and they are just raining down the commercials like hellfire and damnation. Its annoying.

"Get the best Yo Mama jokes"

Who falls for this? I mean, come on! You can't honestly think they'll send this to you for free. Especially with that disclaimer at the bottom of the commerical, that is supposed to be unreadable. But I can read it and I was appalled at what it said.

$2.00 per message and a message a day. Do the math on that. Its gonna add up in a huge way. And I suppose someone is stupid enough to sign up for it, otherwise they wouldn't advertise.

Do yourself a favor, if you've been duped by this scheme. Cancel your account and get a new one with a different carrier. I suspect that's the only way to stop the string of 'You Mama' jokes that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Vancouver - 4
Dallas - 1

That ended exactly the way I wanted it to. And it would have been a shame for it to have ended any other way because Vancouver really did outplay Dallas through the middle to end of the game.

Now we rally together for round two. As patriotic Canadians we have two teams left to cheer for: Vancouver and Ottawa. Let's go!!!

Can someone get a hold of PartyPoker.net? Hockey's back been back for awhile now. We should let the poker people know their 15 minutes are up.

You never feel more loved than when you come home, and as you walk up the front walk, you see your cat looking out the front window at you.

The results of my Star Wars personality profile are in:

Blog Hockey Question Of The Day:

Is it illegal to get a high stick on a referee?

Blog Question Of The Day:

What the hell is the point of writing an explicit rap song if you're just going to drastically re-write the same song so you can be on the radio or have the video play on TV?

What in the HELL is an IED?

I ask this because they are forever mentioning that soldiers are being killed in Afghanistan by IED's. I wondered to myself, what the hell is an IED? I read the term, IED, all the time when I read reports of our efforts over there in that country. Soldiers are killed in their tank because they hit an IED. So what the hell is it?

Dictionary.com defines IED as:

WordNet - Cite This Source

ied

noun

an explosive device that is improvised [syn: improvised explosive device]

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.

Oh, so its a bomb.

So why in the HELL can't you just say BOMB!?!?!

When did it become inappropriate to call a bomb a bomb? It doesn't even take as many syllables to say bomb as it does to say I-E-D. So what the hell is the advantage of calling a bomb and IED!?!

The only possible explanation would be that you want to convey that its a crappy, homemade bomb. So just call it a homemade bomb. There's nothing gained by trying to say its an 'improvised explosive device'. That's just dressing up the obvious. Some guy wrapped up some nails and sharp rocks in a glass jar full of gas and fertilizer. Its not a good bomb, just some lethal junk put together and buried in the road. And all of that gets the fancy title of 'improvised explosive device'.

Its not an Improvised Explosive Device!!! Its a homemade bomb! Christ, just call it what it is. You make up a fancy description for something that's actually crude and ugly. Why polish a turd? A bomb is a bomb. A crappy bomb is a crappy bomb.

Just call it a bomb!!!

Blog Question Of The Day:

If 1956 was the first year for A&W, why didn't we hear a bunch of hoopla about their 50th anniversary last year?

Yay Maple Leafs!!!

Note To Self:

Don't get salt from Tandoori Sizzler Doritos in your eye

I smell like ass.

Normally you wouldn't admit to that but this is something of a special case. The ass in question is not really ass at all. The smell of hot, fresh ass is actually the result of a pail of waste water from an oat processing plant. Turns out if you let it ferment for an week it turns into the smell we all know and don't love.

We were doing an experiment today. We had three samples of water from the previously mentioned oat processing plant that we wanted to filter, and then subsequently have the filtrate analyzed for water quality. We had a number of difficulties in achieving this purpose. The bulk of our problems revolved around pumps. As in, we couldn't find one that would pump water. That was exceedingly frustrating.

Back to the ass. . .

The last pail we wanted to filter was really rank. I mean, chase you from the room rank. And it was a big room. In fact, it chased several people from the room. Nonetheless, my partner Alain and I perservered. We had a mission. Lamentably, we were plagued by the previously mentioned pump problems. The problem being, the pump wouldn't move any water. After at least half an hour of fussing with it, in complete desperation, we took the discharge hose off the pump and tried to see if it would move water that way.

This, was a mistake.

The pump, without the discharge hose, would move water. Quite well actually. That might not be such a big deal except we were dealing with the previously mentioned ass-smelling water. A pump without a connected discharge hose will shoot water in an indiscriminant direction. In this case the direction was all over us. Thus we smelled like ass.

Which might not have been such a big deal except that, because of the nature of the water we were pumping, and the pump we had to use, this last sample took forever to filter enough water for our sampling purposes. While the first bottles took about an hour to fill our samples, this last, stinky, sample took SIX hours. We were at the office until midnight, filtering water with our little sample system. I like my job but I have my limits. Midnight on a long weekend is too long to stay at work.

Luckily a shower has washed the ass smell off me. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get the rest I've been craving since 5:00.

by special request (and you know who you are)

Blog Quote Of The Day: (and its topical too!)

. . . from where I sit it appears that life can be absolutely, fucking, BRUTAL!!! I view life like a big desperate bear, loose in the campground. I try to avert its gaze, because if you lock eyes with it, it thinks you want to play, it doesn't know its own strength, and it just starts BEATING the living SHIT out of you! All in the name of good, clean kodiak fun.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Would you rather have a Mac or a Dell?

Blog Poll Of The Day:

How often do you save your work?

Blog Question Of The Day?

Should I buy an old Pontiac Firefly and customize it?

March 29th is brought to you by . . .

Crazy Achmed's House of Discount Chevy's!!!

Blog Song Of The Day:

Squirrel Nut Zippers - Hell

Things That Piss Me Off:

It really gets on my nerves the way hotels charge you for internet access. You just know they are running a $24.95 broadband connection into the hotel, and then splitting it from there for each room. What is especially egregious is when they provide this in the form of wireless internet. They obviously didn't even go to the trouble of running cable to each room. They just put a DLink wireless access point somewhere central in the hotel and hope you can get enough signal in your room.

But what really galls me about this is the price they charge for the internet access. For the $24.95 they are PAYING to bring internet to the hotel, they are CHARGING me $12.94 per DAY! So, if I stay for two nights, and agree to their outrageous charges, then I personally have paid for their entire month of internet access. Everyone else could, and by rights should, get access for free. But they don't. Everyone else pays $12.95 too and the hotel rakes in a disgusting amount of money for doing absolutely nothing at all.

Blog Song Of The Day:

Hinder – Better Than Me

They have this new channel on Sirius now. Its called Lithium. Its supposed to be all 90's alternative and grunge rock. The stuff I grew up on. For my part they could throw in some Metallica too, but I guess that's not their mandate.

For some asinine reason they keep playing Cake. That crap wasn't good back in the 90's and it sure as hell isn't good now. They only had ONE song that got any radio airplay, and that one sucked ass anyway. Why they keep playing more crap from the same crappy band, I can no ascertain.

The point of this post is to make note of something that I think has been forgotten. Being a 90's alternative channel, they play a lot of Pearl Jam. A lot. Especially the first album, Ten. I've probably heard half the songs from that album now. And even though its 15 years later, they're still kick ass songs. As albums go, you can't really judge them by the collective anymore. An album seems to be, just a collection of singles in present day. But Ten was an album. And by my estimation, it has to be either the best, or one of the best, rock albums of my generation.

Take that for what its worth.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Did you ever think a metal song was sounding pretty good and then they came in with some absolutely brutal lyrics?

Blog Question Of The Day:

In Clerks II we discover what happens to Dante Hicks and Randal Graves, 10 years later. What about all the other characters from the View Askewniverse? Whatever happened to Brandy Svennig and Brodie Bruce?

Mallrats is an entirely under-rated movie.

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why does Fergie spell something in all of the singles she's released from her debut album? Is she worried that her fans don't know the alphabet?

Blog Song Of The Day:

Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

If you like my blog then you'll probably like this site:

Ill Will Press


I especially like the one - 'Cell Phones and Car Ads'

Blog Question Of The Day:

Why don't they have an all-cheese sandwich at Subway?

That's it. I've had it. Enough is enough already. I shoveled for an hour tonight to get my driveway clean. Its just about March for crying out loud! I have to push all the snow to the sidewalk in front of my yard, and then push it down the sidewalk to find a spot on my lawn I can toss it on to. What the hell is up with that?

I've have enough. I am at war with snow. Its me or the snow. One is going to break, and I swear it won't be me.

The snow, the snow, the snow has got to go!
The snow, the snow, the snow has got to go!
The snow, the snow, the snow has got to go!

Things That Piss Me Off:

I hate when you click on an 'Enlarge Picture' link, hoping to get a picture of relatively decent size, and it brings up a pop-up that shows the same image at maybe 25% larger, which is still too small to make out any detail.

I have to tell someone about this because it just pissed me off so much.

I left my computer on last night. I had a couple of songs queued up but they weren’t actively downloading, so I figured I’d leave the computer running and see if they came down overnight. I got up this morning and my computer had rebooted. Windows, in its infinite wisdom, had seen fit to grab a patch, install it, and then conveniently re-boot my computer. Because its so painfully obvious that I want to re-boot whenever Windows thinks its appropriate.

God do I hate that. I wish Windows was a person, so I could wrap my hands around its neck and throttle it. If my computer is on then its on for a reason. I don’t WANT to reboot every stupid time it does something. Install a program, download a patch, change a setting, these do NOT raise within me a spontaneous desire to reboot. I hate rebooting! I’ll do it when I want, not because Windows thinks it should be done.

In short, Windows sucks.

The end.